This is a drabble inspired by LunaMarr's 'Dating Jonathan Crane'. Enjoy!

Congratulations on your new relationship with Edward Nygma a.k.a. The Riddler! Here is a short list put together by our experts and hopefully will aid in your survival.

When asked a riddle, make sure to get it right, if not disastrous consequences will follow.

Even if unsure of an answer to a riddle, do NOT look up the answer, he will kill you, LITERALLY.

If you get a riddle wrong, RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.

NEVER EVER insult his riddles or his intelligence under ANY circumstances. He. Will. Kill. You.

If he asks you if he's the smartest person on this world, say yes even if you don't mean it,

If he comes home, bruised and bloodied and cursing the Bat. Don't ask him any questions and clean him up as gently as you can.

Do not use Edward's cane as a crutch, a baseball bat or to squash bugs, he will be offended.

If Edward rants about how smart he is, no matter how boring it is, PAY ATTENTION.

Do not be surprised if your outfit is green and purple and has a question mark on it.

It DEFINITELY helps if your favourite colours are green, purple and gold. Literally everything he owns are those three colours.

Do NOT annoy or pester him, he will not hesitate to stick you in a death trap and riddle you to death.

Hope you enjoyed this piece of fanfiction! What would you like to see next? :)

V out. x