Title: Songfic, GO!
A/N: Ah, my first fan fiction. It was only 3 failed stories, 2 months of reading other stories as research, and 2 weeks of pre-writing/typing to get here, but I'm actually decently happy with how it turned out. Now this isn't a one-shot, but the next chapter probably won't be up for another week, depending on how my week goes.
As I said it's my first fan-fic, but I'm accepting all forms of criticism, even flames. If I get a lot of those, I will probably sit in a corner somewhere until I put out a better story.
Last thing before this gets under way, I know the title is kinda lame, but it's the only thing I could think of that would make sense for this story. And lastly comes this,
Disclaimer: I don't even own the laptop I typed this on. Only a fool would believe I actually own the Teen Titans. (The same applies to the songs in here too.)
Chapter 1- "Last Resort"
"Why can't you lighten up for once in your life?" He shouted. "Jesus Christ, it was just a joke!"
"No, it wasn't Beast Boy. You know how I feel about HIM." Beast Boy was taken aback. She hadn't called him by his superhero name since they started dating. She MUST be pissed at him.
"I figured you would be over that by now…"
"Well you were wrong! I'll never forgive him for what he did."
"Well, you never talk to me about stuff like that, and I can't know if you don't let me in. Why won't you let me in?" He questioned her. "Why won't you let me see what you're feeling?"
"You already know the answer to that," she responded. "My powers run on emotion, so I can't…"
He immediately cut her off. "Don't give me that, Raven. I'm half animal, and I know a load of bullshit when I smell it." He paused for a brief moment. "You know what I think?" Raven merely shook her head. She had far too many responses for that comment, but all of them would make the situation MUCH worse than it was. Beast Boy continued his rant. "I think you're afraid. I think you're so afraid of a committed relationship, that you shut yourself off from the world.
"There's one problem with that, though. You can't have ANY sort of relationship without letting people in, Rae. We can't go anywhere with this relationship if you can't open up to me at least a little." He ended his rant to give her the chance to respond.
Unfortunately for the both of them, she responded without giving herself time to think, as is often the case with fights like this. "Who said I want to go anywhere with this relationship?" She responded, not believing a word she is saying. "Who said I'm not just using this relationship to get over Malchior finally? Hell, maybe I never thought this relationship would go anywhere from the start." She paused to take a breath, and to prepare to throw the verbal haymaker. "Maybe I always knew this was never meant to be." It landed right in the sweet spot.
Inside, his world crumbled. His mind exploded, releasing a flood of emotions that were being held back by the heat of the moment. Outside, however, his face was stone. It was almost as if he hadn't heard what she said, or that she was speaking another language. They stood in the center of her bedroom for a moment, until finally he spoke up. "Well, if that's how you feel about it, then I should probably get out of your hair before this fight escalates." With that, he turned and walked out the door.
She watched him walk out the door, expecting him to whirl back around and apologize, or try to make things right, or something! He never did, though. Instead, he just kept walking. It wasn't until the door shut, and the footsteps faded, that the full realization of what happened hit her. When it did, she fell to her knees, and started crying.
Beast Boy made a beeline for his room. He wasn't crying like Raven, not yet anyway. He was fighting back tears as hard as he could, and failing. He, at the very least, wanted to make it to his room. He brushed passed Cyborg, who gave him a questioning look. Beast Boy ignored him, and kept moving straight for his room. When he got there, he expertly maneuvered around the mess on the floor and laid down on the top bunk. Finally, the tears began to fall. How could she have said that? He asked himself. How can she not see how much I care about her? Unfortunately, he didn't have the answers. Suddenly, a wave of pure depression hit him.
How could I treat her like that? He criticized himself. Why couldn't I just give her more space? That's all she needed and I stayed in her face the whole time. With that thought, he pulled off his gloves and pulled up the long, black sleeves of his uniform to expose his forearms. The horizontal scars that showed themselves stared at Garfield Logan mockingly. He could almost hear them screaming insults at him. Coward. Weakling. Disturbed. Freak. They were terrible, hurtful, and yet, he accepted them. "They're right," he said aloud. And it's time to prove them right again. He reached down in between the mattresses and pulled out 2 objects, an iPod Touch and a black, knife handle. He scrolled through the iPod library until he found the song he wanted. He selected it, and pressed a button on the knife handle, releasing the blade.
He brought the blade to the underside of his forearm as a voice screamed in the ear buds.
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
As the guitar wailed, full depression set in.
This is my last resort Cut my life into pieces
I've
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Oh, if only, he thought to himself.
Mutilation outta sight 'Cause I'm losing my sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Too bad I'm not. Not even close. I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
Tears began to fall.
No love for myself 'Cause I'm losing my sight
And no love for another
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me in fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying (x4)
At this point, he really was crying. I can't go on living this way Cut my life into pieces 'Cause I'm losing my sight I can't go on living this way
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
Can't go on
Living this way
Nothing's alright
When the song had ended, he had 4 new cuts on his arms, to join the dozens of scars already present. He watched as the blood dripped slowly from them, almost mesmerized by the red liquid oozing from his arms. He knew that by morning the bleeding would end, and within a week the cuts would be scars, just like the others. They were constant reminders of all his failures. He made 10 the night they stopped the end of the world. He felt as though it was his fault it even happened, because he couldn't protect Raven as well as he should. The memories of all his failures flooded him, hitting him like a sack of bricks. All this combined with his recent failure; he ended up crying himself to sleep.
