Hello everyone! I am currently working on a fantasy book project. I decided to post my prologue here to have your opinion, so the reviews would be appreciated, I hope you'll like it. Don't hesitate to give me advices to improve my English (English isn't my first language).

Originally posted on FictionPress under the username RickyPhoenix (if you want to read the French version you can find it there.


The valiant warrior wiped his bloody chin with the back of his hand. He rose up, while searching for his weapon. When he found it, he ran to retrieve it. His weapon was a saber with a golden handle decorated with a green emerald jewel. The blade had an unusual paleness that looked almost white in the sunlight. It was a luxuriant weapon, worthy of the legendary fighter he was.

"Frederic, look out!" a familiar voice screamed.

With a quick movement, the warrior caught his weapon's handle. When he turned, he discovered three archers who were about to shoot him.

Armed with his saber, Frederic was ready to take the offensive. He dodged barely one of the arrows. Before another soldier could try to shoot him, his saber suddenly ignited. He repetitively swung his weapon in the air, creating powerful fire gusts. He threw them on his enemies, who were completely carbonized by them.

While he turned his head, he saw his companion Marcus. He was the one who warned him about the three archers. His ally was taking care of the wounded in their camp. The warrior approached him, still holding firmly his saber.

"Where's Oliver?"

"He stayed in front of the castle, with the other rebels." Marcus answered.

In the distance, Frederic could see a lightning stroke on the ground, which resulted in a powerful smash.

"Our army is too small." his companion continued. "The king sent the reinforcements to his own army, so we're at a disadvantage."

The warrior looked at his weapon. The jewel on the handle suddenly turned into a reddish orange color while he put his saber into his scabbard. Clenching his fists, they ignited. The flames were the proof of Frederic's will to never give up fighting.

"Not if I go back. I'll take care of the nobles later, defeating the king is the priority. This revolution must not fail!"

He climbed over the dead corpses and ran toward the battlefield, while Marcus stayed to take care of the wounded. The warrior discovered with a heavy heart the bloodshed in front of the castle. Upon seeing the battlefield, he regretted leaving it. The carnage was now much worse.

When he saw a rebel on the ground, he wanted to go save him. Frederic threw multiple fireballs on the enemy soldiers, before he unsheathed his saber. After that he tried to help his ally to get back on his feet, the warrior noticed that it was too late. He was already dead.

Frederic suddenly felt pain in his back, at two spots. One of them was in his spine. When he lowered his head, he could see an arrow piercing his belly. He lost all his sensations in his legs. The warrior fell on the ground, after he dropped his weapon. He saw in the distance Oliver, who was struggling with a lot of enemies. Worried for his friend, Frederic crawled hardly to retrieve his saber. By the time he reached the handle, he felt an intense heat inside of him and smelt an ash scent.

The jewel on his saber suddenly became yellow.