Pyra: Hey, guys, Pyra Moonsword here and you get to help me with my newest fic! Ain'chu lucky! So here are the rules: I list characters from Lord of the Rings and characters to portray them. You pick who plays each LotR character and then, in the end, I write a play version of LotR, using the people YOU selected. Got it? Ok, then, let's begin. But first.*prays* Oh, Great Ladies Thalia and Calliope, please help me too write a good, humorous, fanfiction. Thank you.

Damien: *appears* *bows* And I am Damien, Lady Pyra's faithful personal Muse.

Pyra: First we start with the Hobbits

Frodo Baggins

Usagi (Sailor Moon): *walks out* *looks at script* "I must" *trips* Owwwww!!! Vote for meeeee!!!

Everyone else: *busts out laughing*

Makoto (SM): *looks at script* "I must destroy the Ring!" I should get the lead because I have such a big.uh.resume

Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh!): "I must destroy the Ring" Please vote for me! *Yami takes over* I will duel you for the role!

Vegeta (DragonBallZ): *forms ki ball* Why am I doing this? Oh, yeah, to beat Kakarot. (Pyra: how do you spell that?) Vote for me or die!

Goku (DBZ): Hi! *waves* Is this Frodo guys strong?

Pyra: Just read the script Goku.

Goku: "I must destroy the Ring!" *looks at Pyra* Why can't I just crush it? A ring can't be tougher them Cell.

Miaka (Fushigi Yuugi): *studies script* This is hard! *sees All-You-Can- Eat buffet* *ignores script and begins wolfing down the food*

Damien: Do you think we should stop her?

Pyra: No. Maybe she'll choke to death.

Tamahome (FY): Before I try out, I want to know one thing. Do I get paid? *sees Miaka* MIAKA! It doesn't mean you eat all of it!

Miaka :*starts choking on a chicken leg*

Tamahome: *does Heimlich, saves Maika*

Pyra: Damn.

Miaka: *hugs Tamahome*

Bilbo Baggins

Queen Serenity (SM): Excuse me, Pyra. Why do want me to play some old guy?

Pyra: Just read the lines

QS: *blandly* "I am going. I am leaving now. Goodbye."

Grandpa (SM): *looks at QS* *looks at Pyra* Goodbye! *follows QS*

Grandpa (YGO): I would like to say that I will attempt to win this audition fairly and will trust in the heart of the script.

Pyra: *sweatdrops*

Grandpa (YGO): "I am going. I am leaving NOW. GODDBYE!" *leaves*

Tai Itsukun (FY): I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOODBYE! *vanishes into thin air*

Samwise Gamgee

Chibi-Usa (SM): "Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo! Hang on, Mr. Frodo, your Sam is coming to help you!" Could Mamoru be Frodo?

Pyra: No, but he gets to audition for Sauron.

Chibi-Usa: Oh. Yay! Mamo-chan is coming!!

Tasuki (FY): *has had too much to drink* *puts on high-pitched girly voice* "Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo! Hang on, Mr. Frodo, your Sam is coming to help you!" Whadda wimp. I wanna win this just so I can have some fun.

Yui (FY): "Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo! Hang on, Mr. Frodo, your Sam is coming to help you!" *Tatsuya in the audience claps enthusiastically, as does Suboshi. Both glare at each other*

Chichi (DBZ): "Gohan! Gohan! Hang on, Gohan! 'Kaasan is coming to help you!"

Pyra: Frodo, Chichi-san, Frodo, not Gohan. He can take care of himself.

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins

Chibi-Usa (SM): I want it, I want it!

Pyra: Perfect! Perfect Chibi-Usa!

CU: But, I didn't even read the script yet, I was yelling at Usagi because she won't give me a donut.

Miaka (FY): *is crying because Tamahome took some of her food away* Give it to me!

Pyra: Wow, I don't know who's more convincing, Miaka or Chibi-Usa.

Damien: They both have natural talent for this sort of role, don't they?

Yui (FY): *pulls Tamahome's arm* He's mine!

Miaka(FY): *pulls Tamahome's other arm* No, he's mine!

Yui and Miaka: *pulling Tamahome's arms* MINE! NO MINE! NO MINE!!

Damien, Tasuki, and many of the other guys: *feel sorta bad, cause no one fights over them*

Hamwise (Gaffer) Gamgee

Pyra: Before this audition begins, would anybody mind telling me what a gaffer is? *crickets chirp* No one? Drat. Now, first up for is audition is..*looks at list* WHAT?! Nobody signed up for Gaffer? Oh, come on! Well, someone just gotta tell me who can play the Gaffer.

Gaffer (LotR): I could be Gaffer.

Pyra: No, you can't. You can't play yourself, and you're not an anime character. It's against the rules.

Gaffer: Oh. Well, if you need me.

Meriadoc (Merry) Brandybuck

Pyra: *looks at list* Oh, sure, we have tons for Merry and Pippin, but no one for The Gaffer. Hmph

Minako (SM): "We'll take the Bucklebury Ferry" Hey, that rhymes! Bucklebury Ferry, Bucklebury Ferry!

Makoto (SM): I can do better. *does same as Minako*

Nuriko (FY): *looks at Minako* I can do better than that. *does the same as Minako and Makkoto* Hey, it does rhyme! *Minako, Makoto, and Nuriko go off skipping and singing*

Seto Kaiba (YGO): I'm going to kill you Pyra. I refuse to do this.

Pyra: ^__^ You can't kill me. It's against the rules. And you're already auditioning.

Seto: No, I'm not, I haven't read the script yet.

Pyra: Doesn't matter. People can still vote for you.

Seto: Fine, but I'm only doing this to beat Wheeler. (Monotone) "We'll take the Bucklebury Ferry."

Joey (YGO)(AN: Using American names because many people know them by those names, but I might use the Japanese ones later, cause I like them better): *seems slightly hyper* I can't let Kaiba beat me! "We'll take the Bucklebury Ferry!"

Tristan (YGO): I'll win to impress Serenity! "We'll take the Bucklebury Ferry!"

Tasuki (FY): More fun! "We'll take the Bucklebury Ferry" *is drunk* I like fairies.

Goten and Chibi Trunks: *do dialogue between Merry and Pippin*

Peregrin (Pippin) Took

Goten and Chibi Trunks: *do exact same thing as last time, but switch roles*

*the entire thing goes similarly to the Merry audition, just with slightly different dialogue, but more or less the same people, but I'm just too lazy to type much more*

Ok, so vote. And you can also vote for characters I didn't have audition, if you really want to. And I might use them. Yay. Next up: The Elves. Not Keebler Elves, but if you review, you can have some Keebler Elf Cookies. *offers Keebler Elf Cookies to reviewers* Oh, and guys, I'm sorry about any problems with this. I hate my Internet.