A/N: Had an idea for a story like this so I'm gonna run with it! I used my OC from my other stories, Angel, but that's it. To all my readers who have read this story before, thanks! To all the new readers, welcome and I hope you enjoy the ride!

Disclaimer: I own no one from the WWE and/or their families. I only own my OC Angel.

Randy's POV

Assignment: Who are you? Describe yourself as you want to be remembered by future generations.

There it is. My first assignment on my first day of therapy and already I've drawn a blank. I guess the first thing I should do is type the word "pessimist" because my first thought was, "Why the hell would any future generations want to remember me?"

So, who am I?

1) My name is Randal Orton, but please call me Randy.

2) 35 year old Superstar. Yes, I said Superstar. I'm not conceited. I wrestle for the best company in the world, the WWE, and that's literally my job title.

3) A Dad to two perfect children; a 7 year old daughter named Alanna and a 7 year old son named Angel. No joke. My kids are beautiful, brilliant and caring. They really are perfect. Like their Daddy. No, just joking.

4) A widower.

Please don't let my attitude fool you. I'm not some rich star trying to decide over Prada or Gucci. I also don't walk around with an iPhone stuck to my ear all day. I am well off financially, but I've worked hard to get there. I'm not a snob, though. I may be a little cocky because I'm confident in the things I do. I'm proud of my talent. I also know I am a great friend, a great Dad and was a wonderful husband. Yet, I'm still one of the most insecure people ever. Confused? Yeah, me too.

So, back to my life. I'm 35, a dad, and widower. So, to add more pressure to that, let's go to therapy to work out my issues! I guess the only reason I decided to go was because my thoughts were killing me. I needed to distract my mind somehow, and unfortunately I couldn't play with my kids 24/7 because they insisted on getting sleepy. I've also been the green eyed monster lately when it comes to my two best friends. They have an amazing life; not yet married but we all know its heading down that road. They're so in love and happy. I hate them. Again, just joking.

So, why were my thoughts killing me? My husband, John, died 2 months ago. Confused again? Not me this time. I'm Randy and my husband was John. In case you're still frowning, you must be slow so I'm going to spell it out for you; I'm gay.

I married Alanna's mom when I was very young. It was a huge mistake because I knew deep down in my heart I wasn't meant to be with a woman. I just wanted to do what was expected of me. It was a mistake in many ways but mostly because I hurt her. She's a great woman and I'll always regret making her waste those years with me. It was a big mistake but taught me a great lesson; stop hiding your true identity. It also gave me the greatest gift of all in my daughter. So, I can't ever truly regret it. Thankfully, we have become great friends over the years.

After John and I were together for awhile, we adopted Angel together. He fell into our laps after living a very difficult life for the first 4 years of his life. I'm proud to say John and I were able to give him a much better life and he's an amazing kid. I thank the day I laid eyes on him. In my eyes, he's just as much my child as Alanna is. Screw the term "adopted".

So, 2 months ago my whole world changed. I went from being in a happily committed relationship with a man I married (though it's not recognized in most places, of course) to being a walking shell just going through the motions for everyone else's sake.

John was not only my husband; he was my best friend. We met when I came to Louisville to train to be a wrestler. I don't know anything about him, but I know I fell in love with him the first time he smiled at me. His smile lit up the whole room. He had these dimples and when I saw them, my stomach dropped to the floor. For me, that's a good sign. He always told me he fell in love with me because of my eyes. I never got that. Most people will tell you my eyes are my best feature but not for the reason John said. My eyes tend to look a bit on the cold side which bodes really well for the character I play on the WWE. John, for some reason, always said my eyes were warm and full of love. He said he saw that the first time he looked at me. Apparently, my eyes laughed at him.

For a long time we were just friends; best friends. Hell, he came to my wedding. He was the first person who received a picture of newborn Alanna. I relished in the fact that we were so close. We knew everything about each other; could communicate without words. We had completely opposite personalities but the same sense of humor. We argued about what the best clothes were (his style was horrible) and what was the better type of music; rock all the way for me and hip-hop for him. Despite it all, we wanted to spend every single minute together and we could even finish each others sentences. Seriously, we made people sick. After a few years we became more and it was even that much more amazing. The way he treated Alanna as his own daughter made me adore him. It was no question I wanted to have another child with this man. He was the best father to these 2 kids. I could only attempt to be like him.

Now, he's gone. The love of my life is gone and all I do is think or dream of him. All my friends are here for me, but I know they need to grieve themselves. We were all a family but I'm not gonna dump my problems on them. They have their own. I have an amazing family and family-in-law, but like I said, everyone needs to grieve. I need to stand on my own with this for awhile.

So, I guess that's why I feel pessimistic. My life isn't interesting like you see on TV; it's sad and depressing. You might disagree. I have a great career, family and friends. I'm well known over the world and can buy anything I would ever want. Whatever. That's so not important. I would give it all back in a second to have just one more hour with my husband.

I guess to understand my feelings you have to know my story from the beginning…

A/N 2 (March 2014): Going over this story and fixing errors and such. Forgive the craziness you will see for a bit...