Disclaimers: I owe absolutely nothing of "Supernatural" and am making no profit from this fic.

DREAMLESS

"I, the one who couldn't step off that ship,

stepped off my life in order to save myself.

Step after step. And every step was a dream. With every step, I'd say goodbye to a dream.

My dreams were tearing my soul apart. I could have lived them, but I wasn't able to.

So I charmed them.

And one by one, I've left them behind."

(Translated from "Novecento", by Alessandro Baricco, the monologue the movie "The Legend of 1900" was based upon)

Dean is dreamless. Sam is sure of it, and it pains him. Because Dean is smart, and he could do so much more than hunting ghosts and demons driven by an obsession that isn't his own. Because Dean deserves so much more.

Sam has tried many times in the past to talk to Dean. To pry into his head and discover the dreams that at the time he was sure his brother kept hidden. When he had understood that they just weren't there, Sam had suddenly felt cold. That's when he stopped trying to see and had started trying to make Dean see.

Sam has tried many times in the past, to convince Dean that he should have dreams of his own, that his life isn't supposed to be about hunting, that there's got to be more.

Sam has tried many times in the past; he's still trying; and he'll continue to try until he can see Dean's eyes sparkle with the light of a dream.

Dreamless. Dean knows that's what Sam thinks he is.

He's never going to tell him, but it's not true. Dean has not one, but two dreams that are begging to come true. Two dreams beating so strong inside his chest that sometimes they threaten to break it.

One of them is impossible, and it's for Sam's innocence to come back. Is for him to squeeze his little brother's shoulders and say, "Sammy, don't be afraid of the dark", and for them not to be empty words.

It's a dream he's always had. Always, since that night of twenty years ago. To be able to protect Sam by everything that lays out there, and at the same time keep him unaware of the darkness.

Dean knows that this dream can't be fulfilled, and it tears him apart everyday.

Then there's the other dream. The one that's the source of the only hope he's ever known, and it's for Sam to be happy. It's for Sam to have the life he wants, it's for him to look into his brother's eyes and see them sparkle with happiness. He wants Sam to be safe, and he wants Sam to be at peace.

Dean will never give up on his dream.

Every dream he's ever had, he'd let them go. And he would let go of every dream that should come up in the future, because he can't afford to give in to them. But not of this one. Never of this one.

And Sam will never know, but his brother isn't dreamless.

END

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