So the original plan was for "First Date" to come after "Bachelorette Party" but for some reason Fox decided to swap them. I decided to do a story about what happens in between those two episodes so just pretend Fox had actually aired them in the original order as you read this. Also, I'm including the scene they cut out in "Bachelorette Party" about Jess looking at Nick's penis on her phone and him walking in on her, aside from that though, the rest of the story is mine. With that said, I don't own New Girl, obviously.


After CeCe had left and most of the mess was cleaned up, Jess went to her room to change into some pajamas and get ready for bed. She had her phone in her hand and fully intended to put it on her nightstand and charge it but she had to do something before she did that. She had to look at the PICTURE one more time. She opened up the text and there it was-the picture of Nick's penis. Her thumb lightly stroked the phone screen and she began to zoom in and zoom out while silently giggling to herself. Of course she had seen it before when she walked in on him doing his naked dance awhile back but that had only been for a second and she really didn't remember what it looked like. But now, she could look at it anytime she wanted.

Her door opened and Nick walked in. Jess gasped and threw her phone across the room.

"What were you doing?" Nick asked, a confused look on his face. He glanced in the direction of her phone that was lying partially on the ground and partially on a throw pillow. "Jessica Day! Were you looking at that picture again?"

"Why shouldn't I Nick?" she said defensively, "You definitely have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed of it! I just think it's weird that you find it so fascinating," he tried to explain. This was definitely becoming a high number on his list of weird conversations.

"It's weird to you that I like your pae-nisss?" she was struggling with the word "penis" again because it was Nick's penis for crying out loud and the fact they had almost had sex recently was quickly making it difficult to talk about.

"I thought you could say "penis" like a real person! What happened Jess?"

"I can say it! I just stumbled on the word!" she lied, "PENIS! Penis, penis, penis! There! Are you happy?"

"A little bit," he grinned, "Seriously though Jess, why is it such a big deal?"

"Maybe because the picture is all I have! We almost had sex not too long ago and ALL I think about is you and your mouth on mine and your hands on me and you telling me to take off my clothes! We were so close but that damn aquarium broke and that was that! And then your dad passed away and I didn't want to bring anything up then!"

"So what you're saying is, you still want to have sex with me?" Nick was going out a limb a bit but it was too late to go back now.

"Yes Nick! Gosh, what does a girl have to do to get laid around here?"

He smiled wickedly and started to graze his hand on her thigh, slowly moving it up. Her eyes widened and she sighed contently. But right then, Schmidt burst in the door.

"I think I broke through to Elizabeth!" he announced. Nick groaned and Jess tugged at her dress nervously.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Nick asked in an annoyed tone.

"I asked her to be my plus one and of course she said no. But I sucked up my Schmidt-ness and actually ate some pizza and we talked for awhile and I think maybe I have a chance with her again!" Schmidt rambled in a very un-Schmidt like fashion.

"Who's Elizabeth?" Jess asked. She knew she must be important to Schmidt because she had never seen him this excited about a woman before.

"His ex-girlfriend," Nick answered instead.

"Since when do you go back for seconds?" Jess asked.

"This isn't a new concept, I've tried for practically a year to get CeCe back," Schmidt rolled his eyes, "Which obviously didn't work out."

"Well aside from her. I've never even seen you with a girlfriend. How long ago did you date her?"

"It was back in college, back in fat Schmitty days. She was the love of my life."

"He turned into a douchebag and she dumped his ass," Nick threw in.

"Yes, that's pretty much the gist of it. But now I have to prove to her that the person I was before is still inside, deep down yes, but definitely still here," Schmidt explained.

"Awww that's so romantic Schmidt!" Jess gushed.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Enough about me. What are you two up to?" he asked. Jess and Nick both looked at each other and then at Schmidt, neither of them had an answer.

"I was just telling Nick all about CeCe's party and all the fun he missed out on," Jess lied.

"Yeah. It's too bad guys can't come to these things," Nick threw in.

Schmidt gave them a weird look and then pulled out his phone. "It's after 2! I need to get some sleep."

"Oh yeah, me too. I'm really tired from all the decorating and the party," Jess said as Schmidt left the room.

Nick stood up. "Yeah, I guess I should go to bed too." He knew the moment had been ruined by Schmidt but he was hoping Jess might try to continue things but she was putting her hair in a hair tie and tossing the throw pillows off her bed.

"Night Jess," he said softly and turned around to leave.

"Goodnight Nick," she smiled at him, but inside she felt disappointment. Why hadn't he tried to continue things?