A Little Conspiracy
by Medianoche
(aka The Lady Elizabeth)

The junkyard was quiet and lit with an iridescent light flowing in from the streets. A gentle summer's breeze was blowing in from the sea, a hint of salty water scent filling the air. Only the faint sounds of classical violin could be heard, coming from one of the human apartments.

It was the perfect night for romance.

That is, if things hadn't decided to go so blessedly wrong.

Munkustrap stood silently, taking in the sights, scents, sounds of this evening, thinking nothing could be more perfect. After all, what night would be better than to show Demeter that he liked her? Not just liked her, but liked liked her. He'd been hanging out with her a lot more often and, despite Alonzo's convictions that she was a girl, therefore should not be trusted under any circumstances, found himself actually liking her. The way he imagined Jenny and Skimble liked one another.

The young silver tabby grinned as he watched the object of his affection, a small, delicate kitten queen, prancing about after another kitten, this one a brilliant red. Munkustrap's ears drooped a little bit at the sight of Bombalurina. If Demeter was with Bombalurina, he'd have to work extra, extra hard to pry her away, so that he could talk to her.

He squared his shoulders, starting to march forward, when a ball of predominately black fur barreled into him, knocking him off his feet and sending him flat onto the ground. Munkustrap let out a grunt of frustration as the other tom kitten sat straight up, staring down at him.

"Tugger! You freakin' idiot! What are you doing?"

"Macavity!"

"What?"

"Tugger! I am going to kill you, you little-"

"Hey!" Tugger cried indignantly, still sitting on Munkustrap, keeping the silver tom pressed down onto the ground. "Watch your language! Don't ya know Jenny and Jelly'll kill you if you start swearing?"

Munkustrap let out a snort of laughter as Macavity finally came into view. The ginger tom kitten looked both humiliated and angry enough to tear to Tugger to shreds. His coat was dripping wet, matted close to his body and making him look strangely like the mop that Munkustrap had dragged out of the human's house and left in the rain. Of course, Mistress had a fit, but the Children found in hilarious and the tabby kitten was allowed to still have a full supper that night.

"What happened to you, Macavity?"

Macavity sneered. "Tugger happened to me."

Tugger let out a nervous giggle as the ginger tom cat began to advance slowly. "Hey! I mean, you were asking for it. Sleeping there like that. How could I not?"

"Do I want to know what he did?" Munkustrap asked slowly, glancing between his brothers.

"Does the term water balloons mean anything to you?" Macavity practically growled, then pounced.

Tugger let out a yowl and tried to dart away, but Macavity managed to get a pawful of his mane, yanking him back.

"The hair!" Tugger screamed, falling back and crashing into Macavity, sending both to the ground. Macavity let out an "oomph," then shoved the black kitten off him with disdain.

"Tugger! You're like a freakin' girl!" Macavity growled, pushing himself away from his brother, still sitting on the ground. He cast him a distinctively disgusted look. "C'mon now! I didn't pull your precious 'mane' all that hard." He rolled his eyes. "If you could even call it that."

Tugger ruffled the fur in question, scowling. "It is so a mane. And, besides, how would you know?"

"I wouldn't," Macavity replied simply, turning back to Munkustrap and arching an eyebrow. "Why are you looking so lovestruck?"

"Demeter," he sighed, glancing over at the gold and black queen kitten, who was still in involved in what looked to be a rather complicated version of tag with Bombalurina and, now, Cassandra. "I was thinking about telling her that I liked her."

"Oooo…" Tugger laughed, propping his chin onto his paws and staring at his brother. "Like her?"

"Yeah? Wanna start something?"

"No, not really."

"So, are you going to go tell her now?" Macavity demanded.

"I…"

"Boys!"

The three young toms whirled around, looking startled as Jennyanydots hurried over, dragging two much smaller kittens behind her. They were skipping to keep up with her, both looking a little bit shy and ducking behind her a bit when she stopped.

"Hey, Jenny!" Tugger said with a grin. "Where'd ya find the runts?"

"Watch your mouth, young man," the Gumbie cat scolded, scowling at the young tom. "That's not very nice. Now, I want the three of you to say hello to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer."

"Hello," Munkustrap said with a nod, then glanced over at Demeter again. "Uh, not to sound rude or anything, but is there something you'd like from us?"

Jennyanydots smiled brilliantly. "As a matter of fact, there is. I need the three of you to look after these little ones."

"What?" Macavity asked, drawing back.

"Uh, no, Jenny. I don't do babysitter," Tugger said with a cocky laugh.

Jennyanydots replied with a laugh of her own. "Well, today, you do. Jelly and I are going to see a show and I need you three to do this for me."

"Aw, but, Jenny-"

"No, buts. You're doing it." She reached out, tousled Tugger's head fur, and turned on her heel, practically marching away before the three tom kitts had anything to say about it.

Macavity stared after her in shock, then, tail drooping, he turned towards the little tiger striped kittens, who smiled up at him sweetly.

"Hey! Don't smile at me!" He cast a glance at Munkustrap. "He'll be watching you."

"What?"

"I'm not doing it," Macavity replied, looking perturbed.

Macavity started to walk away, but Munkustrap grabbed his arm. "Oh, no! You're helping, too. I don't know anything about kittens!"

"Like I do?"

"Bomba!"

Macavity and Munkustrap turned to stare at Tugger, confused looks on their faces.

"What?"

"Bomba!" Tugger repeated. "She's a girl! She'll know what to do about… um, them." Angelic smiles from the tiger kittens.

Before they could stop him, the black kitten went bounding over to Bombalurina, talking before he got there. The other two turned to watch, then both cringed as Bombalurina hauled back and smacked him across the face after a moment. Tugger cried out, tucking his tail between his legs, and hurried away. Munkustrap stared at him with his jaw dropped.

"What did you say?"

"I said that since she's a girl, she should come over here and help out since that's what girls are supposed to do and she hit me," Tugger replied, rubbing his cheek. "I don't know what her problem is."

"That's because you're not supposed to say those kinds of things to girls," Munkustrap moaned. "Don't you know anything about girls?"

"More than you," Tugger snapped. "I've at least talked to a girl without blushing or falling flat on my face."

"Well, I've never been slapped by one because I can't keep my paw out of my mouth."

"Yeah, well, I-"

"Hey? Where'd they go?"

Tugger and Munkustrap broke from their argument to turn to Macavity, who was staring at the spot where the two tiger kittens had been standing. Tugger bit his lip.

"Uh, weren't they just there?"

"Yeah, but I turned around and they weren't there."

"Aw, man," Tugger groaned. "We lost two kittens."

"OK, OK, keep calm," Munkustrap replied, looking around. He scratched at the back of his head, turning around in a circle, looking for some sign of the missing kittens. "They couldn't have gone too far, right?"

"Yeah, if we're lucky," Macavity groaned. "Jenny's gonna kill us. We lost them ten minutes into having them."

"Surprise!"

The three tom kittens spun around to see a flash of orange and black dart behind a discarded tire.

"Ah ha!" Tugger cried. "There they are!"

They sprinted over to the tire, leaping around the side, hoping to surprise the kittens. Munkustrap's arms dropped to his sides as he stared blankly at the empty space behind the tire.

"Where's they go? I swear, I just saw them."

"Me, too," Macavity agreed.

"Well, they couldn't have gone too far. After all, they're little kids, right?" Tugger tried to console himself with. "Their legs aren't long, so they couldn't have run too far, right?"

"You'd think," Munkustrap murmured, looking about. "But, they're not here right now and they just were and, I'd think, you'd have to move pretty fast to be able to do that."

"Well, don't panic," Macavity replied. "Let's split up and start looking for them."

"All right," his brothers agreed, and the three tom kittens split up in search of the disappeared Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.


Tugger looked around by himself for a while, before growing distracted and bored. He didn't really wanting to be out here, hunting for a couple of stupid, little kittens when he could be tormenting Macavity or Bombalurina. Heck, even chasing Cassandra around and making her crazy would be better than this.

He sighed and leaned up against an old, wooden crate, placing his paws on his hips and looking annoyed and bored. His ears flicked forward at a small sound and the black, maned tom wandered forward, interest on his face.

"Hello? Anyone over there?"

Tugger took a startled step backwards as the two culprits darted out, staring back at him in equal shock. Shaking his head, Tugger frowned.

"Hey! You two! Get over here!"

"Uh oh, Mungo," Rumplteazer murmured.

"What's up, Teazer?"

"You think he's onto us?"

Tugger felt his stomach sink, not knowing why, but suddenly dreading having been alone when finding the kittens. He smiled weakly.

"So, uh, what have you two been doing?"

Mungojerrie shrugged. "Nothing."

"Oh." Tugger held out his paw. "Wanna come back with me?"

"Not really," Rumpleteazer sighed. "Would you come over here and check something for me?"

Tugger swallowed. "Yeah, sure, I guess."

He wandered towards where the little, tiger striped kitten was pointing. He felt a little nervous and stupid that he was feeling a little scared of a couple of kittens. He bent over, looking into the box where she pointed, then let out a startled screech.

Rumpleteazer let out a high pitched giggled, while Mungojerrie burst into hysterical laughter. The twin tiger kittens fell over laughing, into one another's arms.

"Aw, man!" Tugger moaned, slowly withdrawing from the box.

His fur was now a gray color, having been dumped on by a full dustpan, which the little kittens had somehow managed to steal from the human store near the where they had set their trap. Tail and ears drooping, the egotistical tom backed out, looking horrified.

"My mane!" he moaned, slowly picking out the larger pieces of dust and dirt. "You two-"

He whirled around, ready to start yelling at the kittens, but found they weren't there. Tugger scowled for a moment, then his eyes widened.

"Oh, no!"

He had to find Munkustrap and Macavity before they fell into the sadistic, little kittens' trap, but…

Smirking, he continued walking, looking for his brothers, but more to find them at the butt end of a practical joke.


Looping back around to the junkyard, Macavity shrugged then flopped down onto the old tire. The female kittens noticed his return, turning to watch him lay there silently, then gradually drifted over.

"So, Maccy, did you find them?" Bombalurina asked, grinning broadly.

"Nope. I'm going to let my idiot brothers do it," he answered, his grin equally broad. "They're probably still out there, hunting for the kittens."

"I bet." Bombalurina's grin widened further, but she didn't say anything more. Macavity watched her silently, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"Why are you eyeing me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like… like I'm a great, big slab of meat or something…" he answered. He noticed that Cassandra and Demeter were also grinning at him. "I… I think I should get back to looking…"

"No, don't go back yet!" Demeter cried, making him suddenly very worried. Macavity sat up immediately, his fur sponging out around him.

"How come?"

"Because, we're right here!"

He whirled around to see Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer smiling winningly at him. He started to sigh, then shook his head.

"What's going to happen to me?" he whimpered, staring at the grinning queens with wide eyes.

"You'll find out," Bombalurina laughed.


"Tugger! Macavity! Where'd you guys go? I think I've figured out-"

Munkustrap skidded to a halt, looking around the junkyard in confusion. No one was there. He rubbed the back of his neck, turning from side to side, very confused.

"Hello? Anyone here?"

"Munk?"

Munkustrap turned quickly, hearing his brother's voice. "Macavity? That you? Where are you?"

"I… uh… it doesn't matter. Look, I wanted to tell you that I know why those kittens ran off. It's all a huge conspiracy."

Munkustrap laughed. "Where are you? Stop hiding and talking from wherever you are."

The silver tabby's mouth dropped open in startled shock as the ginger tom slowly crept out of the shadows, tail between his legs and looking humiliated. His fur was brushed flat back and tied around his neck, in what looked to be a giant knot, was a brilliant pink bow. Munkustrap hurried forward, touching the bow in awe.

"What happened to you?"

"That's what I tried to tell you. The girls. They're in on this with those kittens. They've been against us since Tugger dumped one of his idiot water balloons on Bombalurina." He spread his paws weakly.

"What did they do with Tugger?"

"How should I know? I ran and hid after they finished with me. No way was I going to sit around out here looking… like this!" Macavity tried to shred the bow from around his neck then let out a frustrated cry when it didn't work.

"Calm down," Munkustrap scolded, reaching up and using his claws to help tear the bow from his brother's neck. "I'm sure you're overreacting. Surely, Demeter and Cassandra wouldn't be behind this. Bombalurina maybe, but not them."

"Actually, he's right."

The two toms whirled around to see Demeter, Bombalurina, and Cassandra, along with little Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, smiling at them. Tugger was walking behind them, looking a little disgusted.

"Tugger! What are you doing with them?"

"Uh, long story. Basically, though, I have to say that they're completely innocent when the grown-ups get back or else they're going to do to me what they did to Macavity."

Munkustrap swallowed. "What about me?"

Demeter smiled then bounded forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, giving him a kiss on the check. Munkustrap let out a choked gasp, nearly toppling over.

"I told them not to do anything to you since we're friends," she said with a meaningful look.

"Oh. I see." Munkustrap looked around at his brothers, then back to Bombalurina. "Why are you doing this?"

She scowled. "Mostly, because the two of them are the most annoying idiots in the whole junkyard."

"Hey!" Tugger cried indignantly, but shut his mouth when Cassandra shot him a dirty look.

"I bet you didn't know that he-" a jab in Tugger's direction "-has an entire stash of water balloons that he stole from the humans. And, I'll bet you had no idea that the two of them were plotting to ambush us later on today."

Munkustrap shook his head. "But, he used them on Mac. I remember because Mac was threatening to kill him."

Tugger rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding his brother's eyes. "Well, actually, you see… Macavity was going to, but, then I offered to let him help me with ambushing the girls. But, they were eavesdropping and found out and turned the kittens against us." He scowled at Bombalurina, who smiled sweetly at him. "Because they're evil like that."

He yelped when she smacked him. "We are not evil! We are only extracting our revenge on you morons!"

"So, how'd you ensnare them?" Munkustrap wondered, looking down at Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, who were beginning to look a bit distracted.

"Oh, easy." Cassandra bent down and flicked Rumpleteazer's ear. The kitten let out a happy shriek, then raced to hide behind Mungojerrie, who glanced at her in surprise. "They like to play pranks. Getting them on side was pretty easy."

"Yep," Mungojerrie agreed. "Pranks are fun."

"I'll 'pranks' you!" Macavity cried, lunging forward, but was caught and held back by Munkustrap. "Lemme go!"

"So, was everyone good?"

Macavity immediately lunged backwards, darting over to the tire and crouching down by it, hoping to hide himself. Jennyanydots stared after him, shocked.

"Is he-"

"Everything's fine," Tugger said with a grin. "Everyone had a good time and everyone's happy."

"How'd you get so dirty?"

"I… we were playing," he answered with a cringe. Jellylorum frowned.

"In a pile of dirt?"

"Well… you know…"

"Get yourselves cleaned up," Jennyanydots commanded, then turned to the queen kittens, who smiled at her angelically. "Dears, would you like to help me out with tonight's dinner? I'm making a special dish."

"What?" Tugger asked, excited.

"You're not getting any," Jellylorum scolded. "Obviously, we can't leave you boys in charge without something horrible happening. I don't know why Macavity's hiding over there, but I know that it's for nothing good. Probably for the same reason that you're so dirty. So, tonight, no supper for you three."

"But, we-"

Taking Rumpleteazer's paw, Jennyanydots started walking away. "Come on, girls."

Tugger watched them go, then pouted and sank down onto the ground. "This is just great!"

"It's all your fault," Munkustrap growled. "You with your stupid pranks. You started it."

They watched in silence as Macavity slunk over, then sat down a safe distance from them, looking angry and very displeased. Tugger started to ask him a question when the ginger tom growled at him.

"Tugger, don't even say anything. I swear, if I listen to another one of your half baked ideas again, I'll kill myself." He thought a moment. "On second thought, I think I'll just kill you."

"Aw, Mac, it wasn't so bad, if-"

Macavity let out a growl of rage and pounced on his brother, where they promptly began wrestling. Munkustrap sighed and sat down, resting his chin in paws.

Everyday it was the same routine. They would end up getting in trouble then Munkustrap would get punished along with them. After a few minutes, he glanced over at his brothers then let out a snort of laughter. Well, if he was going to be labeled "troublesome" along with them, why not live up to it?

With a cry, he barreled into the wrestling match.


Demeter watched, her lip curled up in disgust. "Wow."

Bombalurina smiled. "I know. It's actually pretty sad, isn't it?" Her smile faltered for a moment, her face looking as though she couldn't imagine how any living creatures could be so... well, stupid. "How do you think we should get them into trouble tomorrow?"

"It has to be something creative," Cassandra insisted, grinning.

"Well then, ladies, we'd better get to work," Bombalurina giggled, leaning in towards her two friends.