Harry sighed. It had been a long day. He got to second base with Ginny. He was planning to break up with her after she put out.
Harry opened up Google Chrome and typed in 4chan on Google. Time to ask /adv/ for help.
Hey /adv/,
I've been dating this girl for two weeks now, how do I tell her I want her to put out? Also, I was friendzoned by this other girl, she's probably a 6/10 at best but It'd be sweet if I scored with her. Thanks in advance.
He made sure to upload the picture of a sad panda he had on his external harddrive for pictures of sad animals of the Ursidae family.
Note to self, Harry typed on his Microsoft word document dedicated to notes to self, find out what an Ursidae is.
Harry sighed and refreshed his /adv/ topic. He had made sure to put noko in the email field so he was automatically redirected, which was sweet. Only one reply:
Summer's here.
Summer? Harry wrote back, confused. There's still a week until break. Even still, it won't be the first day of summer for a while then. Please help me with my gf though.
This time Harry uploaded new meme as his picture. Might as well check /b/ while I'm waiting.
Harry right clicked /b/ and opened a new tab of it. "Oh yay," Harry said out loud. "Just in time for a 9gag gore raid."
Harry knew that both Ron and Hermione browsed 9gag and it astounded him. He was butthurt enough over them being Redditors, but 9gag was too much. To teach them a lesson he got on both of their computers when they were out snogging and filled their "FUNNY PICS FROM 9GAG" folders with porn viruses. It would be a few more days until they noticed, and when they did Harry would tell them that 9gag was what gave it to them and that they would have to wipe their harddrive.
And a few months after that I'll tell them to make their computer faster all they need to do is delete system 32.
Did Harry care that their homework would be deleted? No. Dumbledore emailed him with all the latest hacks and Harry knew he was ballin so far when it came to computers.
After Harry helped spam gore on 9gag he browsed /b/ for a few more minutes. He never went on /r9k/ because they were pussies, and he stayed away from the porn boards unless he was fapping.
A picture caught his eye.
Next to it was a bit of text.
It read:
Greetings fellow /b/ros,
My name is Voldemort. I am out to destroy the one known as Harry Potter. Sauce on him please.
The picture was of Harry dueling Voldemort in his fourth year, but instead of a wand there was a photoshopped penis in his hand.
Harry got sweaty. "He has...he has...skills."
In the next post, Harry got even sweatier.
OP here. I'd also like sauce on Albus Dumbledore, I believe there are some leaked photos of him and Gellert Grindelwald in the underground internet, but for security reasons I cannot use .tor. This is the only pic of Dumbledore I have; can you get more like this?
Dumbledore was in the Quidditch locker room, obviously very young, and was shirtless and licking up the pole of a broomstick.
Harry quickly scrolled back up and typed furiously a reply.
Requests go in /r/, newfag! I bet you don't even know how to triforce. Go google the video "peeking virtue," you're probably into that nasty shit.
Harry sat at his desk and furiously refreshed the page, eager for a response.
It wasn't long before he got one.
OP here. Thank you anon for showing me that video. I came twice. Now, would you happen to know the wherabouts of Harry Potter?
Harry typed in "faget" over and over and just spammed that. After that he closed the tab and shut his computer down, hoping no one would give Voldemort sauce. "I'm just glad he didn't say he'd post pics of my dead body; OP might have delivered."
As Harry crawled under his covers, he reached over and pulled out a pic of his favorite thing to fap to.
It was best to end the day with Perfect Girl.
