I can't do it again. I went through it once, and got nothing but heartache. You'd think I'd learn. I need to get a grip. I can't like Matthew. I can't fall for my best friend. I see the way he looks at me, when he thinks no one's paying attention.
I try to discourage him, I realy do. I tell him I'll never fall in love. I tell everyone that. But it doesn't stop West from giving me those pitying looks when I mention going over to see Mattie. That doesn't stop Francis and Antonio from grinning like maniacs when I say I was with him. They just smile and say "Oh, we understand. You love your little birdie."
I tell them all the time, that I won't fall in love again.
Wait, again?
Yes. I loved someone before. Or I thought I did. Lizzy. She was tom boyish and violent, and I thought we'd get together and have violent little babies. Except, she didn't like me. She preferred my....friend. Roderich. Of course, tomboyish Lizzy would like the prissy man who spends his time playing the piano. Just my luck.
Of course, neither told me they were dating, so I kept trying to get Lizzy to go out with me. It actually...hurt, when I found out.
Not that I'd say that. The awesome does not feel heartbreak.
But I can't...I just can't say that I'm in love. I refuse to be the pansy again, just to get hurt. Although...I can't see Mattie hurting me...
Ugh! No! The awesome doesn't feel love!
...Or at least...doesn't admit it.
Tada. The second installment. There will be a third, possibly. Where they get together. If I can think of a song that fits....
