DISCLAIMER:I do not own or have the rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters or stories.

NOTE: I saw a gif-set on tumblr with all of the "Have long have you been married?" comments from H50 and I thought, how funny would it be if they actually were married when someone sarcastically asked. This is what I came up with. Short, sweet, to the point.


"How long have you two been married?" the petty drug dealer asked sarcastically from the back of the car as Danny and Steve slid into the front seats. The man had stupidly been peddling drugs in front of the two members of the 5-0 task force and thanks to that stroke of genius was now sitting handcuffed in the back of Danny's Camero as the two partners argued about what to do with their collar.

The partners stopped bickering and exchanged a look. "Uh, four months," Danny said turning to face the suspect, a slight blush to the back of his neck.

The guy in the back of the car laughed loudly and then stopped when he realized that Danny was serious. "Wait, you two are seriously married?"

Danny looked at Steve with an "is-he-kidding?" look before facing the back seat again. "Is that not what you just asked? I answered and now you don't believe me?"

"No man, I just…you don't look like…you're cops and…"

"You have a problem with two guys being married, brah?" Steve asked glaring at the rearview mirror.

The drug dealer backpeddled. "No man, no way. I think it's nice, brah. Four months, that's great, guys. Congratulations."

Danny chuckled. "Thanks."

"I love weddings. You have any pictures?"

Steve's face lit up as he reached up toward the overhead visor. "Yeah I think we have one up here…"

"Steven! We are not showing this clown our wedding pictures. He is going to prison."

"But Danny," Steve whined, "they turned out so nice."

Danny caved at Steve's pout. "Whatever you goof."

"Yeah, you're definitely married."