Big Brother

Summary: John is racked with guilt and it's up to his extended family…more importantly

his new 'big brother' to help him release the guilt.

A/N 1: I wrote the story in response to the challenge posted by Jet. The post calls for a

story where John messes up so bad that Bobby spanks him. This was the second one I wrote for

the challenge. The other being the Fic "Words"

A/N 2: I'd like to thank Jet who offered me the idea after I stated that I'd like to write a

story in response to the challenge but had no ideas. Thank you!!

--

The shrill scream caused him to sit upright, awakening him from his sleep. Even though he was slightly confused with his surroundings in the back of his mind he thought her name, 'Mary'. John dashed out his seat, up the stairs, and into his younger son's bedroom where the scream seemed to resound. When he got there he froze.

On the ceiling, pinned, was his wife…his beautiful, beautiful wife; fire seemed to engulf her. He ran and pick up his son, Sam, from his crib; when he turned around his older son, Dean, was standing there, staring at his mother. Without a second thought John put Sam into Dean's arms and gave them a push. Dean stumbled but never let his grip loosen on his baby brother. Holding Sam close, Dean ran down the hall, down the stairs, out the door, and into the yard; he stopped and turned. Quiet on the outside the boy was screaming on the inside, 'Daddy! Please come out! Please don't leave me daddy!'

Inside the house John hesitated. He wanted to save his wife…needed to save her. The fire was too intense and it drove him out of the room and soon he was following the route his sons had taken moments earlier. Once outside he put an arm around Dean, who continued to hold Sam, and together they watched as the fire spread.

By the time the firefighters and paramedics had shown up John had already retreated so far into himself no one realized that someone from their family was missing. It would have continued to go un-noticed had it not been for Dean crying for his mom.

"Where's your mommy little boy?" Dean looked at the police officer and pointed at the house. All present seem to freeze and stare at the fire. A life was gone…a family was broken…innocence was lost…three destinies were forever altered…

--

John watched as Dean bathed Sam before putting him to bed. Dean never hesitated in the care of his brother. Once done with Sam, he turned his attention to his father. With the ease of one who should much older, Dean got John into his pajamas and into bed too; it was only then did the little boy take care of himself.

With the echo of his wife's scream in his head, John couldn't function…he didn't want to function. Several friends of the family paid for the family to rent an apartment, hoping that John would snap out of it; none knew how the Winchesters were really getting by.

It had been about two months since the fire when Pastor Jim showed up. Dean had taken Sam to the park; he wanted to get away from the drinking that John had started. When Jim first started talking John had been slightly drunk and tried to get him out of the house…but Jim KNEW so much…and so with echo of his wife's scream John choose to believe him. By the time Dean came back Jim and John had the apartment packed…not that they had a lot.

Dean looked between the two adults in confusion. "Hi, I'm Pastor Jim; I'm a friend of your daddy's. You're daddy needs some help learning about some things so you guys…and your dad, are going to come to my house. Is that ok with you?"

Dean looked at the man more closely, "ok." Dean could tell he didn't really have a choice but just seeing his dad doing SOMETHING was enough. Soon the four were on their way to Jim's house where they would stay for a little over three years…Sam was 3 and Dean was 9.

Over the three years that the Winchesters lived with Jim, Jim had helped Dean take care of Sam; not that he had to do a lot. John had stopped drinking at Jim's request but hadn't been able to pull himself out of his grief and there was nothing Jim could do to help him. Though he didn't want to, Jim knew it was time for John to move on; to learn from someone who could finish his teaching and so he sent him to Bobby Singer.

--

When they pulled up to Bobby's house Dean's first reaction was to be scared but with an obvious scared three year old attached to him, Dean didn't let it show. Bobby watched from the door as John got out of the car, grabbed a bag and walked to the house; in the background Dean was grabbing two bags and trying to hold on to his brother at the same time.

Bobby went to try to help but Dean's glare was so fierce he back off. He watched with interest as John ignored both boys and left Dean to take care of Sam. There was something disconcerting about watching Dean taking care of his brother and his father. Though it wasn't his business Bobby decided to try to bring the subject up later…unfortunately later seemed to never come.

By the next day Bobby and John were in the full swing of things. Dean had been tutored while at Jim's so he was able to help his brother start to learn his letters; Dean himself could read and Jim had given him some old school books so he was able to keep up with his studies. Bobby would try to help Dean as often as he could…well…as often as Dean would permit him to.

Six months had passed had Bobby had been able to do no more then watch as Dean took charge more and more. John had started to drink once again…Dean said nothing but the look of hurt and disappointment in his eyes was enough for Bobby to get rid of liquor in the house. When John came home drunk two nights later, Bobby made sure to keep him busy for a week so that he would be too tired to want to leave the house and drink. (1st posting)

--

It was two weeks after Bobby had gotten rid of the beer and had stopped hunting in exchange for work at his garage when he decided John was ready to hunt again. Leaving John working on a restoration project Bobby went to town and brought some papers.

Opening the third newspaper Bobby started reading an article that caught his attention. He looked at the article for a minute longer before calling John to join him.

"What is it?"

"New hunt; there's an angry spirit…seems to kill…women. It's killed four women so far…all of them were mothers."

Not another word was spoken between the two as they fell into a silent rhythm of investigation. It was two days later when the duo got to go on the hunt. Bobby's instructions to John were clear: carry the 'right' weapon, don't separate, and above all Bobby was in charge.

Things had gone wrong from the start. First John had forgotten to pack the weapons but when Bobby searched the trunk he found them…with a smile he silently thanked Dean. When the two finally pulled up to the haunted house John stormed out of the car and into the building. Cussing under his breath Bobby had grabbed the appropriate gun and run after him. "Johnny…"

There was no answer. Bobby slowly made his way up the stairs to the second floor. "Johnny…"

When there was no answer and no visual Bobby went back down the stairs and searched. In the kitchen he found a basement door and went down. "JOHNNY!" Suspended in the air was John.

Bobby rushed to the younger hunter's side; he just barely managed to get him away from the spirit. Realizing that John was not hurt but stunned Bobby quickly took him to the car; the hunt was over for now…the spirit had won and Bobby was pissed.

Bobby was shaking in anger as he drove both himself and John home. He wanted to ask the younger what he was thinking but the anger was too intense. For his part John sat leaning against the door trying to make himself invisible to the older man's anger.

As they pulled up to the house John tried to bolt from the car but Bobby stopped him. "Wake the boys, take a shower, and go to bed."

"I'm fine."

Bobby raised an eyebrow causing John to blush.

"I'm sorry about the hunt but Dean can take care of things. If something were to happen, send them to Jim; he'll take care of them."

"Jim will take care of them? Damn it Johnny! They need you; step up and be a man."

"What the hell do you know about being a man?"

John stormed out of the car and stood on the porch waiting for Bobby to unlock the door and let them in.

"Go work on the car."

"Bobby man, look…they're better of without me anyways…"

"Not now John; just go work on the car."

John left not willing to get into a fight with the older hunter.

When Bobby walked into the house Dean was looking in the fridge. "What do ya need little man?"

"We're out of milk."

Bobby sighed; he'd forgotten that he needed to go to the store yesterday. "How about some pancakes?"

Dean nodded, pleased. He and Bobby had gotten closer over the months and Dean was willing to allow Bobby to take some charge…when it came to mornings he was more then agreeable.

As breakfast came to an end Dean raised an eyebrow at Bobby who laughed. He understood the unspoken question that had just now risen to the young boy's mind.

"I sent him to work on the car. Make sure Sammy doesn't have more then one cookie; your dad brought the wrong kind again."

Dean sighed; Sam loved cookies but couldn't eat the double chocolate that their dad loved. "Yes, sir"

Bobby left the house to help John but when he got there, the younger man was surly and clearly agitated. Bobby took a deep breath to calm his nerves…it was going to be a long day.

--

Sam walked out of the kitchen, cookie in hand. Dean glared at him. "What did I tell you Sammy?"

"It's just one." Sam gave his older brother his best puppy dog expression.

"Not gonna work; you can't have a cookie."

Dean grabbed the cookie and took it back to the kitchen much to Sam's dismay. "Please Dean?"

"I said no Sam and I mean it." Dean gave his baby brother a stern look; Sam looked back with his best puppy dog eyes. "You better listen to me baby brother or you'll be sorry." Dean walked away doing his best not to let the sad eyes best him once again.

Two hour later Dean noticed that the house seemed too quiet. Getting up he started to investigate but stopped short when he came to the kitchen. Lying asleep on the floor, bag of cookies in hand was Sam. Gently and quickly he lifted the younger boy up and took him to his bed; he would deal with the wayward youngster later.

Bobby came into the house and noticed that Dean had his books out. "Everything ok in here?"

"Yes, sir" Dean didn't bother to look up; he was still upset over what Sam had done. Try as he might he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. He felt Bobby coming closer and finally looked up. "Do you need something sir?"

"No, I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine sir…it's just…Sammy disobeyed me today. It wasn't the first time and now I have to punish him." Dean gave the older man a sad look.

"Why don't you let your dad handle it?"

"Handle what?" The duo jumped at the extra voice in the room.

"It seems Dean told Sam not to do something and Sam didn't listen."

"Dean can handle it." John didn't notice the look of utter disgust on the other hunters face.

Bobby wasn't given a chance to retort; John had left the room and Sam had woken up.

"Dean…can I have a cookie now?" Sam looked at his brother expectantly.

Dean said nothing as he took his brother's hand and led him back to their bedroom. Bobby waited a minute before following and standing just outside the door.

"You already had a cookie and I know you did so don't lie about it. I went into the kitchen and you were sound asleep with the cookies in your hand and chocolate around your mouth. I'm gonna have to punish you Sam; you didn't listen to me."

Tears swelled in Sam's eyes. "I'm sorry Dean…" Once again Sam turned on his puppy dog eyes.

"Not gonna work this time kiddo." With that said Dean lifted Sam up and put him across his knees. Taking a deep breath Dean administered eight swats to the younger boy's backside. Sam started to cry instantly and when Dean was done Sam clung to him.

"I'm sorry!"

"Shhh baby…it's ok…I got you."

Bobby left the brothers to their privacy and went to the kitchen and grabbed a can of pop, wishing for the umpteenth time that he hadn't thrown away all the beers. When the two returned he watched Dean give Sam the asked for cookie which Sam took eagerly; he tried to give Dean a smile but noticed that the boy had tears in his eyes. Bobby swore at John in his head…'how could you do this to them you bastard'?

Bobby sat and thought about everything that had happened…he knew John was hurting…knew he was at a point where he just couldn't come back by himself. He closed his eyes…when had the Winchester problems become his own? It didn't matter though…they had and there was nothing he could do to stop it…or was there…?

Though Dean had told him repeatedly that he was not a baby and did NOT need to be tucked in like one, Bobby still went in and did just that. "Dean, you're dad and I got to talk so we're gonna go to the garage so if you need anything, go to my office and pick up the phone and hit the button that says intercom and call for us, ok?"

Dean nodded; his eyes started to flutter as Bobby began to make circular motions on his back. Bobby stayed put for a few minutes after both boys were sleeping. "I'll bring your daddy back to you…I promise."

Getting John to follow him out to the garage wasn't as hard as he thought. "You know Johnny I've been quiet about a lot of things lately. I mean, your family affairs were just that…yours, but I can't do that anymore. Do you know what I witnessed today? No, let me tell you…today I witnessed a nine year old LITLE boy spank his four year old BABY brother. The sad part is that I know that some where out there is a man who is their father. Where is he Johnny?"

John looked down; he heard what Bobby was saying but he couldn't do anything about it. The boys were both…'crap, he's still talking'. John shook his head and tried to gather his attention back to the older hunter.

"…don't ask me how Winchester but you're like a brother to me…a younger brother to me and I think it's up to me to help you."

John looked up at the man with a look of confusion. 'Help me with what'? He was never given a chance to actually ask the question before he found himself bent over a work table and his pants pushed to his knees. He was momentarily glad that Bobby stopped at his jean…that was until Bobby's belt connected with his backside.

John gritted his teeth, determined to take…John stopped his train of thought and turned it to a new direction. 'Why am I just standing here'? John tried to get up but Bobby had him effectively pinned with his free hand.

"You know John, I've been as patient as any man can but I'm done." SMACK, SMACK "You didn't see Dean's face when he and Sam came into the kitchen." SMACK, SMACK "The boy was broken and you weren't there to fix him." SMACK, SMACK "Dean never should have been in that position yet you seem determined to put him there." SMACK, SMACK "I'd start talking if I were you Johnny cuz I can keep this up all night if I have to." SMACK, SMACK

At Bobby's words silent tears began to fall down John's face but still he couldn't bring himself to speak. As the belt fall for what to be the sixteenth time John suddenly yelled, "It's my fault!"

Bobby stopped, mid swing, and forced John to stand. "What's your fault Johnny?"

"Everything…I didn't protect her…she's dead because I wasn't strong enough. Dean will be though. I'm doing this for Dean. I…" John broke down in strangled sobs and Bobby soon found his arms full.

"Talk to me Johnny. I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

Slowly John began his story; how he'd fallen asleep downstairs, how he'd awoke to Mary screaming, how the echo of Mary's scream had never left, and how he felt that he wasn't a good father and so he let Dean have control.

When John started to sob once again Bobby realized that John was still full of guilt…guilt he'd never been able to get rid of. With that in mind he once again pushed John over the work table and began to bring the belt down to meet the younger hunter's backside.

SMACK "Ow!" SMACK "Damn you!" SMACK "Bobby!" SMACK "Ahh!" SMACK "s-stop!"

SMACK "It wasn't your fault!" SMACK "That…thing killed your wife and there was nothing you could do." SMACK "You need to forgive yourself for the sake of your sons" SMACK "If you can't then you'll find yourself here again and again" SMACK "Do you understand?" SMACK

John nodded his head and began to sob. Bobby brought the belt down twice more, stopped, and pulled John back into his arms. He could sense the tiredness in John's cries so when his sobs quieted Bobby led him back to the house. "I'm putting you in my room Johnny; I'll bunk with the boys."

John didn't reply; instead he allowed the older man to ready him for bed and tuck him in. Bobby stayed by his side until he fall asleep.

The next morning Bobby woke and turned off the alarm, that Dean had set, before it went off; he wanted Dean to sleep as long as possible. Slipping out of the room as quietly as he could, he headed for the kitchen to make breakfast.

In Bobby's room John woke up and wondered if he'd been dreaming…then he tried to roll onto his back. With a hiss of pain and the release of a few tears John turned back onto his stomach. 'Definitely not a dream.' A few minutes later he finally got up and headed for the kitchen. In the kitchen John froze, "H-hi Bo-Bobby." John blushed as memories of the night before re-surfaced in his mind.

Bobby nodded back in greeting and pointed at a seat. John shook his head but Bobby waited until John had complied before putting breakfast on the table.

"Where are the boys?"

"Still sleeping; you and I need to talk and I figured it was best we do it alone."

John paled at Bobby's words. He wanted to jump up and yell or storm out of the house but the truth was he felt better for the first time since his wife had died.

"Ok, Bobby"

"Johnny…I can't imagine losing a wife and I'm not going to try to. What happened was NOT your fault; you saved your sons and that means everything. Dean and Sam need you. Dean is too young to be acting like he's your father."

John stared at his hands. Bobby's words pierced his heart and he knew Bobby was right. Dean had shouldered too much responsibility on his young shoulders. He closed his eyes. 'I'm so sorry Mary.'

Bobby stopped talking and waited until John's focus was back on him. When it returned Bobby noticed that for the first time there was a spark of life in the young hunter's eyes.

"You need help, I'll help you; think of my as your new big brother. Life becomes too much and you try to retreat we can go 'talk' in the garage. For now, you have the day off; you're going to take the boys fishing or to the park and get re-acquainted with them. You're their father and it's time to start acting like it."

John nodded his head. "Do they hate me?"

"No boy, they don't hate you. They need you. Go shower while I clean up then you can make breakfast for your sons. It'll be hard but WE will get through this Johnny."

John smiled a real smile for the first time in years. Bobby wanted to talk some more but was content to let it all slide for the moment.

"Thanks Bobby."

Bobby nodded his head at the words. He watched John's retreating back and sighed. A demon may have shattered the family's innocence and altered their destiny…he also gave them another family member…an uncle…and…a big brother.

THE END