Rick can't quite believe his luck; he's spending the evening doing his homework with his best friend just like every one of his normal classmates does. It's almost unreal. But the strange thing is that even with all the Media Immersion homework surrounding him and trivia practice besides, he strangely can't stop thinking about Toby's lips , of all things. The sight of his friend bleeding seems to be imprinted in his brain, part of a vicious circle of violence, leading him to unwittingly recall Terri collapsed amidst bloody rocks and his mother, in the years before his father left, moving through her life imprinted with a changing pattern of fist-sized bruises. It's enough to make him sick, to make him panic, and in an attempt to stop thinking, he quickly blurts out "Does it hurt," apropos of nothing. And because Toby hasn't been obsessing over his own lips, he looks up confused from his homework, blinks puzzled at Rick for a moment before figuring it out.
"Oh, no, not really, not anymore," he says, smiling sheepishly. His eyes drift back down to his textbook.
"I'm so sorry," Rick murmurs. "I…they had no right to do that to you, no right at all." He knows it was his own fault, and that's what bothers him most of all. Without thinking he reaches over, brushes his fingertips gently across the unblemished side of Toby's mouth. "Good thing you already won the contest – I should ask for a re-match," he jokes, grinning at Toby. And then he pauses, because Toby's eyes have gone closed and he's blushing and oh . Rick might not be normal but he's certainly not stupid , he thinks. "I think I understand why you won," he adds, taking about a half-second's worth of consideration, thinking about what he's going to do. He's not quite sure why he does it, but there's something about the way Toby's blushing and it's irresistible and he knows he wouldn't be able to concentrate once the idea is in his head, after all. So he leans in and kisses his friend, right on the uninjured corner of his mouth.
The moment after he's done it, he's certain it's a mistake. You don't just go around kissing people, kissing your friends , especially when they're the only friends you've got, especially when they're boys, especially when you've both determined yourselves in love with Emma Nelson. He's transcended normality here, he thinks; he's screwed this up just like he screws everything up and he's pretty sure he's never hated himself so much as he does right now. Rick draws away quickly, says "I'm sorry!" much too loudly and flinches, waiting for something to happen, waiting for the world to end.
Toby's eyes flutter open. "Rick?" he whispers, a small soft sound. He is still flushed, but seems more confused than angry. Rick rises to his feet, preparing to flee , but Toby reaches out. "Wait, stop," he murmurs – and stop Rick does, stops and freezes and stares at Toby, unblinking. The world hasn't ended yet.
"I'm sorry," Rick says again, "It was a stupid thing to do, I just wanted to apologise for them hurting you and I didn't know what else and…" he trails off, finding it difficult to breathe, thinking about how everyone's going to think he's a queer now on top of everything else, as if they needed more reasons to hate him.
"It's okay," says Toby. "I was just surprised , that's all." He shifts closer to Rick and the textbook in his lap falls onto the carpeting with a soft thud. "It's okay," he says again, and he reaches up, presses one nervous hand to Rick's cheek.
Rick smiles, suddenly – he beams and all of a sudden everything is wonderful again, everything is going to be okay and maybe this isn't normal, but maybe it's something better than normal. He is suddenly filled with the unshakable conviction that everything is going to turn out all right.
