She never stopped caring

By Leah

Summary

Set before the series 3 finale. Ghost Marian visits Guy and explains to him why she rejected him.

Rated PG 15 for a minor sex scene.

Disclaimer

I don't own a bloomin thing. Rats!

Fic is dedicated to all Guy & Marian fans that do not nit pick Marian. Also dedicated to the ghosts of our loved ones.

Outlaws Camp, midnight

"You need to sleep."

The dark haired outlaw jumped in alarm then sprung to his feet, drawing his sword out of its scabbard in one fluid movement.

"You," he breathed.

There she was. Beautiful. Luminous. Dressed in the cream velvet cloak and the white woollen dress he had always liked on her. Thick dark hair flowing past and over her shoulders, covering her chest.

"Why are you here?" Gisborne demanded, replacing his sword into its black, leather scabbard. "I thought I would never see you again."

"I have something to tell you."

Guy's brow furrowed with puzzlement.

"What?"

"I wanted to tell you that I am sorry," the ghost of his beloved whispered. "I could have been kinder. Less spiteful when I had rejected you that day. I was angry. I was angry with you. You had chosen Vasey and power over me ... I so very much wanted to hurt you, Guy."

Saying that, Marian's spirit walked over to sit down on a log. Clasping her hands in her lap, she continued.

"I meant what I said when I told you I would marry you. I had every intention of holding to that promise."

"Til you found out your precious boy lover was still alive!" Gisborne sneered.

"No!" the girl protested with sudden passion. "It would not have made any difference. I had promised you I would give you my hand if you saved the king. Robin's survival would have not been able to sway me."

The anger melted from her sweet face and she became sad.

"Why didn't you kill him?" she whispered, voice cracking ever so slightly. "Did I mean so little to you?"

"You meant everything to me!" Gisborne all but shouted at her. "But how could I be expected to trust you? You deceived me over and over again!"

"For England!" the ghost cried. "Not for me! Not for Robin! For England! And I would do it all over again in a heart beat,"

Gisborne paled dramatically, his rosy parted but not one single word came out.

Without any warning, Marian sprung off the log and marched toward him til she was close enough to cup his face in her hands.

Sweet Jesu! He could feel her! She was so warm! Not cold. Warm.

"But I would have preferred to have you by my side, Guy," the girl added with all the honesty she could muster then tenderly, ever so tenderly, she kissed his forehead. Her silky lips soft against his hard skin.


A memory drifted into Gisborne's mind. Acre, but he was looking at himself.

"Marian-" he began.

"Shh," the girl murmured, kissing the side of his head, "Watch. Learn. Feel."

Gisborne found himself back in Acre. However, this was different. He was not with the sheriff. He was with Marian.

The girl was crouching, waiting. Her blue eyes flickered back and forth.

"Marian?" he said.

The girl ignored him, wiping strands of near black hair from her eyes.

"Marian!" he shouted.

Still she ignored him.

Guy swore with frustration.

'Watch. Learn. Feel.'

What the devil was that supposed to mean?

There was a roar of pain. Marian gasped. She sprung to her feet and ran for the open door way.

"Wait!" Guy yelled, bounding after her. "Wait!"

Only when they were outside of the stone house did it dawn on him that he did not have control over his own body.

"Watch, learn, feel,'

Now he understood. He understood perfectly. He could feel emotions that were not his own.

They were hers.

He felt Marian's fear. Not for Robin. But for the king lying on the ground steadily bleeding to death. And … sweet Jesu. She feared for him. She wanted to get him away from the king. She wanted to get him to concede defeat before Robin had a chance to shoot him. She would not let him die. Not when she had promised him so much.

Everything he had lost and what she knew he craved the most.

Love.

"Guy!" she cried. "Guy, stop!"

Gisborne watched as Marian shot past the dying king only skidding to a halt when standing between him and the advancing, monstrous figure in black leather.

She did not stop for long. Gisborne forced her back by continuing his advancement.

"It's over, Guy," she panted. "It's over."

"Marian, move!" Gisborne rasped, sweat dripping down his reddened face.

"All my life I have been fighting for England!" Marian shouted, refusing to let him have his way. "Do you really think I am going to stand aside and let you kill England?"

"Marian, get out of the way!" Guy bellowed.

He slashed at her with his sword, she skipped backwards so that the blade narrowly missed, cutting through the silky fabric of her white robe.

"Don't hurt her!" Guy shouted at his other self, forgetting he could not be seen or heard, afraid for Marian. "She is trying to help! Don't hurt her!"

The other Gisborne went on advancing. He ran his tongue along his lip, tasting the sweat and imagining the power mixed with Marian's soft, yielding body.

"Don't do this," The girl pleaded with her eyes. "Remember my promise. Save him, Guy. Save him. Dear Jesu, you're breaking my heart."

Gisborne dropped his head. He had been a fool. Such a cowardly fool.

"We're going to get out of this," his other self gasped, still advancing. "I'm going to do this thing. I will have power beyond measure. And we will be together, Marian. We will be happy."

Guy felt Marian's fear change from pain to anger to utter disgust. He closed his eyes and cried out. Her anger. Her pain. All rolled into one. It was too much for him to bear.

Slowly, he sunk to the ground.

'So be it,' she thought. 'You cannot be helped. I wipe my hands off you forever, you pathetic creature!'

"I would rather die then be with you, Guy of Gisborne!" she told him angrily.

"No," Guy whispered, finally coming to a halt. "No."

Marian smiled.

"I'm going to marry Robin Hood … I-I love Robin Hood. I love Robin Hood."

"No!" Gisborne yelled as the other Gisborne lunged toward the girl. "Marian! No!"


The image faded but Guy was not comforted. He rocked back and forth, sobbing into his hands.

Marian gathered in him into her arms, pulling him with unusual strength to her chest.

"Shh. It is over," she whispered stroking his black hair. "It is over."

"I am so sorry," Gisborne groaned against her breast.

"It does not matter anymore," the apparition murmured gently. "What's done is done. And as happy as we could have been, you cannot change the past. We cannot go back. Now I want you to look at me. Look at me Guy."

Slowly, miserably. Gisborne raised his head.

Once again, Marian cupped his face in her hands, pale slender fingers lightly caressing his skin.

"I died fighting for my country, Guy," she told him firmly. "Thank you so much for giving me such a glorious end. I do not think Robin would have allowed such a thing."

Whilst her sensual mouth pressed against his head, the man's heart ached, cracked, and steadily began to bleed.

He began to realise what he had lost. A life fighting by her side. Lying in her arms. Raising sons and daughters together. Looking at England through her eyes. Loving England the way she did. Jesu … He had lost so much. He had lost something more precious then lands, titles and wealth. He had lost part of his soul. His angel. His love.

Profoundly ashamed, Guy pulled away then reached up to cup the side of her face.

"I will never go down that path again," he promised her huskily. "I know now how much my weakness had hurt you. You stayed true to your word and I was much too cowardly and consumed with greed to do the same. Forgive me, Marian. I beg you! I-" His sentence was cut of by Marian's lips capturing his own. Her pink tongue gently, yet firmly, pushing his lips apart.

Gisborne moaned low in his throat, wrapping his arms around his beloved girl's slender body.

Breaking the kiss, Marian leaned over, whispering in his ear.

"This is my gift to you."

Raising her hands, she began to unfasten her cloak.


"Now I have to go," Marian told him softly.

Guy remained in his cot, studying her as she dressed.

"To Robin?"

Marian shook her head.

"He will see me. But not yet."

"Then where?"

Like a melody, a happy smile played upon Marian's mouth. Her large blue eyes danced.

"Heaven," she told him. "Meg is there. She is waiting for you."

Gisborne dropped his head.

"I'll not see Meg again, nor you, Marian."

Marian frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because I am damned," he murmured. "I killed you. I butchered Kate's brother. Because of what I did to my sister. Our mother. I would not be surprised if this is just a cruel dream. A taunt courtesy of Satan."

Marian said nothing for a long time. When she did speak, her voice was grave.

"You have done many wrongs but you are paying the price. There is such a thing as Hell on earth and you are living in your Hell. But soon. Not now. But quite soon, you will forgive yourself for the damage you have done to yourself and some of those around you will find it within themselves to forgive you for the damage you have done to them."

Marian then smiled at him. Another sweet, gentle smile that made Guy feel warm from head to toe. "And then you will see me," she added. "And then you will see Meg."

Tears streaked Gisborne's cheeks.

"Thank you," he breathed.

She turned and walked away from him. As she walked, her body began to wither and gradually fade.

"Farewell Guy," she said.

"Farewell Marian," he replied.


The next morning when they were breaking their fast, Allan A Dale was looking at Guy rather strangely.

"What is it Clapa?" Gisborne growled before tearing into his hunk of bread.

"You seemed to be having a good dream last night," the younger man returned with a teasing leer.

Gisborne snorted.

"You hear things in your sleep, dunderhead," he retorted, reaching for the tankard containing his sour ale.

"I'm not being funny but you were, Giz. Must have been one hell of a dream bird."

Nottingham Castle, the tunnel

Looking down at his body, Gisborne felt a sense of great unease.

The … corpse seemed at peace yet quite broken and miserable at the same time.

"Curious." he murmured.

"Indeed."

Dressed in a grey silk gown and matching cloak, Marian quietly walked over to stand beside him, looking at his corpse with an odd fascination. The pair of ghosts remained in silence for a while until Guy found it within himself to speak.

"Have you come to take me to Hell?"

Marian took her gaze from the corpse to him.

"Do you want to go to Hell?" she asked.

Guy tilted his head upward and laughed bitterly.

"How is that an answer?" he asked, smirking his sarcasm.

"You are so determined not to be happy," Marian said with a slight hint of exasperation in her otherworldly voice. "You believe that you are damned. You have held so tightly onto that belief it has controlled you without you even knowing it. Now you have a choice. You can be happy. Or, you can wallow in your misery forever." She paused for some time then finally added. "It is your misery that made you act the way you did when you were alive. It is your misery that controls you now."

"So … what must I do?"

The look on the girl's face was a good indication that he had asked her the right question.

"Close your eyes. See what you want. Not what your mind wants. You have to look inside your heart."

"You sound like a love sick girl," Gisborne grumbled.

"Your heart, Guy," Marian said, ignoring him. "Look inside it."

Feeling quite foolish, Gisborne decided he would obey nonetheless.

He imagined his home in Locksley. His mother and father laughing and talking beside a roaring fire. Little Isabella playing with a mastiff puppy. And Meg. That wild piece of skirt with the mane of light brown hair and cherubic smile. His ring on her finger. Their child in her stomach, playing knucklebones with Allan A Dale.

"Well done," Marian whispered in his ear. "Now open your eyes."

He hesitated.

"Don't be afraid. Open your eyes."

Gisborne's eyes opened.

"My god," he breathed.

Lady Ghisline spun around. Upon seeing her son she put an elegant, pale hand to her mouth and gasped.

"Mere!" Gisborne exclaimed.

He rushed over to sweep the woman into a strong, loving hug.

"Mon Dieu!" the woman cried as soon as he had let her go. "Mon Ange! Vous est magnifique!"

Marian smiled from where she stood, quietly watching Guy.

'I am glad you are happy,' she thought.

Raising the hood of her cloak, she pulled it over her head and made her way to the doorway. Just before she walked through it, Meg caught her eye.

Marian stopped and turned to the younger woman. The Lady Gisborne.

"Look after him for me," she told her.

A bright, confident smile graced Meg's red lips.

"I will," she vowed. "I will. Thank you, Marian."

The end

Authors note

This was a lot of fun to write. I loved every minute writing this fic. Please note that the French I used could be wrong. I did live in France for a while, but I am not an expert. If it is wrong, I am sorry.