I don't know where i am. All i can hear is the sound of my own heart beating and the many mumbled voices of the doctor. Nine, Four, Seven, All of their voices were clashing in my ears at once. I hear him. I hear him everywhere. High points of his life and low points. It's just a chaos of voices and emotions mixing and moving; running. He's always running.
I hear him talk about these crazy places where the ground is made out of clouds and the sky is filled with these arrays of colors moving through the air faster than we can imagine. I hear the loneliness in his voice; the pain; the loss. All i can see is darkness and fog filled with the running shadows of his past. I keep waiting and waiting for him to come and take me away. Grab my hand in his and tell me that I'm under his protection. He doesn't come.
I'm getting pushed around by forces i cannot see. I can still hear all the voices that must constantly play in his head. Tears are uncontrollably falling from my eyes and i don't know where i am or what to do. It's getting harder for me to see and for me to breath. Then i see him and i know exactly where i am. It's the doctor, but not my doctor. He looked older and his eyes.. They are filled with such darkness and sorrow. He's the man i saw that night when i sacrificed myself to save the doctor. Suddenly i am overcome with fear, i feel a scream coming, but i can't quite let it out. All I know is i need to save the doctor. And then I'm gone.
A small scream must have come out because the doctor jumped. He was with me, leaning against my bed; the only normal bed in a chamber full of bunk beds. "They're cool!" He would say. He always seems like such a child at heart.
"shhh Clara, You're alright" he said calmly while running his fingers though the hair by my ears. I'm still so panicked. It was a dream, but it felt so real. It felt like that night.
"Tell me." i demanded.
The doctor froze.
"Tell you what, Clara? I'm not a mind reader, you know."
"Who is that man?" i asked.
"You were just having a-"
"No!" i raised my voice. "You said he was you, but he wasn't the doctor. What does that mean?" The doctor still hasn't talked about that night since it happened, and then he still told me nothing.
"impossible." he muttered. "He was just impossible.."
"I don't understand." I said quietly. I was getting weaker and more tired by the second.
"That's right, you don' none of that matters now."
He grabs the sides of my head gently and pulls me in. His breathe is warm against my skin; chilled by sweat from me panicking. He slowly and softly kisses me on the forehead and whispers,
"All that matters now is you're with me and you're safe."
He lets go of my face and starts to get up.
"Stay with me." i say, interrupting his movements.
"Please, just for the night?"
"Clara, Clara, Clara." he says smoothly. He moves onto the bed and puts the blanket over us in one quick motion. He's so large in comparison to me, but it's nice. He wraps his long arms around me tight; i lay my head against his chest and listen to the beating of his two hearts.
"You're under my protection."
