Today John was watching some crap-telly. Sherlock was out securing more materials for his experiments. Hopefully Molly wouldn't let him have a severed head. Again.

Maybe Sherlock would come home satisfied with some eyeballs for John to discover later in the microwave. He'd have joined Sherlock, but just yesterday three different people had assumed he and Sherlock were a couple. It annoyed him to no end.

But for right now he was content just watching a thoroughly bizarre movie. Was that Alan Rickman looking like a Ken doll? He checked the TV guide listings Dogma was the name.

The beautiful Bethany had just been attacked by roller-skating teens with hockey-sticks and rescued by two grungy guys. After commenting on those "Mighty Duck Fucks," the taller of the pair introduced himself, "I'm Jay and this is my hetero life-mate, Silent Bob."

"Oh," thought John experiencing a paradigm shift, "Duh." The rest of the movie didn't even register.