Tales of the Coffin Breaker
Story 1: The tell tale twins
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
George was sitting on a stool in the Hog's Head, tossing back shots of fire whiskey like there was no tomorrow. If it were any other day, he would be at the shop, working with his brother Percy, laughing with the customers who came by for a good joke. Not today though, not on the anniversary of the Battle.
'Hey George? You're the best twin a guy could ask for.'
He slammed his glass against the counter and put his face in his hands. He couldn't cry, his tears had dried up so long ago.
"'Scuse me, is anyone sitting there?"
George looked up from the counter to see a skinny man with long, messy black hair and dark tattered robes. He nodded mutely, in the four years since the Battle; he never had a person walk up to the bar and asks him a question.
The man sat down and ordered a fire whiskey, and over the night, as George gulped down a dangerous amount of the burning drink, his companion slowly nursed his. Eventually, it was just the two left in the bar, neither having spoken. The stranger offered George a sobering potion, and finally asked a question:
"If you could bring him back, would you? No matter the price?"
George, having just gulped down the potion, turned towards the man, a dangerous look in his eye. "I'd go through hell for my brother, just as he would for me. Now who the hell are you, and what right do you have to ask about him?" The man pulled out a card and was about to speak when George cut him off, "you're a bloody reporter, aren't you? You lot always come around this time of year; asking questions about Fred and what I felt when he died; if it felt as bad as when my ear was blown off; if I missed my sister and of course, whether I know where Harry Potter disappeared to. You have no right to come on this night and ask me those questions!"
George looked down at the man, having risen from his stool during his tirade. The man still said nothing, and George wanted to wipe the apologetic smile off his face. Instead he turned and marched towards the door, planning on having another drink at home.
"I'm not a reporter, I don't have any questions about the past, and I certainly have a right to ask—having been there."
George didn't stop, honestly he didn't care. He had lost more that night than anyone else. Others had lost friends, brothers, sisters, parents, and teachers. He had lost his other half, he had lost–
"I can bring him back for a reasonable price."
George froze and turned around, walking straight back to his stool, sitting down, and snatching the card out of the man's hand. He read before starring at the man, suspicion in his eyes.
"All it says is 'Coffin Breaker.' He muttered, growing even more aggravated when the man's grin widened.
"You could say I'm a kind of necromancer, except instead of rising spirits, inferi, skeletons and such ilk, I bring people who died before their time back… for a reasonable price."
"Oh a reasonable price you say?" George growled, almost rising from his chair again. "And what is that price? Servitude? Human sacrifice? My soul?"
The man laughed, taking a sip of his drink before shaking his head. "Nothing quite so dreary." He said, still chuckling. "For a dark soul, that might be enough, but for a soul bathed in light and kindness? I would think not. What I will take is something of value, great value actually, and in exchange, I shall return your dear brother from the grave."
"So what is it I have to give up than?" George said, still not trusting the man at all. "My joke shop? Should I sign it in your name?"
"Merlin's pink wand no!" the man shouted, hands waving frantically. "I couldn't think up a good idea for a joke product to save my life! No, I'll take something much more… personal. I'll take something of yours that is beautiful and infectious, that every child has, but few adults properly remember how to achieve. I'll take your laughter."
"… Are you sure this isn't a bad joke?" George said, not completely understanding. 'How would one even go about taking someone's laughter?'
"I assure you, this is no joke, just tell me yes or no, and the arrangements can be made." The man spoke softly, as if sharing a secret.
"Are you kidding?" George said, holding out his hand. "I'd go through hell for my brother. If you can do this, do it now."
The coffin breaker smiled. "As you wish." He stated simply snapping his fingers, causing sparks to fly out.
George waited for something to happen, but all that occurred was the man getting up and walking out the door. He stopped briefly and in a barely audible voice said, "This is the last time we'll meet in this capacity, or possibly ever again, George. Never change, never grow up, and never stop smiling."
George, depressed by the horrible joke that had been played on him, got drunk again, sobered up again, and headed home. The entire way he muttered about conmen and insane vagrants. He opened the door…
And was promptly knocked over by a bear hug.
Disoriented he looked up and was slightly confused. "How does a mirror go about hugging someone?" his thoughts made into word.
"Forge! Don't go calling me a mirror! We both know my dashing good looks far outweigh your 'holiness.'" The 'mirror' said indignantly.
George was gob smacked. There, breathing, large as life, stood his twin brother Fred. Seeing this, he did something he hadn't done since the funeral. Grabbing his brother in a tight hug, head upon his brother's shoulder,
He cried.
He cried for almost an hour before finally managing to get a question out. "But!... how!"
Fred smiled, not the devilish smile they usually wore, but a soft smile few ever were lucky enough to catch. "You're the one who made the contract, you tell me."
George didn't say anything, instead, he just held his brother tightly. The entire night he told his brother about everything that had happened, sparring no detail. As dawn finally approached, George made a flu call to everyone he could find, telling them to meet at the flat above the joke store.
For the next week, the Weasley clan (and honorary members) took a mini-vacation, all of them breaking into tears upon seeing Fred. They spent the entire week hosting a party for his 'return from beyond,' telling jokes, partying and laughing. Afterwards the twins and Percy reopened the shop, filling it with laughter and joy. The only oddity, excluding Fred's miraculous return from the grave, was George.
From the day Fred was revived onward, George never laughed. He would smile like a devil, laughter in his eyes, but he would never laugh. When asked, a statement he felt wasn't his came from his lips.
"Laughter was the price of one amazing life. I would give thousands of thousands more for the one who I am incomplete without."
He would then take a Chicken Chowder and slip it into Fred's meal.
