A/N: Oookay. Herp derp and all that jazz, my ADD is in full swing so here is a collection of filler oneshots ranging from SR1 all the way to the fourth featuring timeskip scenes and whatnot that won't make it into my stories. Cuz…shit, timeskips in the game suck if they don't have an explanation, and something has to happen when you have all that down time in between missions.

So here's my compilation.

Won't just revolve around my fem-Boss and Gat, but possibly other pairings here and there. Maybe. I dunno yet. I'm making this up as I go. Lalilulelovee has been harassing me, so here you go.

I have so much writing to do…

*puts on sunglasses* Deal with it.


-Chapter 1: First Impressions-


Sometimes I really question the intelligence of the people around me.

Seriously.

I leave for fifteen minutes to go to the store, only to come back and find out we got some fresh meat in the gang. Dex didn't tell me much of shit over the phone, just said its some kid Julius and Troy saved the other night.

I don't give a damn, I'm just going to watch the canonizing. Matter of fact, I'll probably jump in. Why not?

Nothing gets the blood pumping like beating someone's face in.

But when Dex told me that there was a new kid, I didn't literally think he meant a new kid.

And a girl at that.

We were right in the middle of listening to our leader, Julius, give an impromptu pep rally about the Row. My eyes were wandering through the mass of purple, and then I saw her.

Dead smack in the middle of the crowd, she sticks out like a sore thumb. And I mean…she's flat out puny. Small-boned, petite, whatever the fuck you want to call it. She's the smallest little girl I've ever seen, I don't even think she's in high school yet. She can't be.

Then there's the getup; the little plaid schoolgirl skirt, the slightly faded canvas sneakers and the white blouse with a tie halfway undone around her neck. Definitely not in high school, they don't wear uniforms so she's in middle school more than likely.

And then there's the face, that look on her face. Innocent like a baby deer, big green eyes (they gotta be contacts, never seen a black chick with green eyes that were natural) and totally oblivious to what's going on.

So what the hell is she doing here?

"Yo, who the fuck is this brat?" I sneered, pushing past a few assholes blocking my view.

She's even smaller up close. If I stood by her, she'd probably come to like my chest or my elbow.

Her wide green eyes slowly shifted in my direction, and I almost laughed. They were huge and innocent, I'm probably scaring her little ass right now. Or maybe the crew is; she's surrounded by nothing but purple wearing dudes right now, all older than her and bigger than her.

Its like throwing a rabbit in a lions' den.

"She's the kid Troy and I saved last night from a scuffle with Vice Kings." Julius' voice rose smoothly over the crowd as he gave the brat a quick nod of acknowledgement.

I looked back between him and her, "I know damn well you're not just letting people in like that are you?"

His face faltered a little at the kid, "Well -"

"You already know as well as anyone," I cut him off with a wide grin, "Anybody that rolls with us needs to get canonized."

Julius and Troy shared a look, before nodding in agreement.

"He's right." Troy mumbled dryly, rubbing at his chin, "Everybody's had to do it."

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Dex saying something to the kid, probably being a nice ass and telling her not to cry if she gets hit.

I'm gonna have to talk to him about being nice to the newcomers later.

I eagerly punched my fist into my palm, this was going to be funny. A little unfair given her size, but that's what happens when you go joining gangs.

Ain't nothing nice about it.

"Hold up, Gat, you sit this one out." Julius said sternly, and I all but wanted to punch him for telling me.

"Fuckin' what?" I bit out, I couldn't believe what the fuck I was hearing. Leader or not, nobody in this gang got special treatment during canonization.

Nobody. Didn't matter if you were a female, you didn't get special treatment. You gotta take the hits in order to earn your flags.

"You heard me. Sit this out." He said, looking at me levelly with a stern glare. "Don't need you trying to pulverize the poor girl, she's been through enough."

I scoffed, this was complete bullshit. "Fine. Not like it'll matter when they're done."

So, I stepped back, watching the crew circle the kid like a bunch of animals waiting to strike. She looked apprehensive to say the least, her big eyes were darting around and I'm betting money she's gonna make a break for it as soon as she gets an opening.

After a few moments, someone finally swung. A guy in a baseball cap lunged at her, it looked like his fist was going to make a direct hit into her jaw. She dodged his fist - only by a margin - and her sneaker raised and found home right in his groin.

He yelled out a curse, doubling over in pain, before the kid was gripping his head like a football and slammed his face straight into her raised kneecap. There was an audible crack, and she let him go as he laid on the ground hollering about his nose, blood gushing through his fingers.

I felt the corner of my mouth twitching into a smirk. Maybe the girl scout's tougher than I thought.

The crew swarmed her in that instant, and honestly its hard to say what the fuck happened.

She was ducking and dodging most of it, and she actually duped a few of those idiots into knocking each other out. The punches she did land on some of the guys, I gotta say I'm surprised. That wasn't what I was expecting from the kid.

There was a loud smack, she just full-on slapped one girl in the mouth and the chick's lip was bleeding.

She must be heavy-handed, she hits like a dude.

No…she is heavy handed, considering half of the motherfuckers whose faces came in contact with her little ass fists are starting to bruise up, and a couple are sporting black eyes and fat lips.

Not bad for a runt.

Her form is a little off, throws her shoulder too much when she swings, and loses her balance on occasion but other than that she's good.

Nothing a lil' fine tuning can't fix.

"Alright, that's enough!" Julius' voice rose over the commotion, mostly a few derisive murmurs from the boys about a 'girl scout' joining the gang and the ones on the ground whining cuz they got their asses kicked by the damn girl scout.

"Damn man, ain't seen nobody kick ass like that!" One of them said. "Only one who ever fought like that was Johnny Gat!"

I smirked arrogantly at her, "I did it in half the time."

The new girl was looking somewhere between surprised and amused, a small smile playing up on her full-lips. I spared a glance at her, and I mean, I dunno. There's something kind of devious about her. I can see it in her eyes.

They're bright, really bright, and it looked like she was enjoying herself. Or she might just be enjoying the praise she's getting from a bunch of grown men…that sounded wrong.

I don't know.

But I know that harmless, doe-eyed look of hers has gotta be an act. Aisha makes that exact same face at me when she wants something.

Women, I swear.

I had zoned out for a minute, Julius was congratulating the kid, telling her she earned her flags and whatever. I heard this speech a dozen times already.

Troy had eased over, nudging my shoulder as he slipped a cigarette between his lips. "Whaddya think of the new kid?"

I shrugged at him, ain't much to think of her. "She's pretty goddamn little."

"She's got potential though." He countered, exhaling the smoke out into the air.

I snorted; I wasn't agreeing nor disagreeing, but I ain't doing backflips over the brat. She just started here anyways, she's gonna have to do way more than that to impress me.

A quick hushed whisper wafted through the crowd as Julius stood before us, regally, obviously he's got another speech for us.

"Lets get down to business," He said, his voice strong, "If we're serious about wanting to take back the Row, we gotta let these motherfuckers know what time it is."

A few murmurs of agreement resounded as he continued, "Now, you break it down and its all about respect. Get enough of it, and they'll back off and we'll move right in."

His steely gaze swept the audience, "Got some friends in town that could use some help, so give 'em a hand," He paused with a smirk, "But of course you can always drop any motherfucka' flying the wrong flag, so long as the word gets out that the Saints is on the Row, I don't give a damn how you do it. You feel me?"

A couple of "Fuck yeahs" and some cheers later, we were dismissed and left standing out in front of the church.

She was still there too, looking like a lost sheep.

Yeah, the harmless thing might be a charade, and that probably works pretty fuckin' well for someone her size, but no harm in talking to her right?

I approached her coolly, a smug smile tugging at my lips, "Not bad kid. Not bad at all."

She turned, her eyes lighting up in surprise and catching the few rays of sunlight. I squinted at them; one eye was green, the other was hazel. Made me think of a cat.

"You got a name, squirt?" I pressed, overly shy people tend to get on my nerves easily considering I'm always one to speak my mind.

She stared at me for a moment, intensely, then nodded as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

I stared at her dumbfounded, "Are you gonna fuckin' tell me?"

A big, mischievous smile crossed her face, "Mmmm…." she hummed, her eyes rolling in her head as if in thought, "No. Don't like you enough for that."

Fuckin' brat.

"Look man, all bullshit aside, I might need to know your name later." I said dryly, she's starting to irritate me already. "Y'know, not gonna benefit nobody if I can't warn your ass if you're about to get shot or something."

"You might need to know or do you really need to know?" She quipped with an impish grin.

"What?…Y'know what, fuckit." I huffed, I hate head games. "Your name is whatever the fuck I decide to call you."

Her mouth quirked into a frown, "Fuckstick…"

"Fuck you say, brat?"

She turned her little nose up in the air, "If my name has to be whatever you want, then its only fair I should call you whatever I want."

"Fuck. That." I sneered, advancing on that little footstool and looming over her. She does indeed come to my chest. "I'm Johnny Motherfuckin' Gat, you call me anything other than that I'm gonna deck you."

She smirked at me, "I think fuckstick sounds much nicer."

I already see she's about to get on my goddamn nerves, I feel sorry for the bastard who might be her older brother. Its times like this I'm glad I don't have siblings.

I shook my head, turning on my heel to leave before her little screech of a voice stopped me, "Hey douche bag!"

I grimaced, my blood starting to boil. She's gonna make me punch her. "What the fuck is it?"

That goddamn smirk was still on her face, but it burst into a teasing smile. "Can we go to Freckle Bitch's?"

I looked at her blankly, wasn't she just insulting me like two seconds ago? "We? Fuck you mean, we?"

"Can we, as in you and I, go get some food." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I snorted, folding my arms over my chest. "Oh sure. We can go, I dunno how you're getting there but I'll see ya when you do."

"Asswipe." She retorted, sticking her tongue out.

"Fuckin' brat."

"Jerk."

"Runt."

I smirked, enjoying that scowl on her face as she huffed at me. "I could be nice y'know and give you a ride."

Her eyebrow raised at me, "Oh? Yeah? You're so nice." She said, tone laced with sarcasm.

I shrugged, "No, really, I could…on one condition."

"Yeah?"

"You tell me your name, and I won't call you a brat." I said smoothly, raising one hand up to silence her seeing as she was about to retort, "But, if you don't wanna that's fine too. Cuz' I can't have a no-name mothafucka riding with me. I'm sure you can walk the next 50 blocks."

She appeared to be thinking about it, then she looked down at the ground shyly, "Can I just tell you later?"

Beating around the fucking bush.

"Why not now?" I asked slightly annoyed.

She went back to shifting her weight from foot to foot again, and I'm not sure if I just offended her for prying or whether its something personal.

"Fuckit." I muttered, turning back around and heading to my car which was parked on the other side of the building.

She's a little fuckin' weirdo I swear. I hate kids.

But…I dunno. Not everybody's a social butterfly and she already looks like she don't get out much. I had better get a fucking merit badge or something for this.

I stopped in my tracks, not bothering to look over my shoulder, "You comin' or not, brat?"

A few seconds later, the sound of her sneakers rapidly hitting the sidewalk as she came up beside me met my ears.

She's like a fuckin' puppy.

Her face was one big shitfaced grin, "You're nicer than I thought."

I snorted, "Don't get used to it, runt. I ain't that nice."

"I think you are." She said in a sing-song fashion.

"Oh, trust me, I'm not." I said with a smirk as we headed to my car, "Cuz for starters? I ain't paying for your food so I hope you brought some cash."


Agh. This might've been a tad OOC. Or maybe it wasn't. I dunno. Goddamit. Blame Lalilulelovee for this, she's forcing me into slave labor for this fiction while I write the other one. Blaaarrgh. Read and Review, pretty please?