Words for My Lover

Cruel words spill from my mouth

I try to stop them coming

But still they flow

Like blood from an open wound

Only the one being hurt is you

I'm wounding you.

Gouging out a hollow place in your heart

Wounds that may never heal.

No longer a replacement

The hurt, beautiful face of my lover

Stares mournfully at me

With sorrowful violet eyes

Full of confusion and pain

Shining in the dark.

I tell myself that I hurt you because I love you.

Trying to push you away.

I tell myself that it's to protect you

So you don't become like me

A hollow empty wreck.

But deep down

I know

I hurt you to protect myself.

I can't bear to be hurt again

I'm weak.

Watching the small back of my lover leaving the room

Shoulders drooped, quivering

I want to reach out

Tell you to stay.

I don't want to make you suffer

I just can't help myself

Acting on instinct

From this concrete wall

Around my damaged heart.

Selfishly separating myself from you

To try and ease the pain

But I only cause more

All for a memory

Haunting me for eternity

And I know you could heal the scars

That the memories have carved.

If only I would open up to you.

You could stop the pain.

Both mine, and yours.

But I'm selfish.

I don't want to reopen old wounds

For the sake of a new life

And for my selfishness

We both must suffer.

A/N: gahh i wanted to put paragraphs in this. but noooo it wouldnt let me _ i TRIED to like two or three times but it jus didnt work... anyway i wasnt originally gonna put paragraphs but my mate told me to so... anyway this is like the first thing i wrote that i actually liked, so i thought i would put it up. please review to tell me what you think ^_^