What Hearts Are Made For
By Alasse Fefalas
If he said he wasn't attracted to her, he would have been lying. Ever since the first time they met, he had had a deep respect for her. It couldn't have been easy for her to reach the rank of Colonel and lead missions, especially in a multi-national organisation like NATO. It wasn't that he looked down on women, it was just that he knew how hard it would be to be a woman in charge of a world that men have claimed as their own.
When she barged into the Library, demanding (okay, informing) that she was the new Guardian, he was impressed with her determination and tenacity. It also helped that she managed to figure out how the Professor had a connection with him.
He found it interesting that she admitted to not knowing what a synesthete was - she didn't seem to be the kind who would do that. In Munich, he had deliberately ignored her when she whispered his name fervently, wondering what she would do if none of them turned. When she took off to handle the Serpent Brotherhood team while he and his LITs figured out the clue from the painting, it made him like her even more (not that he was ever going to tell her).
He felt the slight sizzle of connection when she reciprocated his opinions of the job and its consequences. It tugged on his heart, a small sensation he hadn't felt in six years. He hadn't meant to describe her as a henge (nor key for that matter), it's just that his train of thought had crashed to a stop when he saw it.
He was stunned (and slightly alarmed) that she had managed to get a read on him after he was stabbed. She was right. He was hiding. Hiding from the pain, from his loss, and from his fear that finally after all the years of being a Librarian and the magic he had experienced and learnt, he would meet his end. And she knew that after knowing him for only a few days. He felt the connection grow stronger and mentally, he lamented the fact that they wouldn't have time to get to know each other more.
When he realised what he had just thought, he was shocked. It had been so long since he had feelings for someone again. It didn't help that when he saw her next, after the realisation, she was in a beautiful emerald green dress that accentuated her form and bared her legs, her hair down and framing her face. He couldn't help to be slack jawed when he saw her in the outfit - she was beautiful. His mind was automatically cataloguing everything that he saw, felt, heard and smell even when he knew he wouldn't need it for any future purposes.
He almost kicked himself when he had envisioned the two of them on the dance floor, without the fate of the world hanging over their heads. It definitely wasn't a time to be thinking of such things. His demise was imminent and there was no place for romance for a dying man - not that he wanted any, not after all these years. Their scheduled dance where he wasn't bleeding to death probably would have to take a very long rain check.
When he saw her anguished face as he took his last breaths, he felt compelled to apologise to her to have met her a few days ago and to leave abruptly but he couldn't. His voice failed him before he could and darkness overtook him.
As they flew back to the Annex after he was saved by Excalibur (oh, how much he would miss Cal...), he had his feelings reevaluated for her now that he wasn't immediately dying.
He trusted her. She had stuck her neck out, pulled strings, and dived straight into the deep end for him and the rest of the group without hesitation. After five long years of working alone, it felt good to be able to trust someone again.
He wanted her around. He had gotten used to her presence around him and even if he didn't need a Guardian, he wanted her with him. She understood him, understood the job and what it was like - the pros and the cons.
He was starting to fall for her. As much as he didn't want to, he was. It was hard to admit it, especially after the four failed relationships that he had (technically three - his last one wasn't a failure, she died), that he was starting to invest his emotions in another person. After his last partner and the breakdown that led him to her, he had given up finding love, understanding that the Library would always come first.
When he realised that the Library had sent him three Librarians-in-Training, he realised why she was there. A Guardian was always around for a new Librarian's first quest (and more) and she wasn't his to whisk away and search for the Library with. She was theirs - their mentor, their protector, their Guardian.
The kiss she gave him before he left was seared into his mind, leaving him a babbling mess as he walked away. It wasn't really his fault - it had been six years since he kissed (or was kissed by) someone. He thought he would never experience love (or anything close to it) again, but somehow in her, he did find it. It reminded him of a line in a song he heard so long ago, sang by a vampire with the most divine voice.
"It's what hearts are made for, huh?" he whispered to himself. Smiling, he walked out of the Annex, determined he would make the relationship work this time.
Fin.
A/N: A little nod to Simone (who I really adore and miss) and her song. If you haven't heard it, you should go find "Simone's song". It's really beautiful and is what made me write this. I'm really proud of this one coz I was trying a different writing style. I know Flynn's thoughts wouldn't be as tame as this (he would probably be multi-tasking in his mind) but imagine it as a single thread of thought among the many. I hope you enjoyed it! Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!
