Kogan fic. I've loved Kogan for a long time, I'm surprised I haven't written a fic yet. It's going to be Kendall Schmidt and Logan Henderson instead of Kendall Knight and Logan Mitchell. Rated M for smut and language.


(A/N: Kendall's POV)

July 7th, 2009

When I first saw Logan, I knew we were going to be friends for a long time. Especially since he was a great actor and singer. We were at the auditions for a new Nickelodeon show and I had known Logan before then but not too well.

"I'm kinda nervous." Logan chuckled.

"Why?"

"I'm mostly an actor... What if they change their mind about me?"

"Don't worry, they won't. You have a great voice. They'd be stupid to do that."

"Thanks... you too."

"Thanks."

A few moments of silence passed. We were waiting in the waiting room for them to decide who'd play the new character and we'd go into production right after. Logan, along with two other boys named James Maslow and Carlos Pena had auditioned over two years ago. They finally got the call back and decided they needed to find someone to be the fourth member and leader of the band. I was one of the finalists.

"Hey Logan, can you come in here...?" The casting director called in. Logan looked nervous but he got up and strolled into the room as the door was shut.

After a few minutes, Carlos, Logan, James, and the casting director came out with big smiles.

"Good news Kendall. The boys all decided they worked the best with you, so welcome to the Nickelodeon family." The casting director smiled. I smiled big and the boys and I celebrated.

"I gotta go tell my family we're starting production in a few. I'll be back later! See ya guys." Carlos said.

"Same here." James said.

"Bye Carlos. Bye James. See you two later." Logan and I waved.


Once they left, Logan and I left the building and headed to my hotel room.

"Well, this is great news." I smiled as we got in.

"Definitely..." I grinned. A few seconds of awkwardness passed and Logan quickly turned to me and pecked me on the lips.

I didn't really know what to do then. I awkwardly stared at Logan and he blushed a bright red.

"S-sorry." He looked down, still blushing.

"No, don't be." I quickly replied. I began to blush slightly too. I had found Logan attractive since I first met him. He was a really cool guy but I wasn't sure what my feelings were towards him. I thought I just had a soft spot for him.

Logan smiled.


January 2nd, 2010

The show Big Time Rush had just premiered in November, and it was already pretty successful. We already had people asking for our autograph and whatnot.

After work one day, I asked Logan if he wanted to come over and hang out. He had agreed. We hadn't talked about what happened that one day when we kissed. We acted like it never happened, and it kind of hurt.

As Logan and I walked in, I accidently sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing..."

A few minutes passed.

"Hey, Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"Remember what happened that one day I found out I got the part? When we went back to my hotel room?"

"Yes..."

"Did... Did that mean anything?"

Logan didn't reply. I sighed sadly.

"I guess it did." Logan finally said.

"W-what?"

"Yeah. I liked kissing you." He smiled over at me.

"I liked it too."

"Can I do it again?"

"Of course." I smiled.

Logan slowly leaned in and when our lips connected, I felt a spark. I felt my face getting hot as I smiled into the kiss. Logan's tongue ran across my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I quickly granted him access and let his tongue explore my mouth. The kiss deepened ever more and eventually I was on my back and he was straddling me. Suddenly, Logan pulled away from my lips, kissed my nose, and got off of me.

"That was... awesome." I chuckled.

"Agreed." He smiled and kissed my cheek.


February 14th, 2010

Ever since that night, Logan and I had kissed everyday. Sometimes it got heated, sometimes it didn't. We never went further than kissing though. We had never stated that we have feelings for each other and I thought maybe he was scared. One day, after we had finished kissing, I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked.

"Do you like me?"

"W-what?"

"Do you like me?" I repeated.

"Kendall..."

"Logan, what the hell? I like you and why would you get my hopes up like this and kiss me so much but not feel something?"

"Kendall, I-"

"Are you scared?" I calmed down a little.

"No. It's just a delicate situation."


March 1st, 2010

Logan and I had continued to kiss everyday after that. He still hadn't told me he had feelings for me but he continued to kiss me with all the passion he had in him. We'd hold each other throughout the night, and he'd compliment me whenever he could.

I was in my dressing room one day, practicing a song by John Mayer called Edge of Desire on the guitar. Logan walked into my dressing room.

"Sounds good. I love that song." He smiled.

"Seriously? Same here."

"Are you going to post it as a cover on youtube?"

"Yep, haven't posted one recently."

"Cool." He smiled again.

"Hey, want to sing it with me?"

"What?"

"Yeah... come on, it'd be fun."

"Well... alright." He smiled. We sat down and sang the song a few times before smiling at each other.

We decided to record it and post it on youtube.


May 20th, 2010

Logan and I were still hanging out everyday, doing everything we had done before. We were on tour now though, but we still made time for just us two. I was surprised Carlos and James didn't expect anything. I heard a knock on my hotel room door.

"Come in." I yelled.

Logan walked in, wearing a guilty look.

"Kendall..." He sighed.

"What's wrong, Logie?"

"Don't call me that." He sighed. I was confused and a little hurt. I always called him Logie.

"Sorry... What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry... for leading you on. But I don't feel anything for you. I just have a soft spot for you. I'm so sorry, but I don't think we should talk for a while..."

"W-what?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry." Logan sighed before leaving my hotel room.

I swallowed loudly and then I sat down on my bed. It took some time to process everything, but when it hit me, I cried. I cried hard.

I should've seen it. He never told me he even liked me when I knew I loved him. I knew I did. I wasn't one to just throw that word around. I never told him I loved him though.

But I truly did.


January 12th, 2011

Months had passed since Logan and I had ended things, and I still wasn't over him. We still weren't talking, except when we needed to. I was in my dressing room, sadly looking around the place. That's when I heard a knock.

"Come in." I sighed.

My eyes lit up when I saw Logan standing there.

"Kendall... I miss you so much." He sighed.

"What? Since when?" I growled.

"Kendall, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I do like you... no, I love you, Kendall. So much. I always will. No matter what happens."

"Do you mean that?"

"I've never meant anything more."

"Well good. I thought I was the only one in this situation. But Logan?"

"Yes?"

"Never, ever, hurt me again."

"I promise I won't."

I smiled and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in for a hug. After about a minute of our arms wrapped around each other, I kissed those sweet lips that I had missed so much.

The kiss got heated as quickly as it had started and eventually, we were in the same position we were when we had first started making out.

He was on top of me but he didn't get off, he kept kissing me. He kissed my jaw line. He kissed my neck. He looked up at me and I decided it was my turn to do something to him. I flipped us over and sat him up. I sucked on his neck, leaving a nice hickey there. I began to pull his shirt over his head but he whimpered. I looked up at him and he looked so innocent... so delicate...

"Logan, I'm sorry. We can stop." I said.

"No, it's okay. Go."

I smiled at him sweetly, kissed his forehead and began to kiss him again. I laid him down on the bed, still kissing him and continued to take off his clothes. Once he was only in boxers, I rubbed his erection through his boxers. He moaned loudly and his cheeks were flushed.

I kissed his stomach before I felt hands tugging at my shirt. I looked over at Logan and his eyes were dark with lust... but there was something else in his eyes. I couldn't tell what it was though.

He pulled off my shirt and started to unbuckle my pants.

I moaned when he stopped unbuckling my pants to palm me through my jeans. He smiled and continued to take them off.

Once I was in my boxers, I started to take off his boxers.

"Are you sure Logan?"

"Positive."

I nodded and pulled his boxers off. It was true when I said he was beautiful.

He was the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen.

"Stop staring." Logan blushed.

"Sorry, you're beautiful though." I smiled. He blushed even more as I kissed his nose.

He took off my boxers and I began to kiss him again. He straddled me again. There was a little bit of friction with that move, so we both groaned.

We were kissing still, when I realized something. We didn't have lube.

"Fuck." I cursed. "Lube."

Logan was silent before he took my fingers and placed them in his mouth. He got my fingers wet with his saliva, and watching him do so was quiet possibly the hottest thing I've ever seen. I moaned as he was doing it. I took my fingers out of his mouth and trailed down to his entrance.

I slowly entered as Logan looked uncomfortable. I pushed another finger in as Logan clenched his eyes shut in pain. I kissed his flushed cheek and curled my fingers slightly, searching for that spot.

Logan moaned loudly and his face wasn't so tense. His whole body relaxed. He began pushing down on my fingers.

"Kendall, please..." He panted. I pulled my fingers out as he whimpered. I smiled and lined myself up with his entrance and slowly entered.

I let Logan get used to me before he began moving his hips.

"You can move." He panted. I nodded and bucked my hips up slightly. He moaned quietly.

I bucked my hips up harder this time as Logan moaned very loudly.

"Kendall, fuck, faster." He begged. I couldn't deny him, so I began to move up faster and faster as he started to move his hips faster.

"Damn, Logan..." I groaned. We were both panting and sweaty. Eventually, I couldn't hold it in anymore so I let out a long hollow moan as I came. Logan wasn't far behind. After a few moments, he painted our stomachs white.

We were breathing deeply and I planted a kiss on his lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled.


August 1st, 2011

Logan and I had kissed and made love many times since the first time. We decided not to go public, because Big Time Rush was getting even more successful and we didn't want to mess it up with drama.

James and Carlos had found out and were cool with it. We had told our parents and they were also cool with it.

But something was wrong...

We couldn't stop fighting. Every night would end with the slamming of doors, the crying, the screaming. I couldn't take it anymore. I really did love Logan, but something was terribly wrong with him. He was always so emotional and he would always take long drives through the night. He would barely talk to James, Carlos, or even me. When we did, he'd always make a mean remark.

I didn't know what we did wrong, but I hated it. I was starting to hate him.

On one particular night, Logan crossed the line.

"I don't know why I even kissed you!" He yelled as the argument finished up.

"Fine, if you don't know why you did, you don't ever have to again. Fuck off and never ever talk to me again." I replied sternly. I could feel a lump in my throat. I walked away. I was done.


August 27th, 2011

Till this day, we haven't talked. I hope maybe one day we can start up again.

Maybe we can just be friends again.

Whatever happens, I will never forget Logan Henderson and the impact he has made on my life. And I hope he never forgets me and everything that's happened the past two years.

I hope one day he realizes how much it hurts me when I see him flirting with everything that moves.

I hope one day, he remembers what we had. What we did together...

Cause I know I'll never forget.