Hi Guys! It's me Kenchi, and it has been ages since I did anything and I said that I would... Guess I involuntarily lied, huh?

Anywho, fuck that... I'm unleashing a new story that could be referred to as the new version of Espada Commercials! Only, there is only a very small hint at a plot, the rest of it is pure quality crack-fiction that is nowhere near it's finest!

Now then, it's time for a very long disclaimer...

Disclaimer: The following references both real and fake and/or fictional and non-fictional are not, by any means, an attempt at copyright infringement and are for entertainment purposes only... None of the following franchises, mentioned or adhered to are owned by me... In other words, shit happens...

Enjoy!


Vs Tepig!

Ash: Alright, I'm gonna go on yet another adventure! I'll catch an almost identical pokemon team to the one I have last season, only with shiny, brand-new, pokemon that we've never heard of before, but act just like ones we've seen before!

Ash's Mom: …

Ash: (Jumping about happily) Later!

Ash's Mom: …

(Ash leaves)

Ash's Mom: … If I tell him to go play in traffic, something could run him over and maybe my headache would go away! But then he'd probably haunt me from beyond the grave or something...

(She sighs)

Ash's Mom: Back to cutting for me then...

(Insert Alternative Rock theme song here...)

Narrator: We join our heroes in-

Ash: Wahoo! Pokemon! Yeah!

Narrator: … Screw it, I don't get paid enough to do this...

(Ash spots a Pidgey)

Ash: Eh? That's not a Pidgey, that's a Pidove!

(Same crap...)

Ash: Go Master Ball!

(OMGWTFHAX!)

Pidove: (Ah heck no, I'm immune to gameshark, punk!)

(Pidove escapes the Master Ball)

Ash: …

(Wow, who fails with a Master Ball?)

Ash: Shut up, I hate you, 4kids powers activate!

(You're on Pokemon USA now, noob...)

Ash: Awww, crap...

(Ash spots an injured Tepig)

Ash: Oh noes, that Tepig is hurt!

Tepig: (No kidding, Sherlock...)

Ash: I know! I'll help it and then it'll decide to join me!

Tepig: (I don't need your help and I don't wanna join you! You look like a rapist!)

Ash: Here you go, Tepig, have an Oran Berry!

Tepig: (I just said- wait what? Food! Give it to me or perish!)

Ash: Wow... you must really like berries!

Tepig: (Give me the berry now, or I will rape your family and sell them on ebay!)

Ash: Here you go-

(Tepig snatches the berry and 'om nom nom's it...)

Tepig: (I feel much better... Oran Berry's are tasty and they magically heal wounds!)

Ash: Go Poke Ball!

Tepig: (That was so- wait what?)

(Ash catches Tepig!)

Ash: Gotcha! I caught Tepig!

Pikachu: Pi! Pikachu!

Ash: Aieeee! Stalker!

(Dropkicks Pikachu into uber-duber-scuba-wooper deep space)

Ash: That was... strange?

(No u...)

Ash: But anyway, now that I got my first pokemon, I'm gonna beat the pants off the first gym leader! Yeah!

(What the heck did I just write?)