From fuzzyporcupine on tumblr : "But what about an ereri au where Eren follows in his dad's footsteps and becomes a doctor and starts a non profit clinic and Levi is part of some deep underground mafia and one day he gets banged up and ends up having to go to the clinic because it is the only one that doesn't require any identification (in order to serve the poor who do not have insurance) only to get seen by Eren Yeager who is so concerned because 'wHY DID YOU NOT GO TO THE ER OMG YOU'VE BEEN SHOT' but Levi's too concerned with trying to win Eren over with these terrible pickup lines 'did you fart because you're blowing me away' and Eren is just trying to make sure Levi doesn't bleed out and finally Levi is able to be sent home only to return the next day with another injury and Eren just cannot believe because - 'JESUS CHRIST IS THAT A FUCKING GUN IN YOUR PANTS?' and Levi can finally use the line: 'no I'm just happy to see you' (but spoiler there is really a gun in his pants)" Hopefully I'll do this wonderful idea justice! Warning for violence.
It was around 6 pm when Levi begrudgingly headed out to meet Kenny's prospective client. It really wasn't a big client, just some guy who was scared of the gangs near his store. (Normally Levi wouldn't be sent out for such a small fish, but Kenny liked this guy.) Business was booming, and he was worried they would take notice. He requested some protection, nothing major. He didn't need guys with guns standing outside the door 24/7, but it would be nice to have someone watching his back. Levi really didn't want to go see him, but Kenny told him to, and that was that.
Levi looked around as he walked, noticing all the things they showed on the news. The "ugly" parts of his city. The black slush on the side of the pot holed road, the ditches full of dirty needles, the people shivering in the alleys, and the gang signs spray painted on the red bricks of buildings all made the nine o'clock news quickly followed by politicians shaking their head and saying they didn't know what to do.
He also made it a point to notice the beautiful things about his city. The happy couples, the giggling small children, and the little old ladies who really shouldn't be out in winter never made it on the news. They all seemed to be living a blissful life, unaffected by the fishbowl of violence they lived in. He wondered what they thought of him.
He was dressed simply in a black peacoat, a white scarf, and some dark wash jeans. The tip of his nose and his cheeks flushed pink with the icy air. He looked like just another guy walking on the street. There was no slick black suit, no cigarette hanging from his lips, and no black hat with a wide white brim on his head. He didn't speak in a heavy Italian accent and call people "Wise Guys". He fit in with none of the pop culture depictions of the mafia. For all the world, he looked just like any old guy returning home from work.
If you wanted a guy who looked like he just stepped out of the Godfather, you wanted Kenny. He called himself Kenny 'The Dentist' Ackerman because he had a fondness for helping people get rid of their teeth. He wore a suit everyday and had cheesy knuckle tattoos that spelled out VILLAIN with a diamond on the extra finger. He had an engraved revolver that he insisted was lucky and kept a submachine gun in the filing cabinet. Moreover, he just carried with him the air of a criminal. He had the condescending laugh, the slick black hair, and the dead eyes of a criminal. When he walked down the street, people parted without question.
Levi supposed he had earned the right to live out his Godfather fantasy; He was the head of their little mafia. Kenny had about a thousand men working under him. It wasn't as many as other guys up north, but it was respectable. He carefully picked who he wanted and enjoyed the millions of dollars they raked in. He bought businesses in the community to clean his money and put cops and politicians on payroll. He drown himself in women and drugs and liquor. Levi lived much more simply, like he was a normal person who just happened to shoot people as a night job.
Levi wasn't sure he would even be a part of Kenny's mob if he wasn't born into it. He was damn good at what he did though. He was an expert on taking out problems and getting rid of bodies. The logistics and power struggles, that shit was boring and didn't make sense. No way he would've willingly gotten tied up in it. He would have probably joined a small, simple gang, sold drugs and stole shit, and gone out early in a blaze of glory. But that's not what happened.
He arrived at the store Kenny sent him to about half past six. Levi looked at the tailored suits in the window and knew why his uncle liked this man. He was most likely paying his protection fee in custom suits and other fine clothing for the boss.
He paused in the walkway, pulling out his phone and shooting a quick text to the members who had followed him, at a distance and dressed as random occupations, of course, that he should be in and out in about fifteen minutes. He didn't want them stinking up the place. The lower level ones who followed him around to protect him from being horribly outnumbered were all too often trigger happy, too eager to prove themselves to Kenny.
"Assholes." He whispered to himself before hurrying inside.
The door hit against some bells to let the owner know Levi was there. An aging man with a fine suit on appeared from a back room, a polite smile on his face. He looked at Levi and his smile fell. He was probably thinking about how they didn't carry adult suits in such a short size. Levi saved him the trouble of figuring out how to show him a teenager's suit without offending him.
"I'm looking for the owner." His voice was monotone. Being around all these suits reminded him too much of his uncle.
"I'm the owner. Are you here to pick something up?" He leaned on a counter of twinkling jewelry.
"Kenny sent me over. Said you had a problem." Levi looked down at his already clean nails, thinking about how nice a hot shower would be.
"Oh!" The man's eyebrows shot up. "Um… Let me just flip the 'Open' sign and we can talk in the backroom."
"This is fine." Levi said, shoving his hands back in his pockets. He hated when people thought this worked like it did in the movies. Levi was not going to his backroom, (It was probably dirty, anyway), and he was not going to let this guy shut down his shop.
"If you think so…" The man's eyes moved to the door. "Should I lock it?"
"If anyone comes in, I'm just looking for a suit." He sighed. "No need to make a big deal out of it. Kenny just wants me to walk down here, look at you, and then walk back."
"Alright. Uh. Do you need me to answer any questions?" He was obviously taken aback by Levi's bluntness and general disinterest.
"You said you just wanted someone you could call if those gangsters started bothering you?" Levi waited for the man to nod. "I believe you. One of my guys will come in here, put a little sticker on your door, buy a suit, and then leave. Don't worry; It'll look like graffiti. Anyone asks and you say some kid stuck it on there and you don't care enough to take it off."
"That'll keep my store safe?" He asked.
"Yeah. The symbol on the sticker is our symbol. Gangsters will know it well. It means you're ours and messing with you means messing with Kenny. That's all you'll need."
"Will I need to send Kenny's suit-"
"Don't call him Kenny. I call him Kenny. He's my uncle, so I get that privilege. You call him Sir. Just Sir. When talking to me, you can say, 'your uncle'. I'll accept that as well." Levi had convinced Kenny to stop telling people to call him 'The Dentist' because it sounded ridiculous.
"Will I need to send Sir's suits somewhere or will someone be by to pick them up?" He asked, obviously a little shaken at Levi's reprimand.
"Someone will pick them up. I assume the first one is ready?" Levi really didn't want to go see his uncle, (He wanted a spa day god damn it), but Kenny would want it as soon as possible.
"Yes!" He ducked under the counter and pulled out a white clothing box with his emblem across the front. He opened it to show Levi the black suit inside, which was much finer than anything he sold in store. "Fine Italian wool! Meticulously handcrafted to meet Sir's exact requirements. Pure silk made blood red for the the tie. I even pricked my finger to make sure it was perfect!"
"That's nice. I'll be going now." Levi shoved the lid down and walked out, leaving the man to continue his gushing on his own time. He walked straight into one of the underlings, acting all big and tough, about to go into the man's shop.
"Can I help you?" Levi hissed.
"No, Sir." He man dressed as a construction worker quickly diverted his path into the cell phone store next to the suit store.
Levi thought about how much he hated these underlings while he punched out a mass text for one of them to get his car and bring it to him. It took three seconds for someone to volunteer. He was suddenly fed up with dealing with bullshit and to walk to Kenny's would take him hours. He could walk home in about thirty minutes, but he was done with today.
It took ten minutes for one of the knuckle heads near his house to grab his car and ~ carefully ~ drive it over to him. He slid in the back and was happy to see it was not, in fact, a boy scraping by on the shit heel of the hierarchy, but actually one of his men.
"Kenny's." He grunted. He felt down his pockets before realizing he had only brought a lighter with him.
"Oluo!" Levi held up his hand. Oluo tossed back a package of black clove cigarettes without even asking. Levi lit the cigarette as they sped off.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad to see you." Levi said. He exhaled lazily, sending smoke trailing through the window. "I'm done with foot men today."
"You dealt with them for maybe an hour. Tops."
"An hour too long." Levi bit. Oluo's shoulders shook with laughter. "It's not funny."
"Speaking of funny. Want to hear the new joke circulating around the boys?"
"No."
"So your uncle is 'The Dentist' right?" Oluo paused for Levi to confirm the obvious, but he didn't. "Then why aren't you 'The Hygienist'?"
Levi rolled his eyes while Oluo laughed.
"Get it? Cause you're his number two, the assistant to 'The Dentist', and your also a clean freak!"
"Funny. Who came up with it?" Levi asked, staring out the window.
"Don't go breaking kneecaps, boss." Oluo sighed. "Especially since Petra came up with it."
"Makes me wonder why I fought Kenny to allow girls into the mob." Levi shook his head. He didn't mean it. Petra was one of his hand picked and well trained subordinates, just under him in the hierarchy.
"It makes more sense than Levi 'Captain' Ackerman." Oluo shook his head. "What are you Captain of?"
"Your life." Levi said. Oluo eyes shifted into the rearview mirror to look at Levi, raising his eyebrows.
"Edgy." Oluo mumbled.
"I was sixteen or so when I came up with it. Go to hell." Levi flicked his half finished clove out of the window.
"I was thinking I could have a different name-" Oluo started.
"No. If I don't get to change mine then you don't get to change yours. 'Biter' is your fucking name."
"No fair, boss. Hanje changed her name." Oluo started whining. He slowed down when they came to Kenny's gate. The foot man in the guard shack saw it was them and open the gates.
"Hanje transitioned. She had a male nickname and changed it when she came out as a girl. That's fine. Unless you got an announcement to make, shut up."
"She went from 'Magic Man' to 'The Dogcatcher'. What does that even mean? She makes drugs and talks about science! She's allergic to dogs." He asked as they pulled up at Kenny mini-mansion.
"It doesn't matter what it means. She decided it." He slid out with Kenny's suit under his arm. "Wait here. I might be awhile, so jack off or something."
"Sure thing, boss." Oluo joked. Levi glared at him before shutting the car door.
There were two guys outside of Kenny's mini mansion. They nodded at Levi before going back to diligently staring at nothing. Levi entered in the code at the door and was let inside his uncle's house. The house smelled like popcorn and pussy. It always smelled like pussy, so the popcorn was the real indicator. Levi tracked down Kenny in his private projector room.
"Want some popcorn?" Kenny asked as Levi walked up, not bothering to take his eyes off the screen. The only person allowed this far without getting stopped by a mobster was Levi, his only flesh and blood.
"No." Levi pushed down the seat of the movie theater chair next to his uncle. He was projecting some action flick that Levi had never seen before.
"How did it go?" Kenny asked, munching on some more popcorn before wiping his mouth off on the sleeve of a multi-thousand dollar suit.
"He paid you another napkin, apparently." Levi's nose bunched up in disgust.
"So long as it's Italian wool." Kenny made two clicking noises with his mouth.
"Yeah, yeah. The boys get here to go out and collect the goods?" Levi asked, pulling his scarf up. Kenny had even requested the room be kept cold like a real movie theater.
"Yeah. Go whenever you want."
"Mmm." Levi hummed in response, slumping in his seat. It took him forty-five minutes of dramatic fighting and straight people looking longingly into each other's eyes before he got up. He left without a word, going into the hallway and telling one of Kenny's boys he was ready to go get the goods.
"I wonder where all the protesters went?" Armin asked, pouring dressing on his salad.
"Dunno." Eren shrugged. "Don't really care."
When they opened the non-profit clinic in the city, they advertised that they were lgbt friendly. As a doctor, Eren could prescribe hormones for transition, test for HIV, and care for the lgbt population in general. The clinic was always fully stocked with condoms and dental dams to give to those in need. Jean, a nurse, and Marco, the one and only therapist that worked there gave classes on lgbt health and safe sex. Providing free care to the public was fine, but they got threats of protests when that care included lgbt people.
"What kind of assholes would protest a free clinic?" Mikasa asked, giving Eren some of her sandwich.
"The homophobic kind." Eren said.
"Also transphobes." Armin, a transboy, added.
"Speaking of which, as both your receptionist and your security, I think we should have security cameras put in." Mikasa opened a bag of chips.
"No." Eren shook his head. "I want people to feel safe. You're amazing at fighting. I feel safe with you being out front. No need for cameras."
Mikasa looked like she wanted to protest, but it wasn't worth it. They had all had a long day. From nine am to nine pm, they and their friends saw countless people shuffle in and out. Some were simply coming down with a cold while others had been beaten senselessly. The stories some of them told Eren were absolutely heartbreaking. It was a draining job.
He couldn't do it without the support of the other doctors, Armin and Sasha. They along with the nurses Jean, Connie, Krista, and Ymir tended to the physical wounds of their patients. Marco was a therapist who joined their team after meeting them through Jean. Mikasa was the receptionist and muscle at the front. They kept the whole place up and running.
"I'm so tired." Eren whined. Days for his sister and best friend were more like 6 am to 10 pm. They came in early and stayed late because they were the founders and they had more duties than everyone else.
"Worth it." Armin said.
"Worth it but still tiring." Mikasa added. "Dad would be so proud of you."
"If he ever fucking came home." Eren said, suddenly not interested in his dinner anymore. His father was a sore spot for everyone present. Why would Mikasa bring him up? Eren knew his father, a doctor with Doctors Without Borders, would be proud of him.
