This work is dedicated to Lillan (my cat) who passed away 2017-12-18. She spent her last days on my lap as I edited this story.
Go and check out SandmanCircus's awesome art to my story! (I can't add links in the documents or the profile, but I'll find a way to link it!)
Monachopsis
The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place
Chapter 1
The hum of the engine was the only thing keeping him sane. The sudden shrieks of the tires when Black*Star stomped on the gas pedal. His body swung from the life-threatening skids of every turn he made. Soul focused on holding himself to his side of the seat while Maka pressed herself against the opposite car door, eyes angrily squinted as she stared at the snowy mountainsides. He rolled his eyes and looked out his window.
"Look at all the mountains." Tsubaki repeated for the fifth time, a poor effort at easing the dense tension. "I've never seen so much snow at the same time."
Black*Star snorted loudly, spraying spit on the steering wheel. "It's not as amazing as your almighty God! I shine brighter than the sun!" His obnoxious laughter made Soul's stomach roll and bile rise in his throat. He grimaced as he stared out at the slim mountain road they skidded up.
Right now, he couldn't care less if they skidded off the road and died.
"If we finish the mission early, perhaps we could go skiing." Tsubaki spoke.
"Pffft! Skiing's for pussies! A great God like me will drive snowmobiles! I'll show you all the cool backflips I've up my sleeves!" Black*Star hooted and he slammed his fist at the ceiling in excitement.
"Will you focus on driving?" Maka sneered.
"Geez, bookworm, what crawled up your ass and died?"
Soul rolled his eyes when Tsubaki slapped the back of his head. "Do as Maka says or I'll take over."
Soul didn't even want to know what kind of shenanigans Black*Star had instore if he wasn't distracted by the road. With all the ants in his pants, who knew what he would do. Soul certainly didn't want to be on the receiving end of his attention. All he wanted was to be left alone. Except for the happy Maka who wouldn't glare at him and give him the cold shoulder, not this Maka who clearly seemed to deeply despise him for absolutely no reason at all.
"Look!" Tsubaki pointed toward the top of the curvy road. "There's the town!"
In the distance along the mountain stretched two-store wood houses along with green trees. In the background of the buildings, small black dots skied down the long mountains' slopes. The image was peaceful. A picture you would expect in a vacation magazine. A lot of people traveling to the ski resort, there would be plenty of people for a kishin to feed on.
This was an easy mission. Find Akane and defeat the kishin. Simple. They were already way overpowered. One weapon and meister pair could do this without any problem, but yet, Kid decided to send three pairs. And one of them was his own weapons. He had no clue what the reasoning was behind his decision.
They arrived in the city. Tsubaki read the map and guided Black*Star through narrow snowy roads. Soon, the car came to a shrieking halt. Soul slammed forward and the seatbelt tightened against his chest. He unfastened his seatbelt and quickly got out of the car, relieved at the chilly air nibbling his cheeks and scent of fresh air. He did survive the long ride to the cabin with Black*Star behind the wheel, they certainly had a guardian angel watching over them.
The door to the small cabin opened and out marched Liz with a huge grin on her face. "Well, finally you arrived. Thought you would manage to get here before noon with Black*Star as your driver."
"Not when you drive over glass." Maka murmured as she opened the trunk.
"We got here faster than if Tsubaki would've driven." Black*Star barked. "No offense." He placed his palm on Tsubaki's shoulder and it lingered longer than platonic.
"None taken." She patted his hand.
"We wouldn't have been stuck in that diner for two and a half hours if Tsubaki drove." Maka angrily threw Black*Star's backpack hard and he caught it as if it was nothing.
Soul rolled his eyes and he went up to the trunk with his hands shoved deep in his pants. "Just knock it off."
Maka's razor sharp eyes were for the first time in a long time on him. "Yeah, and that's coming from you."
"Um, yeah. It's no use fighting over something that's already done."
Her eyes narrowed and she swung her backpack over her shoulder, crossing her arms over her tiny (but very desirable) chest. She snorted and aggressively bumped her shoulder into his as she went passed him. Liz cocked her newly plucked eyebrow as she gazed between them questioningly.
"I'm going to unpack." Maka murmured as she went up the stairs and headed inside of the small cabin.
Liz waited for the door to close before she opened her mouth. "What's up with her?"
"Just PMS or something." he lied as he rubbed his shoulder Maka had bumped into, hurting more mentally than physically.
He hated fighting with Maka. He hated not being able to touch her or talk to her or simply sitting in comfortable silence beside her. The tension was killing him and he hated the fact he didn't even know why they were fighting. It was if a switch was flipped in their relationship and suddenly Maka was… cold. Then there were those moments when she exploded with rage when he opened his mouth.
He grabbed his bag from the trunk and went up the three steps and entered the cabin. It was like any other cabin. Wooden walls and matching floors, fireplace with a fluffy rug you wanted to dig your toes into.
"Don't drag inside snow. Patty has already slipped." Liz called inside. Soul heard her sigh heavily as she went passed him, taking off her shoes on the large rug. "So…" She pointed her thumb toward a door left to the living area. "There's a bedroom. You and Maka could take that one." Liz changed her direction and pointed toward a door by the stairway to the second level. "Tsubaki and Black*Star, you take the master bedroom."
"Aw sweet!" Black*Star bolted right passed them and slammed the door open.
Soul rolled his eyes at Black*Star's trail of snow leading toward the bedroom, hearing his hoots to the sound of bedsprings shrieking.
"Sorry, I'll wipe it up." Tsubaki bowed toward Liz apologetically after she had taken off her shoes and put them away on the shoe rack.
"Don't worry about it." Liz waved it away and Tsubaki followed the trail of melting snow inside of the bedroom. "Patty and I took the liberty to take the two singles on the second level." Liz's eyes darted to Maka disappearing inside of their bedroom, slamming the door shut loudly. "But if you want some space from Maka, we could switch."
The idea of abandoning the golden opportunity to share a room with Maka left a bitter taste in his mouth. Maka had already distanced from him, there was no use in putting more distance between them. Whatever the stick she had shoved up her ass was, he needed to take care of it before they headed out to finish off the kishin. The last thing he wanted was a battle against Free 2.0. "Thanks Liz, but we'll be fine." In due time. As soon as Maka had cooled down and ready to have a civilized conversation with him. Trying to patch up their relationship when Maka was high on rage never was a good idea. The multiple chops to the head were proof enough.
"If you say so."
He sighed and went passed Liz. His hand enveloped the rough golden doorknob and it clicked loudly when he twisted it. The door creaked open loudly, almost drowning out the sound of rapid footsteps and fabric tearing. Maka cursed and stomped her foot like a toddler, throwing the broken zipper on the ground.
"Wow, what did the zipper do to you?" The regret hit him faster than lightning when her razor sharp eyes set on him, cheeks flushed with hot anger. "Okay, no jokes." He strolled over to the free single bed on the other side of the room. His back thudded when it landed on the floor and he flopped down on the soft covers.
"Why are you even here?" she snarled, fisting the fabric of her backpack.
"Why shouldn't I be? We're roomies like always."
"Not that." she sighed heavily and spun around on her feet so she could face him. "Gosh! You're such an idiot!"
"Idiot?" He shot up from his bed. "So breathing makes me an idiot?"
"Yes!" She closed her eyes and shook her head madly, pigtails whipping her cheeks. "No― it's not― you're not an idiot." she shrieked loudly in annoyance and fisted her hair.
"Then what the heck's your problem? You've been acting weird for days now." He carefully watched her, analysing every wrinkle of anger on her nose and the deep divide between her neat pale eyebrows.
"It's nothing―"
"Bullshit." he called and her eyes shut tightly. "Whatever's going on, you need to tell me or bury the hatches or else this mission can turn messy really quickly."
"That's the thing, nothing is wrong."
"Then get a grip," His voice rose in strength. He crossed the space between their beds. His palms grabbed her shoulders and she gasped, wide eyes locking with his in astonishment. "We're a team. If this continues we'll be back to the battle with Free and once again we'll be a burden. Come on Maka, we're stronger than this." He urged as his thumbs soothingly massaged her collarbones. He flinched at the view of water rising in her eyes. Regret sunk in his belly like a stone sinking in the sea.
"I know." A tear trickled down her cheek. She slapped his hands away from her and stood up. "Don't you think I already know I'm dragging us down?" Her pigtails whipped his face when she turned on her heel, storming out of the bedroom. The door loudly slammed into the wall, shaking the floor and threatening to break from its hinges from the sheer force.
"Maka!"
"Leave me alone!" she screeched when he followed him. He came to a halt on the other side of the red leather couch. The front door slammed open just as powerful― if not more and Maka stormed out with tears staining her cheeks.
Damn it. He knew he shouldn't have pulled out the "duty" card. It was so stupid of him. He knew very well Maka didn't take lightly being a burden. He experienced that first-hand in the book of Eibon. She'd given him a glance of her insecurities and they overcame it. Together. And here he was; rubbing her insecurity right in her face, just twisting the knife in her chest. He might've as well told her he was done being her weapon.
He bit his lower lip as he watched Maka wander away from the cabin in the snow. Desire to run after her made his feet ache and his fingers tingling, only his reasoning kept him from running after her. If he went after her, it would only hurt her more. A calm stroll through the small tourist city in the mountains could cool her down enough to perhaps reopen the discussion they had. Maybe then, they could solve the problem without spurring each other on and only create more tangles on their already shaky relationship.
He massaged his tense neck and he faced the ceiling. After sealing Asura on the moon, he thought their relationship could only get better. He overcame the black blood, strengthened his relationship with Maka― he played the piano in front of the school's student body. Without Maka by his side.
"Trouble in paradise?"
Soul sighed, turning around to face Liz leaning against the wall at the top of the stairway. "Please don't start."
"What?" She descended the stairs, her boots thudding for every step. "Your tongue too tired from making out with her?"
He rolled his eyes almost into his skull as she snickered, pleased with her joke. "You know that's the last thing that will happen." He tightened his jaw as he watched Maka disappear around a corner of a house.
"You know she has only love for you." she said as she stared out of their cabin by his side.
"I know." He placed his palm on his chest, right above his soul. He could feel her soul, feel the invisible ties between them that bound them together. Made it possible for him to sense her at the very back of his mind, reminding him how far they were, there would always be a part of her inside of him. "I can feel she loves me. Not just the same kind of love like mine."
Even though she didn't love him, he appreciated her company the most. Treasured the moments they shared. Their movie nights. Laughing by the kitchen table at something stupid Black*Star did while eating Chinese food. Maka hugging his waist as he drove them to Shibusen on his motorcycle. He would always love her. He was already prepared to swallow his feelings and spend the rest of his life as her friend and weapon partner. She had her hooks in him too deep, there was no way he could possibly kill his emotions and turn his back on her. All he wanted was for them to be together. Not necessarily as lovers, anything she gave him, he would be pleased as long as he was a part of her life.
The risk of losing Maka would never be worth it. He's selfish. He loves her too much to let her go. Maka will always be his sun, his oxygen and his guardian angel. And he would always stand by her side.
"You know both of you are ridiculous. Always going on about―"
"Will you just stop?" he snarled, whipping his head around. "You're not helping."
"Fine." She flicked her golden hair over her shoulder. "Come and help us out in the kitchen."
"Fine." he muttered. After one glance out of the front door window, he dragged his feet into the kitchen where Tsubaki stirred a pot and Patty sliced vegetables. He was handed the job of cooking the rice. As he rinsed the rice and looked out the window into the darkness outside the house, only the light from the slope breaking the darkness; he wondered if Maka would be okay all alone in the dark with an unknown kishin lurking around. A smirk grew on his face. But then again, this was Maka Albarn he was talking about. A single kishin couldn't even touch her. The kishin was the least of his worries. She had been in a hurry when she stormed out of the cabin, he knew when she dragged her fine ass back to the cabin, she would be freezing cold.
"Hey, Tsubaki." Soul spoke up, earning the woman's attention. "Do you think we've some cocoa?"
…
Maka was overreacting. She knew she was at fault. All Soul wanted was to spread light on the problem slowly tearing them apart. Only if he knew she was the problem.
She bit her flushed lower lip as she tightened her creamy coat over her chest. She stomped loudly as she followed the road, wandering aimlessly away from the cabin. Anywhere was better than feeling Soul's concerned eyes (not so) secretively gazing at her worriedly.
Her foot hit a hard object. Maka gasped and powder snow swung up from the ground when she planted her face in the newly fallen snow. Frustratingly she shrieked and stood up, not bothering to brush off the snow slowly melting on her head and shoulders.
It was her fault they were unravelling. If she had only been a good meister and kept her feelings in check, their relationship wouldn't slowly deteriorate. Her feelings were tearing both of them apart and there was nothing she could do. She had already tried to halt her feelings from bubbling up to the surface when she saw the cute dimples on his cheeks when he smiled or when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders on their Friday nights in watching horror movies. She reframed herself from interacting with him outside of missions and it had crashed and burned.
There was a burning desire within her, completely consuming her. She wanted him. Needed him. A hunger she had tried to burry for years, only now it was out of hand. Her hunger for her partner was an uncontrollable forest fire. No amount of water or manpower could stop it. Only Soul's rejection could keep her from going full metal jacket on him. Or worse, turn into one of his fan girls.
They had arrived at the final test of "friendship". Her romantic feelings for her partner were dragging both of them down. Their partnership was falling apart. She had to say it. Her feelings demanded to be known. This was what they had been building up for all these years. They demanded to be known.
And it would be the end of them.
She wandered through the small mountain town, ignored the happy hoots from the after ski cabin and went up the slope. The chilly air bit her exposed cheeks and snow slashed her jacket. Her cool bare hands sought the little warmth her armpits could provide. If she had more sense, she should have brought some gloves. Or not stormed off at all.
She headed up the ski slope. The steep slope had her thighs burning and she silently thanked the years of walking up the long stairs up to Shibusen. The slope's ski-damaged floors turned into untouched powder snow and the lights along the immobile ski lift slowly faded as she went deeper into the forest at the top of the slope. The air seemed to get colder for every second that went by. At least the shuriken-like snow and the strong wind weren't as bad.
Her phone went off. She plopped down by a fir-tree, snow raining down when she bumped into the branches. The light from her screen blinded her eyes. Her chill body grew warm and fuzzy like cotton candy at the sight of the ridiculous picture of Soul wearing humongous colourful sunglasses with palm trees, sun beds and umbrella-cladded drinks. Unknowingly a huge smile spread on her pale lips and she opened the message.
dinners almost ready theres hot cocoa waiting for you
Her chest wrenched. Even though she had screamed in his face and marched out of the cabin for absolutely no reason, he was still concerned. Forgiving her outburst and prepared a peace offering to her when it was her who started it in the first place!
Her tooth chewed her lower lip as her throat clogged. Cheeks grew cold when unwanted tears trickled down. Damn him. He was too caring.
"Hello?" she gasped at the sudden voice and quickly pocketed her phone. "Are you there?" Light from a flashlight exposed her footprints.
She wiped away her tears and stood up. "Um, I'm over here." She stepped around the tree, hand covering her eyes from the blinding light.
…
He didn't know what came first; the ice-cold poison spreading through his body and freezing every cell in its wake, mind going blank and fear widening his eyes, threatening to pop his eyes out of their sockets or the porcelain slipping from his hands and shattering into pieces. His fingers dug into his shirt above his soul and his friends' concerned questions and Black*Star's complaining was a blur.
Something was wrong.
Something was really wrong.
The warm feeling. The warm presence of Maka's soul bound to his at the very corner of his soul, it was gone. Eradicated, destroyed, ceased to exist, completely disconnected from him. His eyes whipped toward the direction of the slope where he last felt her presence.
"What the fuck man?!" Black*Star shouted, slamming his palms on the table, the glass on the table clung.
"Are you okay?" Tsubaki cautiously asked.
"Did Mister Giraffe scare you?"
"Hey, what's going on?" The moment Liz's manicured hand touched his shoulder, he snapped.
"Something's wrong!" He stepped over the glass, shaky hands picking up his phone from his pocket. "Maka's in danger!"
"What?" Tsubaki gasped.
"Finally!" Black*Star shot up, the glasses jumped when his feet landed on the table. "The kishin shows its ugly face! I'll knock him out with one punch!" He punched the air excitedly as if he was visualizing kicking the kishin's ass.
"Black*Star." Tsubaki scolded her meister.
"What do you mean she's in danger?" Liz insisted.
"I don't know." His thumb quivered when it swiped over his screen, panicky searching for Maka's contact information. "The bond― it's gone!"
"Gone? Does that mean…?"
"No!" Soul whirled around, immediately regretting snarling at Patty. "She's not dead."
"Oh just give it to me." Liz snatched the phone, pressing on Maka's number and put it on speaker. Soul impatiently fidgeted on the spot. Ringtone after ringtone went by until it went to voicemail.
"Fuck it!" Soul took back his phone and stormed across the living area to the front door. "I'm going to look for her." Without a thought about a jacket or shoes, he slammed the door open and it slammed to the wall, the wood cracked. The cool air bit his exposed arms and ripped at his cheeks. He pumped his arms as he ran through the snow slicing at his arms like ninja stars.
"Soul! Wait up!" Tsubaki hollered.
He didn't care. Maka was in danger. She needed him. He had last felt her presence in the mountains, somewhere along the slope. She had to be there alive!
He forced his feet to slam harder on the ground, arms to pump faster and eyes to frantically search every inch of the space laid out on front of him.
"Maka!" he screamed, it bounced along the cabins and mountain walls, only his own voice answered him.
He wasn't a believer. The only certain was death, heck, he had seen death and death was his friend. He hoped, prayed to Kid that her soul wasn't collected. She couldn't be, she couldn't be ever! He was supposed to protect her!
The cold couldn't touch him. The snow didn't bother him. Only the hallow space in his soul terrified him to the bone.
"Maka! Where are you!" he howled.
"Why are you yelling?"
He whipped around, heart immediately soaring high at the sound of Maka's voice, the corners' of his lips pulled up to his ears at the sight of Maka walking down the slope approximately thirty yards away. Unharmed and not a sign of any struggle on her clothes.
"Maka!" His cheeks hurt from smiling as he ran up to her, snow kicking up for every step he took.
As if he had been blinded by the divine sight of Maka, the figure beside him attract his attention. The same set of bangs he had seen before covered his usual left eye and the glasses were exchanged to a pair of sunglasses.
Soul came to a shrieking halt in front of them. The pure sensation of relief and happiness gave him wings and for once, he let the neutral façade fall to the ground and he threw his arms around his meister. Maka forced to backpedal from the sheer force of his hug. He didn't care if he was uncool. Maka was here alive.
"Wow?" She didn't miss a beat, her arms snaked around his waist and returned the unexpected hug. "Did the cabin burn down or something?"
He pulled back enough to look her in her eyes, hands still resting on her shoulder blades. He cocked his eyebrow in confusion. "You don't feel it?"
It was Maka's turn to look puzzled. "Feel what?"
The happy fluttery feeling in his chest came to a crashing stop and as if a bucket of ice water was dumped over him. Was it… was the disconnection only bothering him? Was she even aware of it?
"Hey!"
Soul repelled away from Maka and saw the rest of their friends come jogging toward them, fully clothed in their winter attire. Black*Star's eyes were fired up, Tsubaki already in her sword form, ready for battle.
"Where's the kishin at?" Black*Star questioned.
"Kishin?" Akane spoke up for the first time. He raised his dark blue eyebrow. "What kishin?"
"What kishin?" Black*Star stupidly repeated. "The kishin Kid sent us to kill and save your ass. Duh."
"There's no kishin here."
"Akane explained it all to me." Maka pitched in. "We aren't here to hunt a kishin."
"We aren't?" Liz said surprisingly. "Then why did Kid send us here?"
"Why don't we move this conversation inside?" Akane suggested. "Before Soul turns into a popsicle."
"Good idea." Maka smiled toward Akane.
"Yeah." Liz untied the fabric around her waist over her deep purple jacket, throwing it at him. It was his jacket. "Next time you might want to get dressed before you storm outside." Then followed his boots, landing in front of his soggy socks.
As if a switch was flipped in his mind, the cold air that seemed to only nibble at his skin, was feeding on his bones and his feet were like ice blocks. He shivered as he quickly shoved his feet into the boots and pushed his arms through his sleeves, zipping the jacket.
…
After they arrived back inside of the warm cabin, they cleaned up the broken porcelain and decorated the table while Tsubaki reheated their dinner quickly. Soul created a cocoon of blankets and warmed up his frozen body in front of the fireplace and to his dismay, was the only one enjoying his lukewarm cocoa. His eyes kept on darting toward Maka and Akane seated by the table. When dinner was finally reheated and ready, he let his blanket hang around his shivering form as he slid down by Maka at the table, studying her composed expression, trying to decipher her. Her expression stayed cheerful and she talked to everybody. Except him. Her gaze would stay on everybody and then it would fast travel passed him.
She was still upset.
He had to find a moment to talk to her in peace.
Dinner was placed on the table and they dug in.
"So," Tsubaki resumed where they had left off by the slope. "Why we are here?"
"Yes." Akane spoke after he swallowed his food. "You all know it is ten months since the sealing of the Asura."
Instantly Soul's eyes were on Maka, her eyes tightly squeezed shut in disappointment, painfully reminded she couldn't save her friend. He brushed her hand. Slowly her eyes cracked open, the pain buried behind her social mask once again. This time, she didn't look at him. No thankful glance or touch. No reaction, nothing at all.
He hated the distance that only seemed to grow between them for every second that went by. Even though she was within arm's reach, he had never felt more distant and disconnected from her. The cold hollow in his soul chilled his whole body. He wanted that connection back. Needed it back.
It was as if his soul had been ripped wide open and the presence of Maka had been violently removed. His soul gaped wide open, throbbing agonizingly, reminding him he wasn't whole― could never be whole without Maka. His fingers dug into the blanket under the table. She so easily went on while he felt crippled. Maka smiled toward their friends, talking with ease, not a single sign of bother. There he was, hurting and longing and left with a boundless desire of being filled with her essence again, knowing he was never alone, that she was always there with him even though they weren't in the same room.
And there he was, more alone that he had ever felt and a hurt he had never experienced before while Maka was smiling.
"Yeah, I would've totally defeated the kishin on my own if I learned to float earli―!" Tsubaki smacked Black*Star on the head, successfully shutting him up and earning an apology.
"Anyway," Akane continued, "after that, I think we can all agree it has been very hectic. With our sudden bond to the witches, Kid being the new Lord Death and rebuilding the city to sustain a new peaceful era. Wounds had to be healed and all." He loaded up food on his fork, shoving it into his mouth, chewing thoroughly before he swallowed. "Everybody who was involved drowned in paperwork to leave their own report on the events. Kid ultimately decided now when it's a little bit more peaceful that the Spartoi squad needed a paid vacation."
"But why isn't Kilik and the others here with us?" Liz asked.
"Kid can't afford to send all of you on a vacation at once. He wanted half the team to stay behind while you were on vacation, and when you return, they will be sent on their vacation."
"I guess that makes sense." Tsuabki said. "It's just too bad we all couldn't enjoy a vacation together."
"That's so sweet of him." Liz said as she fished up her phone from her pocket. "We should all send a video thanking him."
"You don't need to do that." Akane waved it away. "The vacation ends after New Year's Eve, just enjoy your vacation. I can handle Kid and I can send him plenty pictures of us."
"Oh, okay." Liz pocked her phone again.
"But where is Clay?" Black*Star's head whipped around as if he was hiding somewhere in the cabin.
"He drove back to Death City. Kid needed him for something."
Soul played with his food, no appetite at all. The hunger he had felt was blown away with the bond between them. The only yearning he had was for Maka. He glanced once in a while at Maka but she kept on talking to everybody except him.
Even though he was surrounded with his friends, he had never before felt this lonely.
…
The water loudly hit the floor of the bathtub within the bathroom. Towel draped over his wet hair and sweatpants hugged his waist. Soul fiddled with his phone. He went through his contacts until he found the name on his mind. The dialling tune rang in his ear as he waited.
"Soul!" His brother greeted him. "Long time no see, brother."
"Hey Wes."
"What's wrong?" Without missing a beat, Wes instantly detected the sorrow in his voice.
"It's a long story." Soul began. "The point is, we're on a vacation and Maka… I don't know what's going on, but we can't get along."
"Soul… is she…?"
"No!" His eyes widened in shock. "Of course she's not hurting me!" he sighed annoyingly, the water still loudly dripping on the floor of the bathtub. "I said stupid, stupid things and I know it hurt her, and now she won't look at me or talk to me."
"Have you apologized?"
"Haven't really gotten a chance to apologize to her. She's avoiding me like I'm the plague."
"The first thing you need is to apologize to her the next moment you see her. If you've to go up on a stage and say it, you do it. Letting it go on is only bad for both of you. I'm sure Maka's sick of fighting with you too."
He hoped so too. He was sick and tired of all of this― mess! He couldn't go on fighting like Maka could, he was a weakling and he needed to bury the hatches. The distance was poisoning, slowly killing one cell at a time and corroding his sanity once second at a time.
"Okay, I'll do that. Thanks for listening." The water in the bathroom came to a sudden halt.
"I'm always a phone call away." Wes said. "I've missed you, you know, it was hard on all of us not hearing from you in so long."
"I know. I'll see you in spring."
"We're all looking forward to it. Say hi to Maka from me."
"I will." They said their goodbyes and hung up. He sighed loudly and dropped the phone on the bed. He knelled down in front of his bag and pulled out a package with newspaper acting as wrapping since the wrapping paper was no longer in the hall closet and he couldn't find where Maka placed the gift wrapping.
His intentions were to give it to her on New Year's Eve to forget the rough patch they endured and start of the New Year on a good foot. Maybe he should rethink his plan and give it to her as an apology gift instead? The hot cocoa he made certainly didn't quench her rage. Maybe… just maybe his present could forgive and forget everything and they could enjoy their vacation alongside with their friends.
The door to the bathroom opened and out went Maka in her striped pyjamas and towel-dried hair. He brought the gift close to his chest, her eyes never went anywhere close to him.
"I was on the phone with Wes," he said, waiting for a response but was only met with silence. "He said hi."
"Okay." She pulled the knitted quilt away, folded it and placed it on the floor.
Soul gulped and wet his lips. "He's looking forward to our visit in spring."
"Me too."
He watched her crawl into the bed and pulled the blanket over her body, of course turning her back to him.
He wet his lips, pulling out his present once again. "I'm sorry." he confessed, holding the package close to his chest. "Not just for snapping at you earlier, but for everything before the trip. I've acted like a dick."
Maka stayed quiet for a second. "I've already forgiven you."
His arms came to a shrieking halt. Was this one of those moments when she technically forgave him but not emotionally? He stared at her back, nails creating half-moon on the newspaper wrapper.
She forgave him?
He chose to believe her for the moment.
…
The night was as silent as a graveyard. Even more silent than Death City. The grandfather clock inside of the living room ticked loudly. Maka couldn't sleep. She lay awake staring up at the wooden ceiling. Eyes felt like sandpaper and muscles heavy with fatigue, and yet the sleep refused to envelope her.
Soul's light snores filled the room, looking more at ease than ever. A smile spread on her face watching him sleep peacefully.
Her hand lay above her chest where her soul dwelled. She could feel something wasn't quite right, but she couldn't really put her finger on it. She felt… it was different. It was as if something was missing. Something very important but she couldn't realize what it was. During dinner, out of the corner of her eye, she had caught Soul's absent eyes and fiddling with his pant. Just like he had offered a soothing brush to her hand, she wished to reach out to him, make peace with him and comfort him. Something had clearly bothered him and it worried her but… she didn't. She had gone on. Left him to comfort himself.
She… she did love him. Had loved him for a long time, but yet, she had turned her back on him because of an overblown argument. It wasn't like her. She knew she could hold a grudge ten times longer than Soul, but it wasn't like her to reject his peace offering in form of cocoa (his cocoa did smell amazing and made her mouth water), and she held on to her anger.
This was silly. Beyond ridiculous. She didn't want to feud with him. She wanted to enjoy this vacation they were gifted with instead of focusing her anger at her crippling feelings for him. Her feelings for him were hindering them, putting a strain on their relationship, she couldn't let her feelings hold them back anymore. She couldn't allow her feelings to cause more trouble than they had already done.
They had buried the hatches. All their problems were now in the past.
Silently she pushed the blanket away from her body and her exposed feet touched the cool floor. As if he was a magnet, she was drawn to him. She crossed the small space between their beds in two short steps.
"Soul?" Lightly she shook his shoulder.
He inhaled loudly and his eyes fluttered open, the land of dreams disappearing from his eyes and instantly concern overtook him at the sight of her. "What's wrong?"
"I'm fine." she whispered, not to disturb the silent night too much. "Can I sleep in your bed?"
Without answering, he made room for her and invitingly opened up his blanket. She crawled into bed with him, snuggled close to his warm and safe chest, cramming into the small single bed. His arms enclosed around her, holding her close to him. Her head rested against his chest and he buried his face into her loose locks.
"Soul?" she spoke again. He hummed in response, chest vibrating soothingly. "I'm sorry too."
She felt a smile spread on his lips against her head. "It's in the past now."
And it was. Their banters were forgiven and forgotten. The rest of the vacation they wouldn't ruin it for the rest of the crew with their silly arguments.
His breathing slowed down and he was once again sleeping peacefully (she liked to entertain the thought he slept more peacefully now than before). Her fingers dug into his shirt and she buried her face in his chest. "I promise my feelings won't cause any more trouble." Her voice was barely audible. "I promise to be the meister you deserve."
From now on, she unstrapped her feelings from her heart. She would only have his best at heart. No more selfish desires. No more longing for that blissful it. No more wanting Soul.
She left it all behind.
