Adrenaline courses through every vein in my body. I'm jumpy, if you get right down to it; haven't been in action for a few weeks, and now the Citadel is suddenly under attack. My free hand clenches into a fist as I think about the uniforms of the people staging this coup: Cerberus. The slippery bastards managed to find a hole in the defenses somehow. I run over possible weak points in my head, but I'm coming up short on ideas. They probably had an insider, which is even worse. Who would willingly work for terrorists?
Clunk.
"What's that noise?" The asari councilor sounds as worried as ever. My eyes shoot up to the elevator's roof, directly above our heads. Shit. They finally caught up with us. The familiar pull of gravity coalesces around me as I point my favorite pistol to the ceiling. They're not taking this council out. Not while I'm around.
"Gunmen. Get down!" The elevator screeches to a halt as one of the councilors hits the break. At least I hope it's one of them. Just to be sure, I let off a few shots through the roof; maybe I'll get lucky and hit one of the assholes up there. The moment I hear those doors slide open, I yell. "Go!" Feet thud behind me as all three tumble into the Presidium.
The smell of smoke immediately greets my nose. That's not a good sign, but I'm too preoccupied making sure that the elevator doesn't magically turn into a Cerberus clown car. Unfortunately, the next thing I hear is exactly what I don't want to hear.
A turian voice, low and concerned, reaches my ears. "The shuttle…"
I spin around, gun still aimed at the doors, and stare. God damn it, they destroyed this shuttle, too? Where the hell am I supposed to…we'll have to try the next level, then. My throat clears and I start ordering them back. It's my job to protect them, and I try to make my voice as commanding as possible. "Cerberus took it out. Everyone back to the elevator."
They're not moving. Why aren't they moving? The three of them are staring at the elevator in surprise. I turn back and shock ripples down my body, straightening my posture. Alliance blue, bright red, gunmetal black. Scowl on her face, gun drawn, eyes narrowed.
Kaelia.
Everything else, all my thoughts, screech to a halt. What is she doing here? I shift my weight to my back foot, gun hand lowering. Her arrival is a little convenient…but no. No, she swore she wasn't with Cerberus, and I believe her. Despite that, she's still got a gun drawn on the Council and I'm in charge of protecting them; I raise the gun again. Something is very wrong here.
"…Udina." We both don't like the new human representative, but I've never heard venom in her voice like that before. Not when talking to that former gang member, or even the Reaper on Virmire. Realization suddenly hits me: her gun is trained on the councilor.
It's all I can do to keep my jaw from dropping. What the hell? "Shepard, what's going on?"
Silky yet slimy, Udina's voice slithers its way over to me. "Shepard's blocking our escape; she's still with Cerberus." My neck hair rises at the accusation. No way, she made it abundantly clear that she'd broken all ties. I believe her, too. After months of grappling with it and watching her and listening to her explanations, I really do believe it. That doesn't explain why she's here, though…
"That's ironic, coming from you." Hatred oozes out of every word she spits at him. The two of them have never gotten along, but this is too much. Is this personal? I can't imagine she'd ever purposefully try to kill the councilor. What the hell is going on here?
If they both don't stop, she's going to just shoot him and that won't explain anything. I take one step to the side, sliding in between them. Protecting him; doing my duty. I can't believe this. Now I have the love of my life pointing a gun at me! I'm protecting Udina from her. As if things weren't insane already, Kaelia and I are now in a standoff…over Udina. If I wasn't on edge before, that realization would have done it. I try to make my voice as soothing as possible. I don't want to have to shoot her. I don't know if I can. "Just…hang on. Everyone calm down."
Even if she hasn't dropped her aim, her voice is a little softer. "We don't have time for this, Kaidan. This whole thing has been a setup." Garrus is probably the only other one who notices, but her elbow bent the tiniest bit, too. Good. The last thing we need is a shootout. The thought of having a shootout with Kaelia is... I shake my head. No.
"What are you talking about? Put the gun down." She should know me better than this. I swore an oath to the Alliance. I'm a Spectre now. I need to protect the Council, and that means not letting anyone – even her – gun them down. I steady my grip on my pistol, trying to completely shut my emotions down, but my eyes are pleading. Please don't do this.
Green eyes finally shift over to mine, widening for a split second before she's back under control. Her tone is low, composed. The anger is definitely still there, but that steel is underneath it all. This was the same conviction and confidence that she'd shown when talking down the Council about the Reaper threat. She clearly believes whatever information she has. "Would I do this if I weren't dead certain, Kaidan? Would I? Udina's behind this attack – Councilor Valern confirmed it."
That is a damning accusation; far from the first she's ever made, though. And frankly, she's usually right about them…but accusing Udina of trying to seize power? That's a little far, even for her. I want to believe her – it's hard not to when she looks at you like that – but I don't know. My head slowly starts to warm up, pain building at the base of my neck. Damn, bad time for a tension headache. I slowly reach down to tap my medi-gel dispenser. Hopefully at a bare minimum, it'll stave off anything worse.
"Please, you have no proof. You never do." Rarely have I heard Udina actually be smug, but there it is. I'm not the one he's talking to, but even I want to slap him. "You admitted to working with Cerberus, and for all we know you still are." He isn't helping any; her arm just straightened and I note her finger wrapping around the trigger again. Dammit.
I brace myself for a shot when her arm moves in a blur to motion toward the elevator, but nothing happens. My barrier can take several direct shots, but if I know her, she has her gun modded with warp tech. She never was good at fighting biotics, and her best defense always was a good offense. For a split second green eyes turn to look at the sealed elevator door before looking at the other councilors. Her cheek is a little more cracked than it was last time. My gut twists at the reminder. She may not actually be the woman I love. "You want proof? There are Cerberus troops in the elevator shaft behind us; if you open that door, you're dead. We can't protect you from them all."
At least she used "we." That's something. I bite the inside of my cheek. If what she says is true, could we take them on? Garrus is a crack shot, but he's out of his element, given the sniper rifle in his hands. She's amazing in hand-to-hand, but I saw a lot of Cerberus troops using the same type of combat moves. I'm good, but out of practice. Not being able to use my biotics the past few weeks drained me of a lot of my stamina. She's right: we wouldn't be able to protect all three councilors. My feet shift; this situation just keeps getting worse. Even if I do manage to keep her from killing Udina, it may end up not mattering in the end anyway.
Worried, but thoughtful, Councilor Tevos's voice softly rises above the sounds of battle below us. "We've mistrusted Shepard before, and that was not wise." She has a point. No matter how ridiculous it sounds, no matter how utterly absurd her claims are, Kaelia is almost always in the right. I want to believe her. My eyebrows twist together, mind racing a mile a minute. What if she isn't right this time? We can't just shoot a councilor on her word. Stealing a ship is different from murder.
Udina's voice cuts through my whirlwind of thoughts. "We don't have time to debate this. We're dead if we stay out here. I'm overriding the lock." Soft steps are followed by the beginning of beeps. He's actually overriding it.
Even if she isn't right, I don't know if opening the elevator doors is the smart choice. Wouldn't she want us to open the doors if she was – and I don't think she is – working with Cerberus? She never wanted to be a Spectre, but once she became one, she took it very seriously. So do I. We're both the Council's 'first and last line of defense.' My mind quickly runs over the idea of her actually being in on a plot to kill the Council. It just doesn't compute. She gave up valuable Alliance ships and people to save them back during Sovereign's attack. Why would she kill them now? I hesitate, gun wavering for a moment. Her comment on Mars echoes through my mind. You always were stubborn. She's right; unless one of us stands down, I can only see this ending one way. "Shepard, look at us. This can't end well. Just…" I take a deep breath. Steady. "Put. It. Down."
The console beeps behind us. It sounds like he's getting close.
"No." My heart sinks as she resets the thermal clip, aiming straight at my chest. Gravity unconsciously forms around me at the hostile motion. She wouldn't… "I'll regret gunning you down for the rest of my life, but I will do it. Don't make me, Kaidan. Please, trust me."
Her voice is as steady as a rock. The grip on her gun is perfect, finger lightly touching the trigger. The expression on her face is as unreadable as ever. She looks ready to put a bullet in my heart.
But I know her better than anyone. That muscle below her ear is tensed and her jaw is clenched. Her stance, while a perfect military pose, isn't hers; she always stands more casually. Bright green eyes stare at me, practically begging me to stand down, to believe her, almost hurt. Guilt surges, washing over me: this is exactly like Horizon all over again. I didn't trust her then, took the Council's word over hers, and it nearly destroyed everything.
Not again.
I trust her, even now. She has no reason to want to take over the Citadel or the Council. They upheld her reinstatement and the turians are already allied with us. A move like this would only destroy any chance at asari support, and she cares about Earth too much to do something that would jeopardize that. I'm not making the same mistake I did on Horizon. I slowly lower my weapon, eyes still held captive by her barely constrained gaze. "I…do."
Her shoulders and gun immediately sink a few notches, right side of her mouth quirking up ever so slightly.
"To hell with this."
An explosion rips through the air from behind me. The next thing I know, Kaelia's on the ground, clutching her shoulder. Her shields were down…what shot her? I spin around and Udina has a gun. Where the hell did he get a… Shit. It's aimed straight at Councilor Sparatus.
He just shot Kaelia.
He's about to shoot the turian councilor.
Oh, hell no.
Anger immediately floods my body, arms instinctively raising to envelope him in a biotic lift. His bullet goes wild as the gun clatters to the ground. Behind me, I hear Kaelia try to mask a hissed curse… He shot her.
He fucking shot her.
My arms fly down, biotic field slamming into the concrete. Udina immediately goes limp as his head bounces against the ground. Unconscious or dead? I'm not sure until blood begins to seep out of his ears. No way is he getting up from that. As the rage-fueled adrenaline fades, I hear a clang from the elevator shaft and it occurs to me that the danger isn't entirely past yet.
A muffled groan makes me twist back around, rushing to kneel next to her. "Shepard…" A quick once over tells me it isn't fatal. He got her in the shoulder, right between the shoulder guard and breast plate; Udina was either an amazing or incredibly lucky shot. It still has to hurt like hell though, and it smells bad. Might be poisoned… I try to make her sit up, Garrus doing the best he can to help.
"The door!" A gravelly turian voice, pitch heightened with stress, echoes off the metal walls.
Dammit. Sparks fly out as the elevator door starts to get sliced open with a torch. Garrus must have hacked the lock good if they need to resort to that.
She shoves me away with her good arm, growling at me. "…Kaidan… Protect the Council. I'll be fine."
"No." The last thing I am going to do is leave her exposed like this. No way, no how. I already failed to protect her when the Normandy blew up before, and that is not going to happen again. Before she can argue in response, I grab the arm that didn't get shot and drag her across the floor, shoving her behind me. I push my barrier, weak from that exertion, far out enough to cover us both and – by proxy – the two councilors standing behind us.
Through my armor, I feel her arm pushing against my leg. A quick glance down tells me that she's still got her gun aimed at the door. Fighting no matter what; it's so her. Not the time to revel in how she still acts like the same person, there could be a huge group of Cerberus about to blow us all away. I pop out the heat sink in my pistol, new one shoved into place as I aim at approximately head-level.
Seconds tick by, Garrus tensely readying a sticky bomb from his vantage point in the corner. I don't even want to blink in case I miss it. Everyone seems to be holding their breath.
Finally the doors crack open, C-Sec officers in navy blue pouring through the doorway. Commander Bailey is at the head of them, pistol trained on us. We both blink at each other for a moment before lowering our defenses.
Her voice sounds as surprised as we all must look. "Bailey?"
"Made it as fast as we could, Shepard. Looks like you, uh…" His eyes quickly scanned the scene: Shepard shot in the shoulder, me protecting them all, the two councilors behind us looking scared, Udina dead and bleeding near the console. "Took care of things."
He doesn't sound that surprised, even with a dead councilor. Wonder why… I hear Kaelia clear her throat. "Is the way safe behind you?"
Bailey nods shortly, proud. "Cerberus was right here, but they beat feet into the keeper tunnels when they figured out that we were coming." Doubtful that's why they fled, but I won't say that. Those were heavily trained and armed soldiers chasing us; they must have been ordered to retreat.
Time to take charge. "Then evacuate the Council." I motion to the woman still sitting behind me. "I need to patch Shepard up."
"I'm fine." She glares up at me, far too used to being in command. Being invincible.
Several C-Sec officers scurry around us, herding Councilors Tevos and Sparatus toward the landing platform. I kneel to hiss at her and reach for her shoulder guard. "Like hell you are. Sit still; it's not the first time I've had to patch you up." Damnably stubborn woman. I yank my gloves off and get to work delicately twisting her armor apart, sliding the arm plates over her hands first. At least she isn't physically fighting it…probably would hurt too much.
"You have saved my life twice now, Shepard." Sparatus's voice reaches us from behind us. A quick glance back shows me he's actually standing at attention. Huh, respect from him? That's new. "I owe you a personal debt as well as one on behalf of Palaven." I focus on gently pulling the mesh up so I can see the actual bullet wound. Blech, it's not a pretty one. The smell of fried tech wafts up to my nose; damn, Udina used a disruptor mod…it would've ripped through her shields if she had any up. I frown as I inspect the bruising. He planned this whole thing from the start.
I see a strained shake of red hair out of the corner of my eye. "Kaidan's the one who got Udina, not me. And you don't owe either of us a thing, Councilor. Times like this are when we all have to stick together."
Guilt weighs me down as I register her last sentence. It was definitely meant for me as well. She always did have a way with words when trying to make a pointed statement. I'm not the only one whose conscience is feeling it, though; Tevos's soft voice is laced with embarrassment as she reassures us, "We won't forget this, Commander. Major."
"Alright, people. Evacuate the principals to the Ascension. We have a tunnel and a million other places to secure. Move it." Bailey's voice strengthens as he starts do what he does best: order people around. I go about carefully seeing if I can pull the shard of metal out of her shoulder. As soon as his agents escort the two councilors into a shuttle, he turns and watches us. "You need me to send a medic?"
Before I can do more than softly shake my head, Kaelia's voice cuts through. "No."
"Okay, okay." The shuttle door clanks shut and I assume Bailey flew off with the rest of them. It's quiet now, the only sound the crackle of burning rubble around us. A few long moments later, I come to the conclusion that this piece of metal isn't coming out here. I'm no doctor, and I don't have any tools either. I reach down to pull a spare medi-gel from my belt, opening it slowly. I never was good at opening them; more likely to spill it all over my armor than hit the spot that needed it. The invention of medi-gel injectors in suits was a huge relief for me.
I'm almost jarred when Garrus's voice rings in my ears. I had forgotten he was here…
"Good thing Udina was a horrible shot, Shepard." The turian sits down next to us, watching me gingerly slather medi-gel on her bullet wound.
I shoot her an apologetic glance when she sighs in pain. We both look over to him, Kaelia voicing the question we're both clearly thinking. "What do you mean?"
The initial smugness in his voice is a long-forgotten sound to me. I haven't heard it in years…forgot how much he loved teasing people. "You missed it because you two were too busy gazing at each other." Garrus's voice evened out as he continued, more sober. "But he had murder in his eyes. He was not aiming to disable."
"Speaking of that, why weren't your shields up?" I grab a small piece of gauze and place it over the medi-gel, softly creating a bandage. She always had her shields active, even when walking around in public.
Her good shoulder rose carelessly. "They were fried on the way here. Wasn't going to let something like no shields stop me from doing my job." Such a damnably stubborn woman. I try to keep my proud smirk from poking through, biting the inside of my cheek. She hasn't changed at all from what I remember.
"You done yet?" She's also as impatient as I remember. I can't help but crack a smile at that, quickly facing away. Garrus's comment about gazing at each other wasn't lost on me.
My fingers carefully apply the last piece of medical tape before sitting back with a nod. "Yeah, I think so. Get Chakwas to remove the shard pretty soon, though."
A sardonic, self-deprecating laugh erupts from her throat. "What's one more little chunk of metal in me?" My heart sinks a little at the comment about her resurrection; when did she become so bitter? Was that my fault? I can't help but glance back over at her, frowning. We both always loved making jokes to break the tension, but that wasn't a friendly jab at herself, that was caustic anger. I somehow manage to find some restraint and keep myself from reaching to touch her cheek when she looks back at me.
Whatever she sees in my expression – the worry, the longing, the confusion, I don't know – makes her blink again, cynicism fading. "…Hey, uh. Thanks. For trusting me." Before we can begin staring at each other again, she slowly uses her good hand to try and stand. Garrus and I both quickly help her get up.
"You're welcome." I look around quickly, grabbing my gun off the ground and holstering it. My eyes drift across Udina's body, stomach twisting a bit. Dead bodies don't bother me, even ones that I helped kill, but the way it all went down starts to really sink in. Sure, he was a threat: he had shot Kaelia, and he was getting ready to shoot the turian councilor. I had to take him out, protect the Council, but…that's not why I did it. Uncomfortable regret makes me shift from foot to foot as I stare at the blood slowly beginning to congeal around his head. Where I slammed him to the ground in anger. I didn't kill Udina because I was trying to protect people; I killed him because I was furious that he had shot Kaelia. The realization makes me nauseous. I need to get out of here and think. Or maybe get drunk at home and not think. I'm not sure. I start to scratch the back of my neck as blood drains from my face, not entirely sure if it's shock or an adrenaline low. "I, uh. Need to take care of some things. When will you guys be leaving?"
Her voice lowers, bare hand reaching to touch my shoulder for a moment. She gets it. Of course she would, why wouldn't she? It's her, right? "Probably not until tomorrow. I'll put in an official report and whatnot; I doubt they'll need more evidence with three councilor testimonies, but I'll be sure to let them know what happened."
The attempt at comforting me is appreciated, but ultimately futile. I'm beginning to get sick the longer I think about the pure rage, the uncontrolled power coursing through me as I slammed him into the ground. Flashes of Vyrnnus play through my mind. I had promised myself I would never do that again. "Good…good luck out there. I need to go." My eyes finally tear away from Udina's body, avoiding her gaze; I wouldn't be able to stand it. My feet quickly carry me back toward the elevator.
"Kaidan." Garrus's voice reaches me this time, stopping me dead in my tracks. Garrus and I were close friends once, practically brothers. All this damn tension from the Normandy's destruction, Cerberus, Horizon… My head droops; I miss him, too. "You going to be okay?"
No, I'm probably not going to be okay. I sigh and stand straight, back to the both of them. I can practically feel their concern bouncing off me. "Yeah…I'm good." I wish I were a better liar.
Her voice seems further away, toward the ledge. I can only assume that the Normandy's shuttle is picking them up as a dull engine noise moves closer. "Alright. Come by the Normandy before we leave, okay?"
It may seem like a placating move, but it's actually probably more selfishly motivated than not. If I know her, anyway. We both know I'm not the best when it comes to thinking alone. I nod and begin to fiddle with the elevator's control pad. Garrus hacked it pretty well, but I always was one of the better tech experts in our group. I'll get it working again.
"Don't think too hard. That's my job." Kaelia's last comment to me before they were whisked away by a shuttle breaks my concentration. It's the same thing she said to me after we had our talk about Ash and Virmire.
"It was my call and I have to live with it." If it weren't for the freshly wiped away tears glistening on her face, you wouldn't know she had been crying. "That's why I'm in command. It's my responsibility and whether it was the right call or not, you know the reasons for my decision."
I paused, unsure if asking the question on the tip of my tongue was wise or not. A moment later, I decided to take the plunge anyway. We were already way out of line, secretively meeting and comforting each other in her room. "So…we…didn't have any influence on it?"
Green eyes whipped up to mine, hurt flooding them. "No, and the fact that you think it might have is insulting." Damn, she's right; that was the ultimate insult, suggesting she could have let personal feelings get another soldier killed.
I looked away, sighing. "I'm sorry, you're right. I'm thinking too much."
She stood up and motioned to the door, face impassive again. Back to duty. "Don't think too hard. That's my job."
They either did the best job in the world building a cyborg VI that was exactly like her, or Cerberus actually rebuilt that same woman. I suddenly realize that I don't care which the truth is. If this attack on the Citadel has proved one thing to me, it's that anything can happen and anyone can die at any time. The galaxy is in utter chaos and there's only one place I want to be. Advanced VI, AI, actually resurrected… It doesn't matter. The odds aren't in our favor to actually win this war, and all I want is to be with her – or some version of her – before the end. Call me selfish, I don't care.
I stop fiddling with the panel and pop my omni-tool up. Time to get my headache under control, make sure it wasn't due to the biotics I used earlier, and then I'm going to track her down. "Spectre Alenko here, requesting extraction in the Presidium. Not wounded, but I still need transport to the hospital. Elevators are out of order. Sending coordinates."
A/N: Hi there! As I promised, the ending of my epilogue wasn't the last thing I was going to write, but my writing was going to slow down a bit. I just accepted an amazing job offer on top of everything else, so apologies if things move more slowly. That was my head canon interpretation of the Citadel standoff scene in ME3! I definitely deviated a little from the vanilla there, but one night that change (her getting shot) just hit me! Inspiration! And there we have it. I am unsure if I'll add the Kaidan recruitment scene as a chapter or a separate piece. We shall see! I hope you enjoyed this piece. Please drop me a line if you did! ^_^
