So this is my first self-insert on my own, as well as the first time I'm attempting to publish a Final Fantasy fanfiction sooo... Yeah. I'm pretty nervous about this, but I'm also doing it because I'd like to improve as a writer in general. Constructive criticism is very welcome, but just bashing and flaming me will not make this a better story, so don't even bother.

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XII, I don't even own most of the plot, just the pieces I made up for the hell of it. Oh! But I do own myself, Palma, and her crew/ship thingy.

Enjoy!


Opening my eyes a little I felt my eyes burn from daylight, flooding into them painfully. It just made my head hurt even worse than it was from whatever I was lying on; it was about as comfortable as the ground covered in pointy rocks. This didn't feel like my home, my bed, or anything familiar to me, the scents around me were all wrong, the sounds were non-existent.

The thing that bothered me the most though was that it was unbearably hot, more so than what I was used to in Texas… This didn't feel like my room, and that's because it wasn't. Sitting up slowly I looked around to find that all around me was sand and more sand on top of that. How on Earth does a person go to sleep on her big purple bed, and end up in a Godforsaken desert?

After a few moments of mental swearing and dread I finally got up from the sand slowly, afraid that I'd end up making myself sick somehow out in this heat. If a person like myself could survive out here, then someone was obviously sticking out for me in the great beyond, it's not like I'm the fittest person in the world. Pretty far from it actually, I'm a short, somewhat sickly, busty girl who's a shut in to her own atomic family, though I've got plenty of physical experience…

Looking behind me, I could see a bunch of sand flying up and I could feel a tremor beneath my feet becoming even more prominent as I stood there in one spot. "GET OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY!" I heard a faint voice shouting at me but from the distance it sounded really small, and almost high pitched. Giggling slightly as a mental image came to mind, it seemed like the vehicle was slowing down because the sand storm was beginning to die down. All because stupid, little, ole' me wouldn't get out of the way; the transportation itself didn't look exactly the quick turning type as it was.

The shape of it was kind of like an old sailing ship, but it was pulled by large yellow birds; Chocobos. Looking up at the large stained sails I understood that whatever wind they could get behind them was to lighten the load on the birds so the ship would move faster.

"Just who in the bloody hell do you think you are?" A roughened female voice shouted at me, I had failed to notice a few of the crew had jumped down to the ground to see who the heck was in their way. Looking at how she was dressed, and then down at myself I looked at her curiously. The woman looked something like a pirate captain, but where the boots should've met her leather soles, the leather was lifted up and thongs were seen going between her toes like sandals. When I didn't reply she grabbed the front of my shirt, yanking me forward roughly so that her face was only inches from mine, "I asked you, who you think you are? Just standing here in the middle of the desert like a complete loon like you is." She scolded me, allowing me to notice that she had a British accent. "Do I have to repeat myself?" She asked in a threatening tone and I shook my head, finally beginning to pay attention to the woman now that one of her mates was joining her, grabbing a pistol from her holster for her. "No ma'am… I'm just kind of stranded here. I don't know who I think I am, or where I am." I tried to explain and she rolled her eyes, shoving me backwards so I landed on my butt.

"We've got another straggler, boys, take her below deck. We don't need any more fools to pop out in front of us do we?" She asked, grabbing onto a rope and easily pulled herself back up onto the ship.

"'Scuse me miss, but you're to be coming with us." One of the men said to me with a grin, several of his teeth missing as he tossed me onto his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. It felt like I just got elbowed in the stomach when I landed on his boney yet muscular shoulder, obviously getting the wind knocked out of you never got any more pleasant as it happened.

Being treated like a rag doll by the men of the crew, I was handed from one to the other to eventually be put down in the bottom of the ship. Until now, I had never really realized how embarrassing life could get, but being tied to a very stupid looking statue was like the low of low right now. The woman from earlier joined me minutes later, taking her three-point hat off as she looked at me. "Now tell me this child, who are you?" She asked her eyes narrowing as I gave her another glance over. "… Isn't it manners to provide your own name before asking another?" I asked in reply and she smirked, "A smart one aren't you? I suppose fair is fair between women…" She muttered before pacing away from me, "I am Palma, Lady of the Desert and this is my ship you're on. We're on our way to Dalmasca for a good heist while Ambassador Vayne is primping for the Empire." Palma explained before looking at me for my name now. "… Leah." I replied shortly, shifting against the statue uncomfortably.

"Now then… Do you want to cut a deal and get off that bloody ugly piece of clay, or be stuck on it?" Palma asked and I gave her a funny look. "… What's the deal?" I asked hesitantly, and she smirked, "You become one of my crew until we reach Dalmasca. You help us pull off the heist, and happily ever after, we can forget about each other." She explained and I thought about it. Stealing wasn't the biggest crime to ever be committed… "… Alright, I'll do it as long as we're not stealing from anyone poor." I replied and she smiled, cutting the knot off of the ropes easily. "Wouldn't dream of it love." She told me, her expression saying that she had expected me to agree.

Looking at the buildings spiraling upward I felt a little amazed to see such huge structures after seeing how the pirates were traveling. So far, Palma had explained there were land pirates, or rather bandits like herself, and then there were sky pirates who flew on ships up above us in the sky. So far only about six sky ships had been low enough to the ground for me to get a look at them, but I had already become fond of them.

I'd also been traveling with Palma's crew for about two days now, and I'd been given 'proper clothes' as my sort of pirate friend had told me. Then we ended up burning my old clothes in a fire for the night… I guess it isn't a big deal considering I didn't even like those pajamas, but anyways back to the point.

Pulling up to the check in station, one of Palma's men explained that they were coming in to deliver supplies for some sort of feast going on up at the palace. Checking the visa, the guards spoke to each other for a few minutes before nodding and putting a stamp on the papers for the shipment to go through.