Warnings: This story has slash, and is crackish, don't like, don't read.
Pairings: Severus Snape/ Harry Potter.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter series.
The Little Voices
He is so hot!
Harry had long since known he was crazy, he accepted it, told his two best friends they accepted. Told all the Gryffindors, and oddly enough they had accepted it. He told Sirius, and Remus, they gave him odd looks but accepted it none the less.
Just look at those hands, you know you want to be handled like that!
And that voice! Just makes you melt!
He was pretty sure it had something to do with Voldemort or maybe he was just dropped on the head as a baby, or maybe his mom took drugs well she was pregnant with him, or maybe she stood near the microwave. They say you're not supposed to do that while with child. Something about radiation and all that… it didn't matter though, what did matter was that he had little voices in his head, which talked to him.
God, I bet he's hung like a horse!
Really perverted voices, that were currently molesting his potions professor.
"Mr. Potter"
Omg!
Omg!
"Yes, sir?"
"I've been calling you for the past three minutes"
"Sorry sir"
"Indeed, would you be so kind as to tell me and the class what has you so occupied?"
Us bent over your desk and you screwing our brains out!
"It's probably best if you don't know sir"
Hermione, Ron and the Gryffindor all snorted, knowing all too well what was going on in their Golden Boy's head. This did not help their Professor's mood.
"Oh, really then I suppose you don't mind if you have a detention, tonight 7 and don't be late"
Yes he going to punish us, I hope he spanks us!
Harry just groaned and let his head hit the table.
~.~
He wasn't sure why he was here, okay he knew why he was here, and it still annoyed the hell out of him. Then again…. eyes narrowed and a feral grinned appeared as he watched the children go about. Perhaps there were some benefits to this.
He did need new members.
~.~
"You two are a source of evil, you know that right?"
Aww, you know you love us
Harry grumbled as he entered and took his seat next to Ron and Neville, the two ignored it already use to this behavior, though it did amaze them that no one else notice Harry's odd behavior.
"THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE!"
…Then again
Up at the head table Severus raised a brow at the boy's outburst, as well as everyone else, well the Gryffindors snickered, and Severus got the feeling that this was normal.
The question was why anyone didn't notice before?
Severus went back to eating, not even caring, it wasn't his problem.
Oh how wrong he was.
Back at the Gryffindor table….
He's looking at us!
Quick do something sexy!
"Like what?"
See that banana
"For the last time, no"
Fine, the strawberries then.
"What am I going to do with those?"
Welll…..
"Never mind"
"Harry pass the Pumpkin Juice"
"Here you go"
Okay, so no bananas, or strawberries…how about an orange?
"How does that work?"
I think it's in the Karma Sutra.
Yep, absolutely normal.
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