Quogan
So, Logan just kissed me. Logan Reese. They guy who made fun of me for building robots and called me a spaz and has never asked me to kiss him like every other girl on campus. And then Michael and Zoey rode by on a horse. Quite frankly, I don't know which is more incredible. My odds of seeing a horse on campus are much more likely than Logan Reese kissing me, so I guess the fucking planets aligned or something for both to happen within like two fucking minutes of each other.
I really wanted to talk to Logan about it. And I was going to, but when I was reeling in my heartbeat he must have got on his Jet-X and, ya know, jetted away. He probably just felt embarrassed for kissing Quinn Pensky. Not that I blame him. I'm pretty embarrassing, and not worth ruining your reputation over. Whatever. I need to just forget about it.
Quinn lifted herself up off the bench and took a deep breath. Slinging off the ridiculous shoes, she started walking back to her room. She needed to take a shower. Zoey was right, and changing what you look like won't work to get guys, or get them back. You can't change who you are, but Quinn didn't want to change who she was. Being rejected after she slutted herself up made her realize: if Mark didn't love her for all her Quinn-ness, then she needed to be with people who did. Zoey, Lola, Chase and Michael were all great friends, and she knew they loved her like she loved them. Logan might even feel something for her, though she didn't know what it was, and it was killing her to admit that she felt excited from the top of her head to the tips of her toes over it. He was obnoxious, but he'd shown he cared about them. He was loyal, and his confidence was charming… and… well he was attractive. He had such a big smile and the cutest teeth against his stunning tan skin that matched perfectly with his curly, bronze hair and…
I am not thinking about this right now. I am not thinking about Logan. Or his smile. Or his arms… or how much I'd like him to kiss me again…. Stop!
Quinn literally stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath. It was a good thing, too, because her nose was about two centimeters from a lamppost. She shook her head and continued on, swearing she wouldn't think about Logan anymore.
Of course, that was a lie. As Quinn stripped down in the shower stall and hung her clothes on the hook, she turned and looked at herself full-on in the mirror hanging on the stall door. I'm not hideous, she thought. I'm not as skinny as Lola, and my breasts aren't as full as Zoey's, but I've got some curves. And I have clear skin. And I've gotten lots of compliments on my hair. Quinn wasn't used to guys falling over her, but Mark liked her. Of course, he got over me. She was disappointed in that thought; she felt inadequate for not being able to give Mark what he wanted, when she thought he really loved her. Taking one last look at her body, she stepped into the shower and turned the water on. It was warm, but not too hot. The water sliding down her body felt like caresses and the temperature reminded her of Logan's hands on her face when they kissed. His hands were soft and smooth, and they felt accepting and safe. For that one brief kiss, she didn't have to be anybody else but Quinn. She hated admitting it, but Mark never made her feel that way. The more Quinn thought about the kiss, she thought about how much farther she wished it had gone.
Instead of breaking apart, his hands would skim down her bare arms until they reached her waist. He would pull her closer and deepen the kiss, as her arms wound around his neck and fingers curled into his soft hair. His hand would slide up her back while the other squeezed her hip. As her tongue slid into his mouth, he would pull her into him, so that their chests were touching, and his hand would move from her hip to her bare thigh...
As Quinn felt a wetness that was not water, she stopped herself. She didn't even realize she'd been panting under the rolling water. She quickly lathered her hair with shampoo, washing out the hair spray. She washed off all the makeup she caked on and used stress-relief body wash to lather her body. No matter how much she scrubbed, she couldn't erase the feeling of Logan's arms touching hers, but she didn't think she wanted to forget anyway.
As Quinn was wrapped in a robe, sitting on her couch and brushing her hair, Logan was holding a basketball on his stomach, thinking about her. I can't believe I kissed her. What the hell was I thinking? She just broke up with Mark for fuck's sake! I know I'm stupid, but I can't believe I took advantage of her like that. Wait a second… Am I actually thinking about Quinn's feelings? She doesn't even like me. But if she didn't like me, why did she kiss me back?
"LOGAN!Dude, what is up with you?" Michael shouted at his roommate. "You've been staring at that ceiling for like forty goddamn minutes, muttering to yourself. Could you be a little less creepy?"
"Oh, sorry, man," Logan mumbled. "I've just got something on my mind." He turned his head to Michael and gave him a small smile of apology.
"Do you want to talk about it, dude? I've got all day. Or, until my date with Lisa." Michael was really a great friend. Logan felt bad he was always such an asshole.
"Nah, man. Thanks, though." Logan started tossing the ball into the air and catching it, thinking about Quinn's lips and how good they felt pressed against his. Quinn had always been the most unconventionally beautiful of his three female friends. She had that cute little mole above her lip, and those seriously intelligent eyes. Best of all, though, was that gorgeous, long brown hair. He regretted that he didn't run his fingers through it when he had the chance. He could feel himself getting worked up over thinking about Quinn, and he was kind of wishing Michael would leave soon.
Michael did leave about an hour early; he was not patient when it came to Lisa. Or food. Logan was about to reach into his pants when Chase walked in. Embarrassed, he sat up and waved. "How's it goin?"
"I'm cool, man. How's it?" Chase said with a lop-sided smile.
"Ya know, just taking the rest of the night off." Logan replied nonchalantly.
"Like usual?" Chase retorted.
In response, Logan threw the basketball at him. I've got to apologize to Quinn. I shouldn't have done that. She was in a weak moment.
But that doesn't mean he can't think about her. There's always the shower.
Logan was ready. He had rehearsed. He knew exactly what he was going to say to her. Quinn shared his English class, the last class of the day. After class, he was going to ask her to go get a coffee with him. But he wasn't actually going to take her for coffee. He was going to pull her aside into the third floor hallway near the old AV room and apologize for taking advantage of her. Logan had been restless all day since he decided today would be the day. It had already been three days since they kissed, and neither of them had spoken a word, though he thought he caught Quinn looking over at him yesterday. He dreamed about her last night.
She was draped across his bare chest, with her gorgeous hair running down like silk on his chest and arm. She looked up at him and smiled, the most gorgeous smile, like she was living a dream to be in his arms. Her skin was soft and warm on his, and he pulled her closer. He took his hand and brushed it across her face and into her hair as he leaned down to kiss her…
Then he woke up. Talk about disappointing. As he looked up from his reverie, he realized there was only five minutes left in class. He was suddenly very, very nervous. He looked down at his open notebook to the blank pages there and took in a deep breath. When class dismissed, he hung back, stuffing his backpack slowly. As Quinn walked by him, he brushed his hand down her arm and grabbed her hand. As she jerked around, he let go. Losing his breath, he asked, "Doyouwannagopickupacoffeewithme?"
Looking down at where his hand was just in hers, she replied, "Uhm…sure." Then Logan turned and walked out of the room. As they got to the T in the hallways, he grabbed her elbow and dragged her down the hallway where no one could see or hear them.
Oh my god I can't believe I've touched her twice already.
She dreamed about him last night.
She was pushed back against his chest, in between his legs, with his arms wrapped around her sitting on the couch in the lounge. They were sitting with all of their friends, nothing changed but the fact that they were together now. As everyone's eyes were glued to the television, he placed a finger under her chin and turned her toward him. He leaned down and kissed her, while running his fingers through her hair. As they pulled apart, they smiled at each other. She turned back around and nestled her head into the crook of his neck and he tightened his arms around her, keeping her safe from anything that might threaten her happiness. Their happiness.
And now he was asking her out for coffee? She could hardly believe it. She didn't know what the hell to think about it. This was Logan fucking Reese, for god's sake. He didn't date girls, and he definitely didn't date girls like Quinn Pensky. But she couldn't ignore the butterflies in her stomach. However, instead of heading down the stairwell, he pulled into the old AV hallway, which was now mostly storage. Maybe he'll kiss me again.
But then he stopped, dropped her arm, and turned to face her. He looked very, very serious. "Quinn, I'm sorry. The other day, what we did, was a total mistake." He looked up at her apologetically. "It was just an accident, a fluke. I should never have kissed you."
Right then was when her butterflies turned to nausea. Her face fell, and she felt the tears burn her eyes. She would not cry in front of him. He kissed her, and now he was telling her about his regret. He can hurt her, but he doesn't need to know he did. "That's fine. I totally agree. It was a fucked up thing to do." She sneered at him. She crossed her arms and jutted out her hip. "Anything else?"
At the anger in her voice, Logan looked away from her. "It just wasn't the right situation. I'm really sorry, Quinn."
Quinn let out a bark of angry laughter. "At least I was right."
"What do you mean?"
"My outfit worked." He actually had the nerve to look hurt. "Oh please. Don't trouble yourself, Logan. I can see this kind of effort is taxing your brain." At that, she turned around and darted down the hallway, down the stairs and ran as far as she could, her backpack banging behind her as she went.
The hurt in her eyes almost made him go after her. What good would it do, though? She deserved better than Logan Reese.
When she ran out of breath and the tears finally overwhelmed her, she stopped. She slid down a wall and let her backpack fall down her shoulders. She leaned her head against the cool concrete and let the tears escape.
Maybe I'm just not meant to be a person's forever. I'm simply meant to be the mistake. The example of what you don't want. The remember-that-one-summer. The girl you saw but never noticed. The friend everyone will eventually forget about. The girl you left behind when something better came along… I guess I should just take what I can get.
Interrupting her reverie, Lola and Zoey came rushing toward Quinn. "Quinn, what the hell?" Lola yelled. "Are you all right? Why are you crying on the sidewalk?"
Zoey leaned down and put her hand on her friend's shoulder, "Let's get you back to the room." Quinn couldn't say thank you, she just nodded. She knew she could never tell her friends what the problem was, but the fact that they were there was enough.
"I am the biggest fucking idiot! Why didn't I start off with 'I didn't want to take advantage of you.' Now I didn't even get to tell her. She's going to hate me forever. I just wanted to kiss her again." Logan was beyond frustrated.
"Kiss who? And why are you stressin' over her?" Chase had walked in while Logan was screaming. Logan took the pillow of his bed and threw it across the room. Breathing hard, he collapsed onto the sofa. "Seriously, man. You're not okay. Talk to me." Chase sat down on the table across from Logan.
Logan looked up at his friend. Letting out a big sigh, "You are not allowed to tell anyone else. Not even Zoey. I know you two are trying to 'figure it all out' but this is my secret. I desperately need your sappy romantic advice."
"Shoot, man."
"I kissed Quinn the other day, after she broke up with Mark. I tried to apologize to her today, saying that it was a big mistake. She ran off, pissed as hell. I just felt so bad for taking advantage of her, but now she thinks I just saw her as a piece of ass." Logan was rambling.
Chase held up his hands. "Woah. Did you actually say to her that it was about taking advantage of her? Or do you actually think it was a mistake?"
"Jesus, no, man. She was vulnerable. I shouldn't have taken advantage of her. Truth is, I would do it again, over and over." Logan looked distraught.
"This girl has done something to you, man. Do you mind if I help?" Chase was expectant. He and Zoey were a problem solving team.
"If you can fix this, I'll kiss you." Logan was obviously not very confident.
"Uh, no thanks. But I promise we'll get this shit done." Chase stood up, grabbed his phone and dialed Zoey.
"Zo, I really don't feel like going to a movie. No offense, but I haven't had the greatest day." Quinn was honestly a little annoyed. Zoey was great, but she was pushing a little too hard right now.
"Quinn, I know you're upset, but I don't feel comfortable leaving you in this dorm by yourself to wallow. I'm not going to pressure you to tell me what's going on, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try and make it okay."
Quinn felt bad for snapping at Zoey. She was a great friend. "You're right, Zo. Let me just get dressed."
"Of course, if you want to tell us what's up, that would be great," Lola added.
"And we already picked out an outfit for you." Zoey smiled. She took it off the hanger in the closet and set it down on her bed. "Lola and I gotta do a hair and makeup check. We'll be back in a few."
Quinn rolled her eyes at her friends. They should get some Barbie dolls. She threw off her big t shirt and cotton cheerleading shorts. She stepped into the black pin striped shorts and pulled the teal v neck over her head. It was very cute, without revealing too much or being too tight. She was slipping on her shoes when Lola and Zoey came back. They were gorgeous in their summer dresses, per usual. "I think the three of us look pretty hot. I mean, damn. We should be in girl band or some shit," Lola stated.
"Let's go pick up Chase and Michael. If we don't go get them, they'll forget about us." Zoey headed toward the door.
"Like Chase could ever forget about you," Lola teased.
Quinn hung back for a second, gathering herself. Being around Chase, Zoey, Michael, Lisa and Lola was going to be hard. I'll just sit on the end near Lola. She looked at herself one more time in the mirror, and then walked out to join her friends.
Stopping at the boys' dorm, Quinn decided to wait in the hallway. If Logan was in there, she didn't want to see him. She was still stinging from the rejection. She knew it was Logan, but still. He had kissed her so tenderly, and she wanted to believe he felt something for her.
"Can Quinn come fix my computer?" She heard Michael say.
"On it!" She walked ahead into the room. Looking up, she saw Logan on his top bunk, but then headed straight for the computer. "What's wrong with it?" Looking back at Michael, he had a weird expression on his face. "What the fuck is going on? I know that face."
"What face? I don't have a face," Michael blinked innocently.
"Shut up. You all are wearing the same face right now. It's that schemer face. I know it, because I've schemed with you guys and I've worn that face. And the only people without that face right now are me and Logan. And I know I didn't say shit, so Logan said shit and told one of you who told someone else and now all of you know and someone better explain right fucking now." Quinn was seething.
"Quinn, calm down. Logan's a mess over what he said. He wants to talk it out, and we knew you'd never come talk to him on your own. We're sorry for tricking you, but you can be really stubborn," Chase smiled with his lop-sided smile, and Zoey slipped her arm around him.
"Quinn." She looked up at the boy in the top bunk, face frozen. "Stay. Please. Give me one more chance to explain."
She didn't know what it was. All of her friends standing behind her, knowing they would never let her leave or let go of this if she did, or the boy in the top bunk. He was staring right into her eyes, looking worried and scared. It can't kill me. If he rejects me again, it can't hurt worse. And if he doesn't…well, I'll think about that only if I need to.
"Okay! Christ, I'll stay and talk to him." Spinning around to her friends, "But don't think this means you all are in the clear with me. This was so not cool."
Zoey came forward, hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "This is the right thing to do, babe."
The door opened, and Lisa popped her head in. "Are you guys ready?" Michael nodded at her. Lola followed Michael out the door, and Chase grabbed Zoey's hand. He waved at Logan and Quinn, and before she walked out the door, Zoey gave Quinn a wink.
"How majorly pissed do you think she is?" Lola was worried about her friend. Logan could be a creep, and she didn't want her to get hurt, especially if her own friends pushed her into it.
"If they make up, she'll be over it by the time the movie's over," Michael said.
"Yeah, Logan was really upset. I bet he'll do whatever he needs to make her happy again." Chase was really proud of his friend for stepping up with Quinn. Plus, they'd be cute together, arguing all the time. He looked at Zoey, and she looked at him. They had a feeling it would work out.
As the door shut, Quinn ran her hands through her hair. She was beyond pissed. Her friends conned her into being stuck in this room with Logan. As she heard the bed frame creak behind her, she turned around. Logan was standing across from her, sheepishly with his hands in the pockets of his shorts.
"Okay. What?" Quinn huffed and jutted her hip out again.
"Listen, Quinn. Earlier, things didn't come out right." Logan cleared his throat. "I do think that kissing you was a mistake, and I shouldn't have done it, but I—"
"Are you fucking serious? This is how you wanted to talk it out? By rejecting me a second time? You're un-fucking-believable." Quinn raised her hand to slap him, but Logan caught it. As she raised her other hand, he caught that one and pulled them both behind her back. As a result, they were pushed chest to chest, each one breathing hard.
"Just shut up and listen to me!" He took a breath, trying to calm down. "Quinn, I shouldn't have kissed you. But not because I don't want you," he breathed.
"W-what? What are you talking about?" His closeness, his skin against hers, was disorienting. She caught herself staring at his lips and pulled her eyes back up to his.
"It was a mistake because I shouldn't have taken advantage of you. You were vulnerable, and I made a move on you. It was really despicable." He was moving closer to her, without realizing it. "I feel sick to my stomach when I think about it. I'm sorry, Quinn." At that, he released her hands and stepped back. He backed up until he hit the wall in between the television and the closet door. He pulled his hands through his hair and then stuffed them back into his pockets. He looked down at his shoes.
Quinn couldn't move. She couldn't even breathe. H was apologizing to her. He cared about her. The notion was ridiculous; she actually let out a snort. At the noise, he jerked his head up and his expression was pure pain. She looked down then. She took a few steps toward him. "I'm sorry, Logan. I don't find this funny. It's just really unbelievable. You're Logan Reese. And I'm me. You don't want girls like me."
"You're right. I don't want girls like you," Logan said simply. At this, she stepped back, but wouldn't look at him. "I don't want girls like you, because I only want you. I meant what I said. Mark is an idiot. If you gave me the chance to love you, I would never let you go."
Quinn snapped her head up. She couldn't believe her ears. Logan was practically telling her he loved her. She was in shock. He'd never let me go. He'd never reject me. Maybe I could be his forever. She stopped thinking then. She just stepped toward him. He was looking straight into her eyes.
"I'm going to apologize now for what I'm about to do."
Logan strode toward her and placed his mouth on hers. Like he'd been dreaming about for days, he pulled his fingers through her silky hair. She put her hands on his chest. Remembering what it felt like to have her pressed against him, Logan spun her around and pushed her up against the wall. He trailed his fingers through her hair and down her back until they rested on her hips. He pulled her hips into his and leaned into her chest. Her hands were roaming all over him. She started on his chest, and moved up to his neck and across his lean shoulders. She felt down his arms and then back up, down his chest to his muscular stomach. Like in her daydream, he squeezed her hip, and she let out a yelp of pleasure at his desire. As they kissed deeper, the skin on her stomach began to show from under her t shirt, and Logan let his fingers caress the skin there. She shivered and pulled him closer to her. He grew bolder at her acceptance and pushed both of his hands up her shirt to feel her skin; he pushed up to her ribs and down her back. The warmth of his hands burned her up inside and she quickly raked her fingers under his shirt and felt his hard abs. Logan pulled his hands and mouth away quick enough to pull the sleeveless shirt over his head and throw it somewhere in the room. Quinn took the opportunity and placed her hands back on his chest, and he placed his hands on her lower back and pulled her into him. He smiled at her, and their lips met again. She pushed her tongue into his mouth and they tasted each other. Logan was on fire, and he was worried Quinn would be put off by the bulge in his shorts. As she trailed her fingers down his muscular back, she pushed into him. She has to know how turned on I am right now. Does it not bother her? He simply moved his hands back up to her ribcage, tickling her slightly until she twisted in his arms and brought her neck to his attention. He broke off the kiss and trailed small kisses down her jaw and neck. I have never been touched like this. I should feel frightened, but I feel safe. As he pecked at her neck and shoulders, she twisted her fingers into his hair and panted. When he brought his mouth back up to hers, she kissed him as deeply as she could. Then she pulled away.
"You don't ever need to be sorry for doing that." She smiled at him.
She slid out of his arms and away from the wall. Confused, he followed her as she stepped near the bed. Climbing up onto his bed, she looked down and beckoned for him to follow her. When he got to the top, she lay down and patted the space beside her. When he laid down next to her and got a good look in her eyes, he kissed her forehead, then her nose, and then her mouth again. It was tender this time, a kiss of acceptance of what was going to be from now on. They continued to kiss and caress each others' bodies. As Logan kept tickling her ribs, Quinn sat up and pulled her shirt off, leaving her in just her bra. "It's only fair." Of course, he wasn't going to argue. The kisses and caresses became longer and less frenzied as their brains processed the thought that they'll have as long as they want to do this.
As Logan looked at her, Quinn felt her cheeks heating up. She scooted toward him and buried her face in his shoulder. He put his arms around her and pulled her close. "I'll never let you go, Quinn." She looked up at him, kissed him slowly. "You'll never have to."
As she let Logan's warmth penetrate every part of her body, Quinn drifted off, accepted and content in the arms of her forever.
