Clairvoyance
[N/M][One-Shot] "Did you hate that much that you couldn't even stand staying in the same country as I was?" It was my turn to clench my fingers.
Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice belongs to Tachibana Higuchi only, I do not own it or any of its characters.
'Thoughts/Flashbacks'
"Speech."
"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
I never thought I'd come back here again.
Too many memories I don't want to relive, too many people I didn't want to see.
Walking down the empty, deserted hallway, nostalgia that hits me like a brick wall. Its like seeing my 10 year-old self running down these same hallways either being late to class, chasing after my monotonic of a best-friend, or worse, chasing after him.
Hyuuga Natsume. The name itself echoes in my mind, chanting over and over again, like a mantra.
'Its been awhile hasn't it? Since I've seen him, well, all of them actually.'
The minute I walked out of the corridor and into the courtyard, I was engulfed in an embrace. Dazed and all I could see was bright pink hair.
"Oh my gosh! I thought you weren't going to come!" The pink-haired mysterious hugger stepped back, allowing me to finally see her face.
"Hey Anna, its been awhile hasn't it?"
"Awhile? More like 5 years! Thank Goodness Sumire decided to have this reunion!" She beamed at me.
'Reunion, that's right. That's why I was here walking down these very floors that held so many memories. Back to my childhood school days, back to Gakuen Alice.'
I smiled back at her, a little relieved that someone had welcomed me.
"Come on! Everyone has been waiting for you!" She took my hand and dragged me into the sea of people before me. Everyone, and I mean everyone was here. People I have seen before, people I have never met and some, some I remember.
The first to greet me was Sumire, being the 'organizer' it was her job. After a few hugs and pleasantries, I looked around the crowd. Scanning faces, wondering if I should approach or wait by the drink table like a loner and wait to be approached. Then again, I didn't have to do either.
I felt someone staring holes onto the back of my head. I turned around, only to find deep purple emotionless eyes staring back at me. 'Hotaru.' My longest childhood best-friend.
"Hey Hotaru, long time no see." She ever-so-smiled at me before making her way through the crowd between us towards me. She greeted me warmly with a hug before whispering into my ear.
"How have you been?" Before pulling back and looking to my eyes with a hint of worry.
"Alright, as good as I can get I guess. How have you been?" I saw her sneak a glance to her right. Following her gaze, I saw the ever-loving, blonde haired animal lover.
'Ruka huh? I never would have guessed.' Ruka saw Hotaru looking at him and turned his head towards me. Surprised, he walked towards us.
Hotaru looked back at me and I saw what I haven't seen in the longest time. A genuine, full smile before replying me.
"As good as I can ever be." Ruka finally reached us, smiling at Hotaru, intertwining her hands with his before looking at me.
"Great to see you again Mikan, its good to see you here." He smiled at me.
"Its good to see you too Ruka. I miss this place." I replied with a small smile.
"You two need to talk, I'll be at the seafood table Ruka." Hotaru smiled at the both of us before walking off.
"Lets take a walk Mikan." He said to me whilst guiding me out of the courtyard.
He led right towards the gardens. Not much has changed really, same flowers, same pathway, but, different atmosphere. It wasn't the same then it was when I was here, then again, a lot can change in 5 years and I wasn't just talking about the garden.
Time passes, things change. People, relationships even atmospheres. I'm pretty sure I saw Sumire and Koko standing too close to each other to deem them as 'just friends'.
The silence between Ruka and I was comfortable, but not too. There was an invisible barrier between us. I guess it took five years to draw that line because it was definitely not there before.
Neither of us broke the silence, maybe because we were both waiting or looking for the right words to say. I opened my mouth to break it, but Ruka was faster.
He turned around, effectively stopping my advance, putting his hands on my shoulder.
"How have you really been?" He asked seriously.
"I have been fine Ruka, seriously. I'm happy, how could I not be?"
Although Ruka didn't look convinced, he didn't push it.
"H-h-have you seen him lately?" I stammered hesitantly.
I didn't have to say his name for Ruka to know whom I was talking about, he knew straight away. I wasn't surprised though, he was the one who knew him the longest.
"Yes. He is actually looking for you." Ruka replied calmly, though choosing his words carefully.
I couldn't help but snigger at his words.
"Really? I find that hard to believe actually."
"Mikan." Ruka stopped walking and rested his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes.
"I know I don't know everything that happened between you and him but I do know the basis of what happen. You can't keep avoiding him."
"I know Ruka, but I'm done waiting. Five years can change everything, it can change people."
"Are you sure there is no hope left for him?" Ruka asked me with slight hope in his voice. He was not, however, looking straight at me but rather, over my shoulder.
It didn't a genius to know who him was, the same guy I fell in love with, the same guy who left me, and the same guy who never showed up. Hyuuga Natsume. Shrugging off the lack of eye contact, I replied with an unquestionable final tone.
"No, its too late. Besides, its not like he is here."
"Is that so?" A low, dark, very familiar voice sounded behind me. Not sure which part of my finalization he was referring to, but it didn't matter, cause I found myself unconsciously and unwillingly frozen.
That voice, I haven't heard in five years. I looked up at Ruka's face for reassurance, hoping to see the same shocked expression as I was definitely feeling… only to look at an apologizing gaze. He mouthed a 'I'm sorry' before walking back, out to the garden, back to the party, most likely back to look for Hotaru to tell her about the successful accomplishment.
'Jerk.'
Taking a deep breath, calming my emotions, making it sure there wasn't any hint of expression on my face. I turned around facing the man I never wanted to see again. There he was, a few feet away leaning on a tree, arms crossed, completely calm expression with a hint of curiosity in his eyes. It was only later that I realized which tree he was leaning on. His, mine, no, used to be our Sakura Tree.
"You still haven't answered my question." He remarked, almost mockingly with a slight smirk.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked into his eyes and with the most definiteness I could muster, I replied.
"Yes, there isn't." It took all my self-control not to gasp out loud. His eyes, the same shade of dark crimson as they were the last time I gazed into them. But this time, there was more depth, more sadness and a small indication of almost pleading.
"Not if I could help it." He mumbled under his breath so softly I almost thought I imagined it.
"What are you doing here?" I calmly asked from a distance, brushing off his previous comment. I refused to take a step towards him, as if his presence disgusted me, but even I knew better than that. The aura he was giving out was calm, a bit too calm, its the same aura he gives out when he knows that he will get what he wants.
Like I will let him.
"Like everyone else, I was invited." He replied unperturbed, as if expecting that question or rather annoyed by it. Mostly likely wanting to get on with more important things, either way I couldn't help but scoff.
"Five years for you to show up and now you just stroll back into my life?" Somehow, I found pleasure when he turned his head away, breaking eye contact, as if in shame. He opened his mouth of retort, or most probably to give some lame excuse, but I cut him off before he could.
"Whatever, either way I don't really care about the lame pathetic excuse you are going to give me." Giving one last look of indignation before turning around to walk off, not that I could anyway.
The minute I turned my body, he was already halfway towards me, as if expecting to walk off. The caught my arm, tugging it back towards him, right into his embrace.
He locked his arms around my arms and back, nuzzling his face into my neck and hair.
"W-what are you doing? L-let me go." I nervously stuttered out, startled by the random affectionate gesture, trying to struggle of his arms, only to have him tighten it.
"Just for a moment. Please just stay like this for a while, as if nothing ever happened in the last five years between us." Natsume pleaded softly with a surprising tenderness.
'As if nothing ever happened huh? Like I could forget.'
We were sitting underneath our Sakura Tree, as every other day. His arms, around my middle, with my back leaning on his chest, his back on the trunk of the tree, legs spread out. But this day was different, it was our last day, Graduation Day.
"So, have you made up your mind?" I asked softly, hesitating just a little. His face on my neck, I felt him nod.
"Well?" I pushed further, rubbing circles on the back of his palm, a calming gesture.
"I'm not going." He lifted his head up.
"What? Why?" I turned around, removing his arms, sitting cross-legged looking in his eyes. Somehow, I already knew what his answer was.
"I don't want to leave you." I soften my gaze, bringing my hand up to stroke his cheek. The look in his eyes were so warm, full of affection.
"Natsume, be serious! Stuff like this, opportunities like this don't come very often. You can save lives!"
"My whole life, I've been here being used in the hands of the higher-ups like a puppet. Now, I'm finally free and you are asking me an other person's puppet?" Natsume asked, almost angrily. I rolled my eyes at his childishness and leaned forward to rest my forehead against his to calm him. Immediately I felt his body relax against my touch.
"You know its not like that, stop finding excuses. A chance to work in the military to learn to fully master your alice so that it won't affect your lifespan is an amazing chance plus, you are going to train others just like you. You'll be saving more than just your life." I reasoned, pleaded with him. I saw him close his eyes, thinking, contemplating, deciding.
When he opened his eyes, I looked straight at me again, foreheads touching, trying to make me change my mind mentally, I refused to give in. Realizing my stubbornness, he pulled away, sighing, running his hands through his hair, messing his already unruly raven locks.
I smiled.
"Come with me." My smile vanished. I sighed. It was just like him to find more excuses.
"You know I can't."
"You accepted? Are you really going?" He looked straight at me, with some sadness in his eyes.
"Like you Natsume, this is one opportunity I can't pass on." He sighed then smiled his ever-so-small smile.
"University of Tokyo to study medicine, specializing in alice-related injuries and diseases. I never would have believed it, I guess you have changed." He muttered softly, cupping my cheek. I leaned into his warm touch, lifting my hand to touch his hand.
"We both have." I smiled back.
"Fine then, but promise me, one year from this exact date, we meet near the water fountain in the middle of central park in Tokyo." He whispered into my ear, embracing me.
"I promise." I answered with the most sincerity.
A year later, I waited, and waited, but he never showed. I waited for another, but he never came to find me, I never even saw a glimpse of him. So I gave up and left.
Pushing back my tears, I could still feel his arms around me.
"Let me go." I knew he didn't want to, I didn't have to look at his face to know but by the tone of my voice, he knew I was serious.
He let me go at an arm length, I could tell he was still on guard, in case I tried to walk away again. I guess he isn't satisfied until his gets some answers. Funny, cause I wanted some too.
"Where have you been these years?" He asked simply.
"What gives you the right to know?" I snapped back. Sarcasm, anger and hidden sorrow laced my words.
I simply refused to make it easier for him. I knew I was acting like a stubborn child, but really, I didn't care. Looking into his eyes though, just made me answer that question. Even after all these years, he still has that mysterious power that makes my knees go weak.
"America, for the last three years." I answers, looking away.
"Why?" He pressed on for more details. I couldn't help but scoff at his words.
"I'm pretty sure you know the answer to that."
"If I did, I wouldn't have asked." It was just like him to answer back without any hesitation.
"Where were you four years ago?" It was my turn to get answers, also trying to avoid answering the question, I didn't want him to know that I still haven't totally given up on him. If someone had fully let go, they would have stayed in the same country, knowing full well that the chances of seeing each other was still there. But by leaving, by knowing that his presence was in the same country, spoke otherwise.
It looked like there was no change of expression in his face, to a normal person that is. But to me, I could spot a hint of deep regret and sorrow in his eyes and the clenching of his fingers, pressing into his palm so hard that his knuckles were turning white.
"Well?" Still expecting his answer.
"Answer mine, then I'll answer yours."
"I-I needed to get away from Japan, for work."
"Did you hate me that much that you couldn't even stand staying in the same country as I was?" It was my turn to clench my fingers.
"Answer my question first." Trying desperately to stall, but I knew soon now or later, I would have to answer.
"I was held up a-and I knew that if I saw you again, I'll would not have gone back. It didn't matter if you told me otherwise or if it could save my life, I wouldn't have gone back." His voice wavered, like it took so much strength to voice his feeling.
His answers tugged the strings of my heart. Misunderstandings suck.
"I never hated you. I was angry and sad, but I never could hate you." I answered his question sincerely.
Somehow, I found myself leaning back on the Sakura Tree, like in the old days. An answer for an answer we agreed.
"Why America?"
"My teacher transferred and offered me to come with. And after what happened, I just needed to get away."
"Did you finally master it?"
"Yeah, after three years. Then I went looking for you, but I couldn't. Hotaru didn't budge and she threatened Ruka not to tell."
"Were you happy? In America I mean."
"Not in the beginning, but soon, I started feeling content."
"Did you regret it? Going to the military I mean, to train."
"I did at first, cause I missed you. But, I guess I realised I'm was doing it for you." A tear fell down my cheek.
"Did you have any...other relationships?" I couldn't help but chuckle at that question.
"No."
"Did you have any other relationships?"
"Nope, I was too busy thinking about you." It was that answer that I started crying.
"Would you forgive me?" He asked, with his hand across my shoulder pulling me in as I cried on his chest.
"Y-Yeah." I could feel him being surprised at my easy answer. I looked up and smiled, in his eyes were happiness and true peace.
"But promise me one thing though." I raised my hand to cradle his cheek softly.
"Anything." He leaned his forehead to mine.
"Don't leave me again."
"I promise." We sealed the deal with a kiss and I knew that this time he will keep his promises.
We walked back to the reunion, hand in hand, smiling. When I saw Hotaru, Ruka and Sumire whispering quietly and having smug faces, my first instinct was to punch them. Instead, I ran up to them and gave them a hug.
"Thank you." I whispered into their ears.
End
A/N: I hope you liked it! If you have any inquiries or question regarding this one-shot just pop me an e-mail or review and I'll try my best to get the answer back to you.
-`Auraliee.
