A/N: Hey guys! Haven't heard from me in a while, I know! I've had writer's block for about 6 months now and have six stories sitting unfinished in my folder. Figured the least I could do was write something small to get the ball rolling again. The ones I'm in the middle of are big, probably 10k+ each. I hope to find time over Christmas break to work on them!
I do not own Supernatural or its characters.
"Cas, wait…I can't let you do this."
Dean exhaled deeply, realizing the stupid move he just made. Cas stared expectantly at him, hand lingering on the car door.
"What?" Cas asked.
Crap. Dean hated when his gut reaction took over, cause his brain could never justify his actions. He didn't want to ruin this for Cas, the poor guy's first shot at a real date, at a real life. He didn't want to drag Cas down with all his Heaven/Hell/Hunter problems, with an old whiskey-laden sad sack like himself. And yet part of him hoped Cas didn't want to go. Scratch that; all of him desperately needed Cas to stay, to force Dean to find a way to get him back to the bunker and make up for the stroke of douchiness that had sent him out the door in the first place. An even smaller part of Dean believed that's what Cas wanted, too.
They'd had four hours to kill after checking out the murder scene at the high school, so they'd stopped off at a local Biggerson's. Cas was a bit shifty in the beginning, keeping an eye on just about every schmuck in the place, like any one of them could have been out to kill him. Dean wondered if there was something Cas wasn't telling him about (because he doubted Cas knew about the pepperjack turducken slammer incident) but figured he was one to talk and didn't press the subject. Dean'd eventually gotten the dude to ease up a little, and ordered half the menu for him- who knew if Cas was getting steady meals. They chatted- who'd have thought- about random things, not-so-randomly avoiding angel-related topics. It was something special, he could even say, cause he couldn't remember a time like this. Just Cas talking so much…it was something to get used to. That is, if they kept in touch after this. They were getting looks from passing waiters after they'd managed to hog the booth a good hour after they finished lunch, and decided it'd be more fun anyways to cruise around town in the Impala (Dean made sure to leave a good tip for the pie-their blueberry was better than he expected from a corporate chain restaurant). So for an hour they drove back and forth down the streets of the small town, quaint smiles secretly gracing both their faces as they gazed out the windows, breathing in the sweet summer air. Selfishly, he wished it could go on forever, that Cas would never have to climb out of the passenger's side and close the door on Dean's trivial fantasies of harmony. In terms his emotionally constipated mind could comprehend, he wanted Cas to ride shotgun all the time. After seeing Cas picking himself up and trying to make something of himself as a human, Dean more and more knew this was what he wanted, and what he felt equally horrible for wanting. Cas deserved so much better than him, because he had somehow managed, at least it seemed, to do the impossible; get out. And hell if Dean was gonna spoil that. Dean felt so weak- Cas was doing fine without him, and yet it was a chore for the hunter to even get up in the morning knowing he was the reason Cas was out alone in the world with nothing instead of being at home where he should be. Dean knew Cas belonged in his life. And deep down, he even believed that maybe he belonged in Cas's. It was a constant push and pull, a tug of war in his heart. The conflict tore him apart, and was the reason Dean was staring at Cas like a blinding white star had just fallen to Earth right before his eyes.
"What is it, Dean?" Cas repeated. "Why can't I go?"
A million cheesy excuses ran through Dean's head- 'You're gonna wear that- on a date?' was close to slipping off his tongue, but he pushed it all back. Instead, he lost his mind just long enough to do what he never thought he could. Sliding over in the seat, Dean hesitantly laid a hand on Castiel's jawline, and without thinking, leaned in and kissed him. His mind was blank in the best way possible, and after a long few seconds he fluidly pulled away.
With fear, faint sorrow, and longing, he stuttered, "That's why."
Despite his own shock, Castiel managed to catch his breath and look the hunter in the eye. "Should we…talk about this?" he ventured anxiously, heart still racing.
"No," Dean stumbled desperately. Please, just, not now.
They just stared at each other apprehensively before edging closer together, and suddenly, slowly, they were kissing again. Neither of them even knew what they were doing, just that things felt right for the first time in a long time. They didn't notice the porch light come on and the well-dressed woman step out onto the front stairs, peering at the car with perplexed interest. She quietly retreated back into the doorway when she saw them break away in a daze after a minute or so. They were both breathing heavy, but the fear had subsided, replaced by something that suspiciously resembled bliss, but that was so foreign to the both of them they wouldn't know it.
Dumbstruck, Dean chuckled sheepishly, "So…how's about that date, huh?"
Castiel came back to his senses and quickly turned his gaze to the yellow house. "Yes, right, um…"
"Just tell her you had a family emergency," Dean said. "And take off the damn vest."
Cas shed the extra layer and cautiously went up to knock on the door. Before he could though, Nora opened the door with a smile. "You're here!" she beamed, and stepped outside to talk. "I'm running a little late, but if you can still do it, that'd be really fantastic. She's sleeping right now, and she's all set on everything, just make sure she doesn't start crying. I'll be three hours tops."
Castiel squinted. "She…right."
Nora whispered, "If your boyfriend wants to help, feel free. He looks like a nice guy. When I get back you can introduce me."
Cas swiveled to look at Dean behind the wheel of the Impala, a grin on the hunter's face like Cas's seen very few times. A smile played at his lips. "Dean…yes. He's a good man."
