Rating: PG

Season 9

Spoiler: Season 9

Genre: Angst

Content: Gadreel falls and makes a promise to humanity

Disclaimer: All characters and all rights of Supernatural belong to Warner Brothers Entertainment Inc. This Fanfiction was written for entertainment purposes only, I am not making money out of it. All similarities with persons alive or dead are coincidence.

Gadreel's promise

Everything is so dark. It has been like that for… I cannot tell. Why couldn't they just kill me?
That would have been so much easier and less painful but, well, the pain might have been the whole point in this.
I sometimes dream of the colours and the smell.
No, not what you think, not those of home.
I dream of earth.
Our father's true miracle, because, let's face it, his most precious gift was never meant for us.
He told us to be their guardians but not to interfere.
That's where I screwed up – big time. That one important task I wasn't able to fulfill.
We are divine beings. We are supposed to be perfect but guess what – we are not.
We are as flawed as every being father has created, sometimes a burden is overwhelming even for us and we get exhausted.
But maybe that is just me. I am the failure in the system; the abomination that needs to be crushed, an error that needs to be wiped out.
Yes, I admit it, I failed and I accept to be punished but this is far beyond what he did to Lucifer.
At least my brother can breathe the air and see the light of his beloved morning star.
This darkness is worse than dying, much worse.
I cannot even say I feel the walls closing in on me in this hole as I cannot see.
I wonder if I still exist or if this is just me not noticing that my existence ended because it is too dark to spot the difference.
I would say my heart is heavy and weary from the solitude here but I don't have a vessel whose heart could feel that way.
I am lost and disconnected from everything; I cannot even tell someone how sorry I am for failing father.
I kept screaming on all frequencies: Can you hear me? Can anyone hear me? I am so incredibly sorry! Please, father, forgive me!
I never got an answer; all I heard was silence.
The numbness is the worst part. Nothing seems to matter anymore, not time or space, life or death. I can't feel anything.
In moments like this all I want is a body I can inflict pain to.
I just want to feel, to prove to myself that I exist. But they have taken that mercy away from me, it's not only father who did this to me – it's them! All of them!
They hate me – they despise me, I know it! I always did but never wanted to see it.
They just didn't have the guts to tell me. They didn't have the courage to kill me, to kill one of their own.
Finally I feel something!
Something is happening!
Tremors!
Everything starts shaking all of a sudden.
I am falling!
So this is the way it ends, this is the final punishment for failing father.
Is this the bottomless pit where I shall find my brother, Lucifer?
What is happening to me?
Is this? No, it can't be! This must be some kind of illusion!
Well, if it is I don't ever want to wake from it! It's earth! I can't believe it!
My beloved earth!
It must have been centuries! It certainly feels like that they changed her, she looks so different; but some things they could never change: the wind, the gravity gripping me tightly and the sensation of rushing towards her. The fire burns my wings and I embrace the pain.
I haven't felt anything in so many years. This pain is the most precious gift I had received in … well, more than a lifetime.
I am back and I swear this time I won't let you down, humanity!

-The End-