Disclaimer: I don't own The Hobbit!

A/N at the end.


She'd hardly been in her room since she returned. As soon as Tauriel got back to Mirkwood, she spent all of her time away from the king and everyone else. She spent all of her time keeping the darkness out of their land. But it didn't take long. Soon enough there was nothing coming in. No spiders. No orcs. Nothing. There was nothing for her.

So she retreated to her room. She listened to her old friends singing and drinking above her. It was hard dealing with the pain even down there. No matter where she went the pain followed. But somehow she managed to live. She listened to the rain tap away outside the walls of her home. She didn't mind this. The rain didn't bother her. She remembered the day after he died it was raining.

Uh-oh, Tauriel thought to herself trying to swallow back the tears. Not now. She couldn't- wouldn't- think of him now. The hotness of the tears stung and burned her cheeks. She wept until there was nothing left. Again, there was nothing for her.

She cried often when she was alone with her thoughts. It wasn't that bad. If anything it helped relieve the pain for a little bit. Even if just for a moment, the release felt wonderful. Even though going on without her Kili still made her sad, the tears never hurt anyone.

Getting up, eating, going through the motions never hurt her. They numbed the pain. They made her feel like an empty shell. But it was better than the agony that ripped through her when she was alone.

There were days when Tauriel would try to pretend that nothing was wrong. She knew in her heart that everything was gone, but she would say something when her friends would come done to check on her or bring her food. She would do it for them. She even managed to convince herself once that he was still alive. That he was coming back for her.

One day, Thranduil himself came down. That was one of the most difficult days back. She was able to force a smile, but a tear still managed to fall. She was all alone in this world. She begged him to take away her pain and he wouldn't.

None of that made her hurt the most however.

What hurt the most was knowing how close she'd been to Kili. Was knowing that he stood right in front of her at one point. That they had been together once upon a time. And she said nothing. If she could go back and change one thing in her life, it would be to say everything that she kept in her heart. She would have confessed her love for him over and over. She would have screamed it to the skies. She would give him all of her love. She trade all the words in her heart that were left unspoken.

What hurt the most was watching him walk away. When Kili gave her his stone she stood there and took it. But said nothing. She watched him leave her. And she never had the chance to talk to him ever again.

What hurt the most was never knowing what could have been. She would never know what life could have been like with the love of her life. He died too young. They could have been happy. They could have lived to be old. He could have kept his promise.

What hurt the most was not seeing that loving him was what she was trying to do.

Tauriel turned over his stone in her hand. She had to return this. She would keep his promise.


In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit who wrote a bunch of Harry Potter fanfics. One day, this hobbit decided to write a Hobbit fanfic. The hobbit refused to live happily ever after. The end. Don't tell me what to do! Who ever said I wanted a happily ever after!

Anyway! Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! This was based off the song "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. Please review! Thank you so much!

Are You Crazy Enough?: 735: (lyric prompt) "I told myself I won't miss you. But I remember what it feels like beside you." – Better Than Me - Hinder