[A/N:]

(Hello Twilight world! This is our first twilight story together, so we apologize if it is not great (though we both think it is =). So we (yes, we) would like to let you guys know the people behind this crazy, random, funny, shocking story are. That would be Cherry Tulips and Karmuh29. Together we make Chair Ree Car Mah. Haha, get it? XD Oh if only you could hear what I am being forced to listen to right now.... Cherry has a WEIRD taste in music. Anyway...)

(Psh, don't listen to her. Karmuh doesn't know great music when she hears them. :)

([Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters within the story, Stephenie Meyer does and we're okay with that. :])


Chapter One

(Emmett's POV)

"So, I just texted the girls the directions to the house. They said that they'll be here in a half hour." Jasper said as he walked into the living room.

The four of us guys had moved into this house so we don't have to live on campus. We were starting our freshmen year at the University of Washington and we didn't want to make things more difficult than they already were.

Okay, so maybe I'm lying about that; we wanted to have the ability to do what we wanted and live on our own. Of course, we weren't the only ones to think of this. There were these girls who were supposed to be living in this house as well. I don't know any of their names because I haven't spoken to any of them, but eh.

The only people who will talk to them, were Edward and Jasper. Mike was kind of, well, Mike was a dork and we didn't allow him to speak with them. He wasn't the type of guy who was smooth, if you know what I mean.

Me, on the other hand, couldn't give a damn. I didn't want to hook up with any of my female roommates. I mean imagine trying to leave after a one night stand, you still have to sit at the same table and eat pancakes together for breakfast. How awkward would that be...

So I turned my head towards Jasper and prepared myself to lie to him. Okay, well, I'm not really lying, because I'm sure that it's true. "Dude, who cares. They're probably fugly anyway. Why do you keep texting them?" Yeah, I said this and stuck my finger down my throat for the gagging effect. I didn't get much of a response from Jasper, except for an eye roll. Oh, please like any of them (hot or not) would want to hook up with him after they see my hot body.

"Why do you have to be such a douche about it?" Edward, who was sitting next to me on the couch, asked and took the remote from my hands.

I blew out a breath of air. Edward had always been the one to act like he was better than me. Just because he said I was a bit immature and rude. "Where are they even from again?" I asked with a smile. Edward just looked at me, trying to figure out what I was doing.

"Arizona." He said slowly and unsure of himself. "Why does that matter?" He questioned as he cocked his head to the side.

I laughed at this display of confusion on his face. "Have you ever heard of a hot girl coming from Arizona?" I paused and waited for him to say something, but it didn't come. "Exactly" I said, relaxing myself against the couch once again.

I was getting comfortable until the nerd came up behind me and yell in my ear. "No way man, they're most likely some fine bitches!" I turned my head around to stare at Mike. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought we could've done without him, because Jasper and Edward were staring with annoyance as well.

None of us offered him to live with us, he just kind of showed up on his own and planted himself here. Jasper and Edward have been my best friends since grade two, and we planned on keeping it that way. This Mike schmuck was interfering our new found freedom with his stupid personality. I swear, if he had went to our school, we would've never spoken to him.

We were all still staring at him, probably making him uncomfortable, so I figured I would be the one to break the ice.

"Okay, whatever." I said and everyone's eyes fell on me, as they should be. "I'll be happy just as long as they don't spend more time than me in the bathroom, then we're good." I winked at Mike. I think I scared him, but the boyish look he was going for was too good to pass up. He reminded me of a little kid who repeats things he shouldn't say and besides he looks kinda gay. Not that I have a problem with this, as long as he doesn't come running to me when he sees a spider.

"Dude, I don't think anyone spends more time than you in the bathroom," Edward said, laughing at his own joke. I guess it could funny, but I swear I heard a double meaning in it. No matter. I had a comeback. It may not be as good as I wanted, but it would still ruffle Eddie Boy's delicate feathers.

"It takes time to look this good." I ran a hand through my hair. "Oh, right, you wouldn't know." I laughed when I saw the look on his face. He hated the fact that he couldn't do anything with his hair, it always looked like he rolled our of bed. Though, I wouldn't admit too him, I was a teensy but jealous of him. The sex hair thing he has going on catches more attention than mine. But no need to let him get a big head, I'll just keep it to myself.

"Right," Edward said as he looked at Jasper. The two started laughing at me.

I eyed him suspiciously and grabbed the remote out of Edward's hand and started flipping through the channels. "How can we have over 4000 channels and there be nothing good on?" I asked no one in particular. Edward took the remote back from me as I stretched out on the couch. Might as well forfeit now because the prude's gonna keep doing back.

I was just kind of sitting there, bored out of my mind with Edward flipping through the channels right after the other. I only really started to pay attention to what he was turning it to once an infomercial for Girls Gone Wild showed up on the screen.

"What are you doing!?" I spluttered out as I nudged his arm. "Turn it back to the girls! They were taking it off!!"

"Are you talking about this?" Edward asked and turned it back to what I was talking about. I nodded and he smiled, turning the channel my women were on to some golf shit.

Jasper was sitting in front of me of the floor and turned around to yell at Edward. "What the fuck you doing?!" Yes, what was he doing? My thoughts exactly, man. Never would've thought Jasper would be a perv.

"I got something better than an infomercial that blurs out the good stuff." He grinned up at me. Whatever he was thinking, better not be any of that gay shit he and Newton watch.

He pulled up the guide and turned it to something on HBO. "Found it." He grinned.

I kept my eyes on the screen in front of me. There was a guy sitting on a chair with his shirt off, flexing his muscles. "You've got to be kidding me. Go back to the girls!"

"Just wait for it." Edward said, patting my shoulder back so that I could relax.

"Wait for what? His boyfriend to come bone him?" I sat there for a second, waiting impatiently for something better than guys with no shirts on. I was about to turn away when I saw them. TITTIES! "Oh hell yeah!" I roared. "Guys, pay attention to the shit!" I looked over at Edward and he just kept on grinning, satisfied with himself. Well, hell buddy.

Mike rushed to the TV screen as soon as Edward turned it up louder, to an almost deafening volume, sitting next to Jasper on the floor.

"This right here men, is some great action! Mike you should watch you might learn something." I jumped up closer to the screen, gluing my eyes to it. The chick was sprawled out on the bed with just her black lacy panties on. God, she was moaning and touching herself!

"Fuck! She's gonna take em' off! Yeah, watch this dude come up to her and and-" Mike was cut off by me of course.

"Just watch it you fucking homo!" I smacked the back of his head.

(Rosalie's POV)

"See girls," Alice said, as she turned around to face me from the drivers seat. "We got here faster than you thought we would. Imagine if we were driving Bella's slow truck all the way here." She shuddered and Bella gave her a look that said, 'Don't talk bad about my baby.'

"Yeah yeah. We're here. So should we tell the guys to come out and help us?" I asked, opening my door, waiting for their reply.

"Oh yes, definitely!" Alice squealed with delight. "I bet they're strong and muscular!" She clapped her hands enthusiastically.

"Does that really matter?" Bella asked, looking between the excited Alice and me. I shook my head and Alice nodded.

"Uh, yes. I can't carry my stuff in all by myself." I couldn't blame her. she was a tiny little thing, and she brought the most out of the three of us. Bella's dad was supposed to be driving with the rest of our things in a moving van tomorrow, so we packed lightly, or at least, Bella and I did. "So get out of the car already. We have to introduce ourselves to them before we start taking over." She gestured for her to get out of the car.

I slammed my door closed and Alice glared at me as we walked up to the door. Alice was about to knock on the door but put her arm down to her side. What was she doing?

"Well, don't just stand there looking pretty, knock on the door or something." I told Bella and Alice who were fidgeting with their clothing and biting their lips. "Ugh, you guys take too long." I walked up closer to the door and raised my fist to it, when I heard something on the other side. What was going on in there? I looked down to my left at Alice and she shrugged. I knocked, but could tell by the noise coming from inside that no one could hear it. I tried the handle, it was unlocked.

As soon as I opened the door, we were bombarded with...moaning? What the fuck is going on in here!

We walked closer to the cause of the loud noise, only to see four guys sitting as close to the television as they could. As I walked closer I could barely make out a naked girl through the cracks between the boy's bodies. I noticed the remote lying unattended on one of the cushions. I picked it up and clicked the off button.

What pigs! I will not put up with this sort of crap. As long as I am living here that stuff is forbidden. That's right, I said forbidden. If they think that women are just objects to ogle over they are dead wrong. This shit has to stop, and I can guarantee you life for these sorry excuse of the male gender is gonna change real quick now that Rosalie Hale is here.

"What the fu-" One of the boys said as he turned to face me. As soon as his brown eyes met mine he squealed like a little girl and launched himself further off of the couch, landing not smoothly onto one of the other boys. Guess he has never seen such a beautiful girl before. I laughed at him.

He scrambled furiously to get back onto his feet. The first thing I noticed was his curly black hair that needed to be cut badly. He looked up at me and smiled nervously.

"You three came earlier than expected." The honey blond boy said as he stood up. He walked in front of me and extended his hand so I could shake it. He quickly put his hand down once he saw I wasn't going to oblige. He cleared his throat. "I'm Jasper. This is Edward, Mike and Emmett." He introduced the others, and they all waved awkwardly. I could tell they were embarrassed that they were caught watching porn, but did they have to look scared shitless?

Alice walked up to my right and smiled, extending her hand to Jasper. "I'm Alice. It's very nice to meet you all." She pulled Bella out from behind me. "This is Bella, and Rosalie." The boys just continued to stand there without saying a word. I raised my eyebrow in question.

"Well don't just stand there, we have bags that aren't going to carry themselves up here. Alice brought more than she can carry." I looked around the room at the four guys. Jasper's smile got wider and looked down to Alice.

"I would be glad to be some assistance to you ma'am." He held out his arm for her to grab hold of. I didn't notice it before, but he had somewhat of an accent I couldn't place. It was barely noticeable, but I could tell that Alice was going crazy by his gesture.

Alice took his arm and the two walked outside. Bella and I just stood there, watching the the other boys.

"I think Jasper is going to need some help." The curly haired guy said as he inconspicuously flexed his arm muscle. "I'll be back with your luggage ladies." He grinned at me.

"You better not touch my lingerie, Shrek, because if you do, that girl you were jacking off to on the television will be the last naked woman you will ever see!"

"Does that mean everything else in your suitcase is fair game?" He asked with a sly look on his face. Who the fuck does this guy think he is?

"Why are you planning on auditioning for Rocky Horror Picture Show?" Ha. Where do I come up with these comebacks?

He didn't bother looking back, but I could hear his booming laugh as it echoed around the room. Prick.

I turned back to look at the last guy standing, who happened to be staring at me.

I took a step closer to him. I raised my hand to comb his hair back with my fingers. "Hey sexy, did you just get out of bed or what?" My other hand softly landed on his chest, slowly curving up the side of his neck as I stared into his mesmerizing jade eyes.

"Rosalie, do you think that I should call Charlie to tell him we're here?" Bella asked me, clearly unaware that me and this guy were having a moment. I felt Edward stiffen at the question she asked me. Oh? Hm...I bet he thinks Charlie is her boyfriend. Let's play it off like that.

I pulled her aside. "What kind of question is that? Of course you should call him. He loves you, and he has a right to know you're okay," I said a bit too loudly. I glanced towards Edward again, and he looked to be a little mad. Oh, this was good.

"Well, I was just wondering because you know how he likes to talk. I was curious to know if we were going to be doing anything so soon."

"No, we're not doing anything. Just go call Charlie. I bet he's worried about his girl, so don't keep him waiting. Run along little one." I smiled at her and turned to sit down on the couch. How could Edward like Bella when he could have me? I mean she is just so... plain and I'm so beau-

"So you like the color red, eh?"

Who the fuck does he think he is! I told him to keep his hands off of my things!

"Please tell me you didn't go looking in my bags, when I specifically told you not to." I snarled.

"What?" Emmett panicked, dropping my bogs on the floor to hold his hands up to me, to calm me down. "I did no such thing. Alice told me to ask you that question."

"Alice!!" I screamed.

(Edward's POV)

Unbelievable.

How am I going to live here with this woman and her attitude for the next year, let alone the rest of my college career?

"Hey, it's Jasper right? Did you know that Alice was kicked out of her last college for having sex with a teacher?"

"I did not!" Alice's face started to turn red.

"Oh, that's right." She grinned. "Because you're still a virgin." Alice was fuming, and you could tell Rosalie got to her. "Jasper, don't expect to get laid or anything because the midget doesn't put out."

Jasper was pulling Alice behind him to try and stop her from running towards Rosalie.

"You darn well that's not true, you're a liar!" Alice yelled as her head poked out from Jasper's side. "Do you want me to tell them your secret Rose?!"

Every one of us looked to Rosalie. Her face became dark as she started to shake. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, but I would."

Rosalie went to make a move, but Emmett grabbed her arm. "Leave her be and she'll stop. Don't give into what she wants." She just looked at him, deciding if she wanted to listen to this person she barely knew. She slowly backed off, and looked away from Alice and mumbled something under her breath.

Finally.

Mike walked up to Rosalie and offered her his hand with a smile. She stared at him for a second and then slapped him across the face.

"What did I do!?" He cried, holding his hand to his cheek.

"You were born! That's what!" She yelled and stomped away up stairs.

Bella walked in, closing her cell phone shut. "So, what did I miss?"

Not a god damn thing.


[Author's Notes:]

(Karmuh: Sooo our first twilight story, well my first twilight story anyway. I had a lot of fun with this, so many different personalities... For those of you that recognize us: HI! XD. For those of you that don't know us: HI XD. Hahahaha yeah I'm random. Actually I'm Karmuh29 (or the Car Mah part of the account name)... Nice to meet you nice folks on the twilight side of fanfiction. I think I'll just stop now before this gets any more awkward... Take it away Cherry! =)

(Cherry: Well, I'm a little disappointed that none of this was in Jasper's POV. Maybe some other time, if Karmuh lets us write with him. Speaking of Karmuh...isn't she a little too happy to say hello to you guys? Haha, she wants to see what I'm writing. Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was fun to write a Twilight story with her instead of the Host ones like we usually do together. There's more we can do with these characters when they're all human, it's a nice break from the little box we put ourselves in. So I'm gonna stop where I am, and you will probably get used to these long Author's Notes from me, and you'll get used to me telling you guys that I'm being shut up by Karmuh because she's doing it right now as she looks through the yearbook, clearly telling me she's bored of the silence in the room. Bye! :)