This is a bit of weird one as far as fanfiction goes. It is inspired by Into The Woods, both the stage musical version and the movie version. That said, it has nothing at all to do with Into The Woods, other than the fairytale themes, title and the songs. A musical in fanfiction form is a bizarre and, possibly, bad idea. I am certainly no David Bowie and haven't even attempted to recreate his lyrical style. I once read that he hated rhyme in songs and went out of his way to avoid it. He would no doubt have hated my efforts. It should also go without saying that I am no Stephen Sondheim, although I have great admiration for his musicals. I'm a big fan of musicals in general, both on stage or movie versions.
I also owe a debt of thanks to the musical Spamalot, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode 'Once More With Feeling', ABC's Galavant, and I've been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift for Sarah's songs.
Anyway, this is meant to be a whimsical light-hearted offering (mostly), although there may be a slightly darker undercurrent to it. I know it's hard to imagine original songs, especially with no music. These are more like a series of strung together rhyming couplets, anyway. All the songs are my own original work (so if they suck, I've got no one else to blame!)
Please, do let me know your thoughts. Thank you - Mrs P.
Into The Labyrinth
Chapter 1 - The King Shall Have His Queen
Jareth sat brooding on his throne, his scowl as dark as a thunderstorm. "Spurned by a mere slip of a girl and still moping about it six months later, this will not do at all," he lamented.
The goblins around him scurried to take shelter. Their king was in a kicking mood, they sensed, and none wanted to feel the sharp end of his boot. Technically, with him being so fond of high heels, there were four sharp ends to every pair.
"I turned the world upside down for that ungrateful wretch," Jareth muttered, his pointed teeth bared in anger. He groused and he grumbled, a cruel smile playing upon his lips as he plotted, until a wicked plan formed in his mind. "Bring me the traitorous dwarf," the Goblin King barked at the nearest of his useless guards.
Magic had been setting his shattered kingdom to rights. He intended to rebuild everything bigger and better than before, especially his Labyrinth. It flourished and grew until he felt sure no one would ever conquer it again. The king would have his queen in the end.
Jareth often got the urge to burst into song, and being fae, there was nothing he enjoyed more than music. Well, there might have been one thing he liked better, but that definitely wasn't a solo dance. He rose to his feet in contemplation and, as he paced about, he began to sing.
"She might be sweet at sixteen, and it's true that some girls are,
She could get a job, marry with parental blessing, and even drive a car.
At seventeen she'll be legal, if not quite ready to be regal, but who can tell?
Eighteen will bring graduation and hopefully a rounded education as well.
To take her while she's still technically a child might be viewed as obscene,
But I find waiting aggravating and the king must have his queen.
In truth, the whiny teenage years I would quite happily forgo,
Yes, I want my queen, but a drama queen? That would be a no.
Better when she's done all her growing and the tiresome hormonal to-ing and fro-ing,
Before her innocence is lost, but in the ways of love, she is a little more knowing.
Of course, I'll be only too happy to widen her education and fill the gaps in-between,
I will give her such pleasure and she'll be my treasure when this king gets his queen.
I could take her when she's twenty, maybe twenty-one would do,
I am the very soul of generosity, after all, so let's say twenty-two.
What would she do if I left her unclaimed until the ripe age of twenty-nine?
Unloved and unwanted with no suitor and no romance, her beauty withering on the vine.
She can be cruel as I can be too; it's true I've often been mean,
For her, I want to do better so that when I get her, this king will please his queen.
The trouble with all this speculating is that I do not care for waiting,
With only stupid creatures for company, when I could be procreating,
I want my queen while she's young, pretty, and firm with nothing starting to sag,
Leave her too long and she'll be nothing more than a bitter and twisted old hag.
I don't want advanced age and infirmity; I want her fresh and green,
It's no use procrastinating while she's deteriorating, the king must have his queen.
I will court her and wait for the moment, when, for picking she is ripe,
Her beauty can only grow and I already know, she's definitely my type.
Right now, she is developing and needs more time to mature,
Experience has taught me, bratty teenagers can be such a bore,
We'll stay platonic until she is ready; I can wait for her to turn eighteen,
In a few years' time, I'll make Sarah mine, and the king shall have his queen."
The goblins applauded and cheered from a safe distance as Jareth resumed his place on the throne.
"Hoggle, the traitorous dwarf," the guards announced as they hauled in their captive.
The king raised one of his elegantly pointed eyebrows. "Well, well, well, Hoggett," he sneered. "What in the world am I to do with you?"
His erstwhile minion cowered before him. Sarah would call him a coward if she could she how his legs were shaking. Hoggle had expected his day of reckoning would dawn, his only surprise being that it had taken so long. "I dids what I hads to do and I ain't sorry for it." The little dwarf remained defiant (despite his knocking knees).
Jareth stood up with a swish of his midnight blue cape. "Is that so?" He questioned, as he drew nearer to his prey. The king's gaze darkened; one eye more so than the other until it appeared almost black. "You do realise that Sarah will have forgotten all about you now she's back in her own world, don't you?"
"No, she won't," Hoggle protested. "We're friends, not that you'd knows anything about what that means." His fluffy eyebrows were set in an obstinate line.
The Goblin King affected sympathy and knelt down to rest his hand on the dwarf's shoulder.
"Poor Hog-breath, you really did lose your head over that girl, didn't you?" He patted his head. "Sarah used us both for her own ends, and now we've been cast aside like last year's fashions."
Hoggle knew Jareth to be an untrustworthy rat. He also knew he was being played like a fiddle, but his innate insecurity made him easy pickings for his foe. "She ain't like that," he maintained, although his confidence was crumbling fast.
The Goblin King ascended back onto his throne with a smirk on his lips. "It's been what, six months since Sarah's victory party?" He asked in a casual tone, knowing exactly to the second how long it had been. "And how many times has she called upon you since then?" He knew the answer to that one too.
Hoggle shuffled about uneasily. "Well, um, she's got school to go to and her brother to takes care of," he mumbled making excuses for his friend.
Jareth nodded along tapping his lips with a black leather gloved finger.
"She'll calls when she needs me," the dwarf asserted.
The Goblin King summoned a crystal orb and toyed with it in his hands. Rolling it over and under, above and below his palm, until he brought it to rest on a goblin decorated plinth. "Let's take a little peek at what our precious Sarah is up to shall we?"
White mist swirled inside the glass orb and slowly, an image began to form. Sarah sat at her vanity, wearing a tight-fitting red dress and makeup that made her appear much older than her almost sixteen years. She gazed into the mirror concentrating as she applied bright red lipstick and intermittently sang along to a song on her radio. Her gaze fell upon the figurine she kept on the vanity which resembled the Goblin King, and she let out a dreamy sigh.
Jareth watched with unrestrained glee and he broke into a sharp-toothed grin. "Teenage girls and their romantic notions," he chuckled. "This is going to be, if I may borrow my precious one's words, a piece of cake." He glanced expectantly at his subjects. "Well?" He glared, "laugh."
The goblins obeyed and erupted into manufactured hysterics.
Hoggle looked on in horror. "W-What are you gonna do?" He inquired, fearing the reply.
The Goblin King snatched up the crystal orb and tossed it into the air, where it disappeared like a soap bubble. "Why, I intend to make Sarah my queen, of course. And you are going to help me get her."
The little dwarf vigorously shook his head. "No, no I ain't," he declared. "She's far too good for the likes of you, and far too young." He gulped at his boldness, hoping a dip in the Bog of Eternal Stench wasn't beckoning.
Jareth narrowed his eyes and glared down at the diminutive rebel. "The thing about mortals is, they grow old so quickly. One cannot afford to wait." The idea appalled him, as it did all fae kind with their near eternal youth and beauty.
"Do anything you wants with me. Throw me in an oubliette or even in the bog, but please leave Sarah alone," Hoggle begged.
"You care about the girl, how sweet," Jareth sneered. "However, I will be generous and I'll offer you two choices. You can help me woo her so that one day when she's older, she will happily agree to be my queen. Or..." He paused to poke at his sharp teeth with his tongue and ponder in a wicked way.
The little dwarf frowned in anticipation of being firmly boxed in between the proverbial rock and a hard place.
"Or," the king continued, "I can take her now and lock her in the castle's high tower until she's ready to surrender to all I have to give her."
Hoggle groaned; it was just as he'd suspected, both of the choices before him were completely undesirable. At least with the wooing, he might get a chance to warn her off and let her know what she'd really be letting herself in for with Jareth.
"There's no use in you looking so hard done by," the Goblin King chided. "You were the one who gave the girl the peach."
If a mortal ate or drank anything gifted to them by a fae, it put them under the power of that fae. Jareth had allowed Sarah to say her words and return home. But she didn't win, not really.
The dwarf frowned filled with sorrow. What a wretched fool he'd been. His poor unsuspecting friend had forgiven him without appreciating the full extent of his wrong-doing. "Alright," he shrieked. "I'll helps you woo her, but I ain't gonna pretend you're anything other than a rat."
Jareth broke into a wicked grin. "Come, come, Hogboggle, we've got work to do."
