"Goodbye To You"

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

There's so much I want to say now

But it's too late I know

There's no way to heal these wounds now

And my heart bleeds for you

Hermione finished packing her bags slowly. Her seven years of schooling in the wizarding world were over today. It was time for her to leave the only place she considered home. This was the only place where she'd belonged, the only place she'd had friends. The only place she'd had someone whom she considered her equal. He was the most sarcastic, sadistic person she knew, but underneath all of that he was a brilliant man, if cold, and with the most biting humor she'd ever encountered. There was something about his dry humor that struck her as exceedingly amusing. They'd become acquaintances when Dumbledore assigned her as his assistant during the war.

She remembered when she was brewing a potion one evening and he'd come back from a Deatheater meeting shaking and bloody. She'd stayed the night to take care of him, much to his chagrin. He'd informed her several times that he did not need a nursemaid and made it along fine without her for years, she informed him that he was a cantankerous man with the attitude of a sulky toddler. She'd slipped him a sleeping potion and he pretended that he couldn't smell what it was from a mile away.

From that moment on, when he'd allowed her to take care of him, they'd become closer than friends. Lovers wasn't the right word as he'd refused to take their relationship further than a close friendship because of their positions. A student-teacher relationship was not what he wanted for them. He didn't want her to endure the comments that would undoubtedly be said by his Slytherins and even her best friends.

They'd had a row a few weeks prior before, the worst they'd ever had. She was afraid they couldn't go back to what they once were because of it. He'd never raised his voice to her, though she shouted until she couldn't speak anymore. He spoke to her condescendingly and told her that her idealistic views of the world betrayed how foolishly naïve she still was. She told him to go hell, and he informed her that he was already there.

She couldn't sleep after that. The look on his face when he told her to leave, so cold, haunted her. If he looked angry she could have still held hope, because that meant that he still cared, but the casual indifference cut deeper than any knife.

She put a hand to her chest and tried to stop herself from crying, the pain was unbelievable. She couldn't believe that it had come to this. She'd always defended him, and whenever he needed her she'd been there. Now she was leaving and he wouldn't even say goodbye.

And our love is crashing

Like a tidal wave

Coming over me

So I wanted you to know

That i finally let you go

After all I've held on to

This is my goodbye to you

I was always there for you

But you never saw the truth

And the reason that i know

Is I've finally let you go

Ron and Harry would never understand, and she never told them. They'd just sort of drifted away over the last year. After the war, no one was the same. She couldn't look at either of them anymore without seeing the pain in their eyes. Ron had lost Luna and Harry had lost Ginny. The pain of it had been unbearable for everyone. She was the reason that he was able to finally cast the killing curse.

Ginny had been Hermione's only girl friend. They had become increasingly close over the years. When Hermione had still had a crush on Ron, Ginny told Hermione rather embarrassing stories about him whenever he had made her mad. Ginny was the only person that Hermione had told about her feelings for Severus. After her initial astonishment, Ginny had confirmed that it made since, as Professor Snape was the only person with whom Hermione didn't have to dumb herself down. When Ginny died, Hermione broke inside. Now she was shattered further by Severus' betrayal.

Yesterday you were my best friend

But tomorrow took you away

There's not much for me to say now

Just goodbye, farewell

So much had been lost in the war. It almost seemed to Hermione that the result wasn't worth the cost. While there was no more Dark Lord, there were still rampant Death Eaters who, with no leader to control them, were killing everything in their path.

Hermione stopped packing when she came upon a small box. She remembered it from the only Christmas she had spent with Severus. It contained a locket with a serpent upon it. She'd worn in under her robes every day, but took it off the day he told her that she had to leave.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Severus had seen Hermione very little in the past few weeks. He had, however, seen enough of her to notice that there was no glint of silver from a chain only partially concealed by her robes. He's been afraid that she would remove the locket. He knew that as long as she wore the locket, she still cared for him.

He'd been a right prat that night. He was convinced that he was in danger because of the Death Eaters that had eluded capture after the war. In a moment of idiotic nobility he'd pushed her away. He knew it was t he right thing to do, he couldn't risk her being harmed because of him and he knew that the rogue Death Eaters would find out about their relationship and take her in order to get to him. He knew that Lucius was among those still active and if he captured her, the bastard would undoubtedly take great pleasure in raping her as painfully as he could.

No matter how it hurt, he had to let her go. She may not be safe because she was a key player in the war, but she'd be safer than being the lover of a known traitor.

And our love is crashing

Like a tidal wave

Coming over me

It was a year since Hermione left Hogwarts. Severus continued to teach and Hermione was a Medi-Witch at St. Mungo's. It was a slow night around the hospital when a man was rushed in, horribly injured. He'd been the victim of a Death Eater attack. Hermione was assigned to him and she walked into the room to discover to her utmost horror that the man was Severus Snape. He was barely conscious. She gave him a sleeping draught and did the best she could to patch him up. He'd lost a lot of blood and so she fed him some blood-replenishing potion as well. Mercifully, he's stayed asleep during most of the procedure, which she knew to be quite painful.

She could tell that he'd been subjected to many bouts of the Cruciartus Curse, but there wasn't much that could be done for that. She left him when her shift was over, trying as hard as she could to keep herself professional.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Severus woke in an unfamiliar place. He looked around. St. Mungo's. Hermione, had her face been a beautiful dream or had she really been here? Struggling to sit up, he read the sheet that said which doctor had been assigned to him.

I do hereby solemnly swear that I will do the most to preserve the patient.

Hermione Granger

Healer Hermione Granger

So, she had been there. Had she felt anything for him? He wished he could have told her that there was never a day that passed in which he didn't think of her.

He knew now that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. He should never have told her that he didn't care, he never should have asked her to leave. He could have protected her if she was with him. How can I think that when I can't even protect myself? He knew the answer to that, though. Because I care more for her than I do me. I was inviting trouble last night, and I knew it. I would never have done something to put her in danger. If need be I would die for her.

The door opened and the object of his thoughts entered. She was wearing emerald healer's robes and he had to say that the color became her. Her hair was longer now, and pulled back partially with a clip, presumably to keep it out of her eyes. She looked beautiful.

"Hello Mr. Snape, you will be able to leave in a few hours. I'm sure your students will be missing you terribly."

He couldn't help but smirk at her attempt to be professional.

"I miss you."

She spared him a disgruntled glance, how dare he after he all he put her through. All the pain and torment she suffered trying to sleep last night and all the months that she'd suffered.

"After a few more tests you'll be free to go."

"Don't pretend that you and I are nothing but acquaintances. We were once so much more."

"Now, I'm going to do a quick x-ray and see if your ribs have mended correctly."

"I made a mistake. I should have never let you go. I love you."

"So, this will only take a few moments, if you'll just sit back I'll be out of you hair very shortly."

"As I recall, I was usually the one with my hands in your hair."

"Mr. Snape, I would like to keep this as professional as possible."

And every time I close my eyes

My heart is bleeding deep inside

But now my eyes are open

And I'm never gonna be the one for you

I finally let you go

Let you go

Let you go so this is my goodbye to you.

As soon as she had finished with the check up she cleared him for leaving. She watched as he left the building, he paused for a moment and looked directly at her; the window framed her face.

"I'll never give up, Hermione."

She saw his lips move but couldn't hear the words. She could see the determination in his face.

AN: This is the first of two parts.

--American Punk--