One peaceful day in the land of Nintendo, everyone was milling about waiting for some big unveil in the city square fountain.
Iwata walked up to the microphone and tapped it, causing a loud screech. Everyone covered their ears and winced. Iwata cleared his throat.
"Hello people of Nintendo Land," he yelled into the mic, once again causing more feedback, which made everybody cover their ears again. "I have something important to announce."
"Why would we be here if you didn't HAVE something to announce?" someone yelled from the back. All was silent for a second. Luigi later said he could hear crickets.
"There are new residents moving into Nintendo Land. They arrived a bit late, but they're here nonetheless. May I introduce… the Amiibos."
A few large plastic figurines of Samus, Mario, Link and others were rolled onstage by some minimum wage employees, who were tossed each a single gold coin. They walked away grumbling about something to do with getting better pay at MacDonald's.
Iwata continued. "As your mayor, I have decided that extra houses will be built for them." This generated a murmur among the crowd.
"They're just plastic! Why should we be building houses for inanimate objects?" the same voice from earlier called. Vice-mayor Regginator walked up to the microphone. "Alright, who keeps saying stuff like that?" he asked.
A single Mii in the back row raised his hand. "Take him away." Reggie said.
The Mii was dragged out of the square screaming. The chosen method of torture in Nintendo Land? Starring in horrible third-party games.
After the announcement was over and everyone had went home to play video games (the rebels hiding Xboxes in their rooms), Iwata walked over to the Amiibos and set them upright. "Are you alright?" He asked the Villager Amiibo. He got no response, except for a creepy eyelid twitch.
