A/N: This really belongs in the musical section, but since "Sweeney Todd" is not there, I had to put it in here. I do not own "Sweeney Todd" or any related characters, songs, etc, for they belong to the genius, Stephen Sondheim. Please enjoy this parody of "Epiphany," written for every poor soul that must suffer through Driver's Education. The instructor's lines are written in italics, while the student's lines are in a normal font.

Epiphany of the Student Drivers

(A Parody of Sweeney Todd's "Epiphany")

The wheel was there beneath my hand,

it was there and it will never come again!

Easy now, hush teen hush, don't distress yourself; what's your rush?

Why didn't I wait? You told me to wait!

Now I'll never drive again!

The road is a hole like a great black pit

And the road's filled with people who are filled with shit,

And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

...but not for long...

We all are going to die!

Tell ya why, student drivers, tell ya why!

Because in all of the whole guman race, student drivers,

There are two kinds of drivers and only two:

There's the ones that brake in the improper place,

and the ones that speed like they're in a race!

Look at me, student drivers, look at you!

No, we all are going to die!

Tell ya why, student drivers, tell ya why!

Because the drives of the wicked should be made brief!

For the careless, death will be relief!

We all are going to die!

And I'll never see graduation,

No I'll never wear a diamond ring...

FINISHED!

All right, number five, how about a drive?

If you're lucky, you'll come back alive!

But do

you know

the statistic, five?

The screech of tires...

The stench of burning fuel...

The road will have YOU!

Hahahaha!

And we will all perish

even as we hope!

in the meantime

the road will devour

a dozen more!

Though you nearly have a permit...

And you'll never see a shiny license...

But the road waits...

It's a real killer--

And hungry for you!

"five" refers to the statistic that one in five teenagers will die in a car accident

A/N: What do you think? I had a lot of fun with this one... heehee. It was begun when I took driver's ed last year, and finally finished a couple nights ago. Please review with your opinions. I'd like to see if anyone can relate with my horrible driver's ed experiences. Hope you enjoyed it!