DISCLAIMER: Powerpuff Girls is copyright of Craig McCracken, and I suppose you could say Hannah-Barbera.
RATING: T for language, situations, and overall bad math jokes.
Chapter One- Can I do a U substitution?
author's note: This is just going to be a fun, short fluff-fic for Valentine's day. No real plot. Most likely a 3-shot.
"Leader Girl, we are just 'kiddin you. It's cool not to have a date for 'ol v-day," assured Buttercup with a playful grin.
The pink puff felt her face get hot as Bubbles giggled in the background.
"Actually, I do have a date." She answered back cooly, her heart pounding in her ears. "His name is Cal." Mentally, she face-palmed. Cal was the name for her TI-89 Titanium- one of the best calculators on the market and the only reason she had gotten a five on the AP Calculus AB exam.
Immediately, Blossom's sisters shut up. Before freaking out, the red-head teen took a moment to relish in the pleasure of rendering them both speechless. It felt good, really good.
"You have a date?" Squealed Bubbles, her blue eyes wide in disbelief and her mouth gaping open. 'Ohmigawd my nerdy sister finally has a date. And on Valentine's day! Thisissoromantic. Breathe Bubbles, breathe.' Thought the blond-haired puff excitedly as she began to hyperventilate.
"Well, that's not offensive." Drawled Buttercup sarcastically, staring at her younger sister who looked like she had been shot up with ecstasy. Sticking her hands in her pockets, the seemingly-bored teen directed her attention to Blossom. "Nice job, sis." Walking over to her sister, she stuck out her fist. "Knuckles?"
Blossom hesitantly moved forward, squinting at her sister's peace offering. "What?" She glanced at Buttercup's hand as if it was some foreign alien that had came to invade Earth. Putting out her palm in front of her, the confused teen slowly curled her fingers into a ball. "This?" She questioned with doubt in her voice, feeling really stupid at this point. Not getting an answer, she repeated the motion several times.
Biting down hard on her lip, Buttercup tried not to laugh. "It's a fist, Blossom. It's not going to bite you."
"How about a hand-shake?" Blossom compromised, looking rather awkward at the entire situation. Modern-social-teenager-stuff wasn't her thing. Being a crime-fighter and the leader of the Powerpuff Girls did not make her anymore well versed in the ideas of "#YOLO" "twerking" or whatever a "selfie" might be.
In the background, finally recovering from Blossom's lie, Bubbles shook her head. "That's just sad. You honestly do not know what a fist bump is?"
Still not catching on, the pink puff tilted her head to the side. "Why would not knowing what a fist-bump is be-"
Buttercup effectively cut her off. "Here's some sisterly advice. Just enjoy your date tonight, and try not to talk."
"Oh, but she has to talk. You and Cal just have to come tonight!" Exclaimed her bubbly sister. Not giving a chance for anyone to speak, she continued rambling, "My Damon will be there, and so will Buttercup's boyfriend Mitch. They just started dating. Damon and I have been together for awhile now, about a few weeks. Damon has the most pretty eyes… I told you about about his brother, Julian? We dated back a month or so, but now he is with my lovely friend Katie. They won't be coming, but they make the most adorable couple! I totally ship them. They would make the most beautiful babies, I swear! You have met Mitch though? Can you believe they finally started hooking up! I am so happy for them. I can't wait to meet Cal. I bet he's all smart-like. Did you meet him at the community college? I knew that place would be good for something when you started taking classes there! Is he cute? Oh, he has to be. Almost all college guys are. Well, except this one boy I dated as a Junior who was in his Freshman year- totally ugh, I do not know what I saw in him-"
"BUBBLES!" Screamed both sisters in irritation.
"You did it again," moaned Buttercup, massaging her temple.
"Did what?" The blond puff asked innocently, batting her thick, black eyelashes at her sisters.
Even if Blossom's head was pounding from her sister's monologue, she still caught every word. Mainly the fact that Bubbles wanted to meet Cal. Obviously that wasn't a possibility.
"That sounds like a lot of fun Bubbles, but I have plans tonight with Cal already. Really romantic stuff. Um, we are going to multiply together." She added a non-convincing wink, blushing all the way down to her collar bone. Oh, God- did she seriously just say that? Sure, some polynomials series might be involved, along with calculating out a few derivatives but that was just lame.
Buttercup voiced her exact thoughts, "Even for you, that was fucking lame."
Jumping with glee, her blond sister must have thought the opposite as she skipped over to Blossom. "You have got to tell me every detail! And it isn't tonight-tonight it is like at 5. You and your cutie nerd will have all the time you want to multiply." Bubbles told her happily, before elbowing her sister in the ribs with a wink.
"Yeah… he's like the square root of -1 because he just can't be real," the pink puff chuckled nervously, resorting to math jokes as a way of stalling. Her sisters, who still didn't understand imaginary numbers, stared at her blankly. Which was awesome, because she really needed to get out of the house. And find a guy who could be Cal.
Okay, so she was not a control freak. No, bringing a check-list of qualifications for her fake valentine did not make her a control freak. Blossom had to make sure her 'Cal' was convincible, after all. Her first pretend-lover guy-quality was intelligence. Anyone she dated had to have brains. With that thought in mind, the determined puff flew off to the library. 'He'd probably be studying, by the text books.'
Blossom headed off to the textbook section, where a couple groups of teens were scattered along with a few college kids. She was surprised that so many people would be here on Valentine's day. At least the probability would go up of finding 'Cal.'
Picking a textbook at random, the red-head sat down in a wooden bench tucked safely in the corner. Near her was only a few bookshelves, the categories consisting of books on engineering and computer sciences. Most people only seemed interesting on cramming, so she doubted anyone would come over here.
Next on her list of guy-qualities was attractiveness. Not to sound vain, but Blossom had to be one of the most gorgeous girls in Townsville. The teen was merely teased and isolated because she liked being an introvert. If she actually put effort into her social skills, Townsville High would be eating out of the palm of her hand.
Four guys stood out to Blossom as she narrowed the list down. They all seemed intelligence and attractive. Dusting off her peach skirt, the pink puff had been about to attempt at making conversation with one when she heard the noise coming from one of the shelfs. Thank God for a distraction. Honestly, picking up on hot guys at the library was not what she wanted to be doing with her Valentine's day. Watching Vampire Diaries, eating cherry ice cream, and doing some AP Calc. homework was what she wanted to be doing. Of course her sisters had to ruin that.
Setting her textbook aside, which had actually been one of a four volume set on sexual health- ew, Blossom tip-toed over to the back section on engineering.
Brick was so damn paranoid. If anyone knew he was here, his reputation as a Rowdyruff Boy was over. Done! Could he help it if he was a closet-geek? His counterpart was completely to blame for this shit. Only with half-an-hour to spare before his brothers came looking for him, the ruff continued his search. So far, in his giant black messenger bag he had Probability and Statistics for Computer Scientists, Advances in Nuclear Physics, and Multivariable Calculus 2nd Edition. His fingers itched for vector functions. Now, he just wanted one good book on engineering and he would be gone.
"Are you stealing those?" Accused one of the most sexiest voices he had ever heard. Normally, Brick would never miss a chance to screw with little miss pink but today was different.
"Babe, why would I be jackin' this shit?" The convict snapped, almost wincing as he hurled his sac to the floor. Fuck, that actually hurt to do to his books.
"For one brick-for-brains, that is your bag. Why you would be stealing textbooks that contain knowledge far too advanced for you is beyond me, but-"
No, bitch. Just… no. What would she do anyways if she found out? "Sweets you don't have a fucking clue who I am. So why don't you shut that hot little mouth of yours before I shut it for you?"
Those pink eyes glared furiously at him. "Did you actually just imply what I think you did?"
"We won't think along the same lines ever because the only thing in that pretty head of yours is air." Yes, he did just directly insult her intelligence. And shit, did it feel euphoric.
Her hands clenched into her fists, and her entire body bubbled with rage. She was seething, until she caught what else he had said. "Brick, you just called me pretty," Blossom stated softly, her fury gone. Compliments from Brick were like dividing by zero, impossible.
Trying to cover up his mistake, the teen blurted out with sarcasm, "Sure. And your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors."
Blossom gasped loudly. "That's Calculus. You're making a calculus reference. ...And it's actually really hot."
He sure didn't expect that response. She wasn't threatening to tell anyone? Not even using his secret fetish as some sort of blackmail, or anything… And then there was the fact that even though she was Blossom Utonium, the girl still had a wicked body. Little miss pink was fucking gorgeous. Hell, it was Valentine's day. He could flirt with a hot chick if he wanted too, even if she was a powerpuff.
"Babe, let me be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves," Brick leaned over and whispered in her ear. A playful grin settled on his face as he saw how flustered the pink puff got.
Automatically, a response popped up in her brain. But it was rather… vivid. Throwing caution to the wind, Blossom responded in an attempted sultry voice. "Only if I can be your second derivative so I can investigate your concavity."
Jaw-dropped, Brick had a thousand different responses in his mind. Shit, he even forgot this was simply flirting. "You know set theory? Because I want to intersect and union you," he moaned out against her neck, his lips trailing downwards.
If it had been anyone else, the pink puff would not even hesitate on kissing him. God, who knew her worst enemy would be so… amazing. Sighing, Blossom dejectedly pulled back from him. "You are really hot Brick, but you can't touch this asymptote."
