Keri: Hey everyone! This is a new role-play story by me and a new buddy of mine, Sumgui on deviantart. It's 100 percent finished, and there's going to be more where this came from. We're already thinking about an MPREG one –wiggly eyebrows- C'mon, you pervs like that stuff right?
Anywhoz, I'm going to try and post a new chapter every Monday, Wednesday, and either Friday or Sunday until it's finished.

Warnings: KakuHida, language, mild adult content

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto

Kakuzu – Keri (Ochone.deviantart)

Hidan – Anna (SumGui.deviantart)

Start Chapter Date: March 23, 2008

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In his entire seven hundred plus life Kakuzu had never needed a partner. He had always worked alone and that was how he liked it. When he joined the Akatsuki, for its financial benefits, he had been furious that his boss had attempted to give him a partner. He had killed the first one right off the bat.

But as time wore on he became more and more tolerant, only killing his team mates if they annoyed him. And they always did. Kakuzu had hoped that Sir Leader had finally given up on teaming him up after he had gone through fifty team mates, when one day he had called him into his office and showed him the single sorriest excuse for a ninja Kakuzu had ever seen: The man was beautiful.

Unacceptable, he had thought, ninjas were supposed to be cold, calculating, ruthless and bloodthirsty. He had nearly laughed when he had seen Deidara, and now Leader was forcing that on him? Of course their first day together the smaller man had been kind and had allowed the stitched ninja his space and it had given Kakuzu a kind of hope that maybe the other would make a good partner, for a short time anyhow.

But the kindness, the politeness, the distancing only lasted about an hour and a half before the silver haired child - to Kakuzu anyways - began to pry. Asking him about himself: his past, his likes, his dislikes, why he stayed covered up all the time, what religion he belonged to, what kind of food he liked, why was his room so plain, etc., etc..

Kakuzu had taken a kunai and severed his head clean off. And even as the head rolled onto the floor, the man continued to talk, but he was now complaining, yelling, and just plain being annoying. Once he had learned he would be stuck with the other for the rest of their time in the Akatsuki, Kakuzu promptly punched his boss in the face.

They went on mission after mission together and got a long like a house on fire. Kakuzu estimated that he decapitated Hidan fifty to sixty times a month. And he was very good at estimating.

And so, as their six month anniversary, as some would call it, approached, Kakuzu could feel a sinking in all five of his heartless-hearts as Sir Leader gave him orders to take Hidan out for a long list of missions. He walked back to his room, adjusting his mask as he passed Kisame in the halls; everyone was going out for missions today.

He pushed open the door to the room he and Hidan shared and walked to his desk on the other side of the room. His partner was on his bed, reading his large, leather-bound bible as always. "Get ready, we're going out. Leader-sama thinks we may be gone for two months; probably longer considering your work ethic. But I swear to you Hidan," he said glancing over his should to glare at the younger, "I will stick your head in a bird cage and put it outside during a storm if we take any longer than three." Threatening Hidan's hair always seemed to get things done. "Understand?"

Hidan looked up and scowled at his partner, the customary nail polish and its brush in hand. He had been painting his nails. Very badly. "Screw you dip-shit. My work ethics are fine. I'm not the one taking side trips and picking up stupid bounties!" Hidan promptly tossed the bottle at Kakuzu, but missed so it merely smashed into the wall. Some spattered on Kakuzu's face, and at that Hidan smirked. "You look pretty good in purple, after all your sexual orientation fits it perfectly." Oh yeah, calling Kakuzu gay sure felt good.

Kakuzu stood, trying to control himself. He calmly reached a hand up to wipe the paint off of his face. He looked to the white-washed wall; it would surely have to be re-painted. He then looked to the ruined carpet; he would have to get a new one.

In a fraction of a second the figures and calculations ran through his mind. Kakuzu was not happy with the result. He turned back to the blonde, still calm, still quiet, his face blank. This was not good.

Hidan started to hum a small tune as he stood up. "Well while you stand there I'm going to go get my scythe. It got a little dent and I got Sasori to fix it. And if it will make you happy he did it for free." That was a lie: Sasori had wanted a lot of money for it, so Hidan stole from Kakuzu and said Tobi had done it. He flicked his hair in an almost flirtatious way. "Don't worry your ugly gay head; I'll be ready in time to go."

As Hidan began to walk out the door, Kakuzu made some quick seals, effectively hardening his body to that of a diamond. He was behind Hidan in the blink of an eye and punched the young man right through the door; he stood on the side of Hidan and kicked his head off and into the kitchen. He was still calm, blank, and emotionless as he placed one foot on Hidan's chest and pressed, crushing his ribs.

He turned back to their room as the other members peeked their heads out of their rooms to see what was going on. Deidara rushed to his friend's side, bringing Hidan's head back to his body. "What the hell Kakuzu, hmm? What's you're problem, hmm?"

Kakuzu packed his and Hidan's bag. "He was bothersome and wasteful. For his insubordination, he will not be receiving another bottle of nail polish from me until this wall and floor is paid for." He tucked the bag under his cloak before turning to Sasori. "That scythe, puppet boy, better be good as new. Don't think I don't know where Hidan got the money to fix it; I know how you work and know you wouldn't do something like this for free."

Hidan remained silent until Deidara brought him back to his body. After a quick thank you Hidan turned his attention to Kakuzu. "Fucking dick-shriveled man-whore! What the hell?! And do you think I care about that fucking nail polish? It's so gay, like you!"

Sasori stepped in front of Deidara - he did not want Kakuzu to attack Hidan while Deidara held his head. "He said he stole the money from you." Sasori glanced down the hall at Zetsu. "I pity Tobi, but I can't believe that you believed what Hidan said."

Kakuzu gazed at Hidan in the way that had made his previous partners shrink in fear. He knew fully it would not work against the priest, but he did not care. "Its part of your uniform, idiot, Leader will have your head - both literally and physically - if you don't manage some."

Deidara brought Hidan's ear up to his mouth. "I'll share, hmm," he whispered before Kakuzu could see. He shrunk back behind Sasori just in case.

"Thanks," Hidan said to Deidara.

The stitched man ignored the two pretty boys and kept his gaze on Sasori. "As if I care about Tobi, that hazard was begging to be put in his place." The orange-masked nin had been trying to reveal the secret behind Kakuzu's mask for the mast month and a half. "Look, just get the scythe fixed or neither of us will hear the end of it. I'm ready to go, so hurry, if you would." It was the closest to please Sasori was going to get - he and Kakuzu were sort-of friendly anyways. They got along well enough, but having friends was below both of them.

At Kakuzu's remark about Tobi 'begging to be put in his place', Zetsu's darker half let out a loud snarl.

Sasori gave his 'loaded smile', as Hidan put it. "I finished fixing it awhile ago. It is well made, a work of art. I'll get it." Sasori then headed back to his room for the weapon.

Hidan snorted, rolling his eyes. "You may be ready ass wipe, but I'm not. I'm not going anywhere until you stitch my head back on and my ribs heal." He smirked. "You know we wouldn't run so late if you thought about what you should do to me before you do it. Like that time you smashed my legs? We were two days late because I couldn't walk and you refused to carry me."

At that, Kisame snorted as well and said: "You got burned, Kakuzu-san!"

Kakuzu glanced lightly at Kisame before he snatched Hidan's head from Deidara and stuck in into the bag under his cloak. He threw Hidan's body over his shoulder and waited for his scythe. "I'll carry you this time only because I'm going to want to kick your head through the forest as soon as we get going."

Sasori returned and gave a quizzical look at the scene before him. He then shook his head and handed the scythe to Kakuzu. "Here it is, and you best put his head somewhere else. You'll get blood on your things."

"See?! What did I fucking tell you?! Think before you act!" Hidan's muffled voice said from the bag.

"Hidan's things are on top," he said before making his way to the door, the scythe on his other shoulder. As soon as he was out of the house, he dropped Hidan's head on the ground and began to kick it as he walked.

It was not until dark that they stopped; Kakuzu set his and Hidan's things down and began to get ready for the night. He made a small fire and set some food on to cook before pulling Hidan's body into his lap along with the bruised and dirtied head.

Quietly he hand-stitched the soft, porcelain skin back together, running calloused fingers through Hidan's silver hair. He pulled out the leaves and twigs and a spider or two. Kakuzu grunted, helping Hidan to sit before returning to the food.

Hidan had complained for an hour while Kakuzu had kicked him along the ground, but stopped when he had landed face first into something that had tasted foul. And when Kakuzu's fingers had run across his scalp and the skin of his neck he had forced himself from sighing. Moaning maybe? He was not very sure. It had felt so very good. He would have to perform a ritual for Jashin's forgiveness.

Hidan picked at the stitches before crawling over to the fire. He gave Kakuzu a glance before inhaling. It was now or never. "Um... Why do you wear that mask?" He had asked that once before, but it had ended badly.

Kakuzu twitched in annoyance. "Did your mother remember to install an 'off' button?" he said simply. He stirred the stew one last time before ladling out just enough to keep Hidan happy until morning. He placed a lid on the pot and unrolled two mats for them to sleep on. He always ate after Hidan had fallen asleep.

When the beds were made - placed at a safe distance apart since Hidan tended to roll around in his sleep - he sat on his mat and began to calculate the budget for their mission adding in, of course, the cost to fix their room. He sighed, although his thick mask muffled the sound almost completely. Did he remember to bring Hidan's gel? He did not want to buy the brat another bottle just for the mission. He chewed on the end of his pen through his mask as he dug around in his bag, congratulating himself on throwing the expensive item into it.

Hidan scowled. That was it? Even Itachi talked about himself more then he did. His scowl became even deeper when he looked at the food. It smelled nice, but it looked awful. Hidan looked over at Kakuzu. "Why don't you eat with me? If we talk some then we would know each other better." He set the bowl down and crawled over to Kakuzu and grabbed his arm then gave it a soft tug. "We might not fight as much, and then things would go so much quicker and smoother."

Kakuzu snatched his arm back, glaring at Hidan. The Jashinist knew he did not like to be touched. "Because if we talk about our selves then we become close and if we become close then we'll become stupid and irrational." He stood, now looking down at Hidan. "And besides, isn't eating and talking what people normally do on dates?" He smirked behind the mask. "And here you thought I was the gay one?" He turned from Hidan and began to walk into the forest. "I'm going for a walk. Stay here."

Hidan glared and jumped to his feet with a snarled. "No one else is irrational!" Hidan then ran behind Kakuzu and grabbed the cloth that covered his head and gave it a rough tug. He heard the sound of ripping cloth.

There was a loud clicking noise as the Waterfall Village headband fell to the ground, the metal hitting a rock. Kakuzu froze as his long, stringy black hair fell around his face. All five of his hearts skipped a beat, giving him a feeling of nausea. He ignored it in favor of whipping around and grabbing Hidan's thin and abused neck with both hands. He pressed his thumbs to Hidan's wind pipe and began to squeeze as hard as he could.

"What is your problem?" he hissed. "What is so damned wrong with just leaving people alone when they want to be alone? Why do you feel the need to annoy people to the point where they want to rip out your damn tongue?" He could hardly control the rage wanting to seep into his voice as he glared at the smaller man as hard as he could, the places in his face where there were not any stitching opened as he spoke, showing his teeth through his cheeks.

"Me?" Hidan asked in a raspy voice - he had no need for his lungs to talk. "What's wrong with you? Everyone needs to talk to someone." Hidan dug his nails into Kakuzu's wrists, drawing blood. "I'm trying to be civil but you just won't have it!" Hidan's eyes gave a quick look over Kakuzu's face. He smirked. "And why are covering your face? You look perfectly fine, you don't fucking need it." Jashin, how he hated being choked: It was not that it felt bad, damn it felt wonderful. So wonderful in fact that it turned him on, no matter who was doing the choking. But there was no way in hell that he was going to let Kakuzu see what it did to him.

"I've gone hundreds of years without...people. I'm not going to start now just because you want to get lovey dovey." He let go of Hidan, letting the man fall to the ground as blood and oxygen rushed to his brain. He sighed and retrieved his hood and headband. "Most people don't like to look at me, and I don't like people looking at me. So I wear this; everyone gets what they want." Kakuzu began to make his way back to camp, not caring if Hidan would come or not. He sat back on his mat and began to fix the mask. Kakuzu kept his head bowed, watching the needle drag the thread in and out of the fabric: sewing always calmed him.

Hidan glared at Kakuzu. He stood up and stomped off to slam his skull into a rock. When it came to healing, Hidan's brain to the longest: a week was the shortest time possible. So, seeing as Kakuzu did not know this, Hidan would be a burden to him until he figured it out.
After a good few rams, Hidan lost his ability to see, and being satisfied, stumbled his way back. He knew he was back because as he felt around he had grabbed Kakuzu's still uncovered face. "Kakuzu-kun!" Hidan screamed, to be extra annoying. "I can't see!"

Kakuzu looked up, his eyes still dull and half lidded. "That's because you're an idiot." He set his hood aside and pulled Hidan to sit in his lap; he grabbed Hidan's lower back and pulled him close as he picked the chips of rock and dirt from his wound. "Why would you do this?" he asked quietly. He pulled another needle from his pocket and thread a string through it; the end tied on its own. Gently - so as to reduce the amount of bitching from the Jashinist - he slid the needle through the pale flesh and stitched the wound closed.

"Attention: You don't give me enough," Hidan muttered. "And be careful up there. I'm sure you don't want me to get meningitis or some infection that will make me act like a zombie." Hidan scrunched his face and turned to look some ways away from Kakuzu. He meant to look at his face but chances of that happening when you were blind are slim. "Why the hell do you care anyway? Better yet, why am I in your lap." Hidan felt his way up Kakuzu's sides, chest, neck, and face until he felt the lager man's hair, which he grabbed and gave a small tug. "I thought you hated being close to people and this almost as close as you can get."

Kakuzu sighed heavily. "I don't mind touching, I just don't like being touched. There is a difference you know." Since Hidan was blinded anyways, he let his gaze linger on the others face; not in the normal malevolent way, but in a curious way.

Hidan's face was thin with a pointed chin, his ears stuck out slightly; his nose was small and pointed and sat so cutely between those lovely violet eyes. He always kept his silver hair slicked back with sweet smelling gel made of white lotus and spent more than three-fours of his income on things for his hair: gel, shampoo, conditioner, hair spray, clips, etc. Kakuzu let his fingers ghost across his bare sides, Hidan's coat having been discarded when they had stopped. He swallowed before pushing Hidan onto his bottom. "There, done. Go to bed."

Hidan pouted but crawled around to look for his cloak and mat. After about ten minutes and three occasions of putting his hands in the fire - once on accident and twice to make up for the fact he had done no rituals that day - Hidan found both and felt around again trying to retrace his steps. "Ha, found you!" he said triumphantly to Kakuzu when he had grabbed his hand. He then laid the mat next to Kakuzu's and lay down.

Kakuzu had watched in amusement as Hidan scrambled about looking for his things, enjoying the pain that the fire caused him and the fact he had purposefully injured himself twice. But when the priest dare move to sleep near him he became cross once more. "May I ask what it is you think you're doing?" he asked flatly before pulling his hood back over his head. "You know better than to sleep anywhere near me.
Or is it that you're frightened to sleep by yourself in the dark?" He smirked slightly: Hidan was deathly afraid of the dark. "After all, I didn't bring you're little Aiate-chan." He chuckled to himself as he filled a bowl of food for himself. He had left Hidan's teddy bear back at the base in order to get back at him for wasting time and money.

Hidan glared at a bush several inches from Kakuzu. But it soon turned into a smirk. "Well then..." Hidan half crooned, "You'll have to do." At that Hidan latched his arms around Kakuzu's neck - right on target - and pulled himself into the other man's lap.

Kakuzu froze at the touch; a shiver ran up his spine before he looked down at the younger man. "Get off me, Hidan. Get off me right now or I'm going to-" he stopped and sighed, realizing it would only cause more problems. He sat down by the fire and began to eat, finding it hard to get to his mouth around Hidan's head.

It was not that it was entirely unpleasant, just different. Kakuzu had told the man he did not like touch, but time and time again he used that weakness to get on Kakuzu's nerves. Once finished he stood, taking the still clinging Hidan with him, and flopped onto his bed. "Are you at least going to sleep in your own bed?"

Hidan squeezed Kakuzu slightly. "No. I need to cling to something in order for me to fall and stay asleep." Hidan then roughly tucked his head under Kakuzu's chin and fell silent: he was asleep almost instantly.

Kakuzu groaned at the clinging man. He pulled up his own blankets before tugging over Hidan's to make sure they were equally covered. After that was done and he had wrapped his arms around the smaller frame, he weighed his options:
He could go along with this and have a happy – but still blind and needy – Hidan in the morning.
He could throw Hidan back into his own bed and listen to him bitch for a few days.
He could throw him into the dying fire and fall asleep to the sounds of finally being rid of the man.
Or he could tie Hidan to a tree and sew his mouth shut.
All seemed like good options and all brought a smile to Kakuzu's face. But they would almost all require getting up, waking Hidan, and listening to him complain until the deed was done. So, in the end, he went with just letting the other do as he pleased. He sighed in defeat and rest his head on the top of Hidan's, falling asleep soon after.

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End Chapter Date: March 28, 2008