Disclaimer: I don't own naruto or any of the characters mentioned.
This is just a tiny drabble that I wrote...whilst watching Shaun of the dead. How random! I think Kakashi is in denial XD
If Kakashi was ever lonely, he did not show it.
He had Icha Icha Paradise. He had team 7. There was a whole village of people bustling around him everyday.
He had his mask.
He had his routine. Wake up every morning, get dressed, make breakfast, find some way to make himself late and annoy his team with a lame excuse.
"Liar!" Sakura would shout, and he would smirk; visible even behind the mask.
Kakashi was not lonely. He did not allow himself to be lonely. To be lonely was to be weak.
He did not feel a pang when he saw Konohamru playing with Naruto all laughs and smiles and innocence. He did not feel a pang when he saw Naruto eating Ramen with Iruka, telling him endless stories whilst Iruka beamed with pride. And he certainly felt no pang as he watched Sakura fawning over Sasuke for the millionth time that day, with the youthful exhuberance of first love.
Kakashi did not get lonely.
And if, on a rare occasion, he started to feel like he might, he went to the memorial stone and remembered all the people that were still around him. Even if they weren't...quite- physically- here anymore.
Kakashi could not bear to be lonely. To be lonely would be to admit that he did not like being alone, and Kakashi had to live alone. He would not lose another person that he cared about, memorial stone to remember them by or not.
He told himself that he was born this way; a lone wolf, solitary, isolated. That he liked his life like this- it was easier, less painful. You didn't have to rely on anybody to always be there, and then find they suddenly weren't anymore. Like having a rug pulled out from under your feet.
Kakashi didn't really believe what he told himself. No one is born isolated. You just end up that way. Years and years of having the people around you leave, or die, or-
But Kakashi wasn't lonely. He wasn't lonely. He was never, ever lonely. Because to be lonely was to be weak and Kakashi had long outgrown any weakness.
He was a ninja. He was an ANBU. There was no room for lonliness. No more tears. No more...
He spent his birthdays alone, his christmases alone, his evenings alone.
But if Kakashi was ever lonely, he did not show it.
