/N: Hello everybody! I know I haven't updated my other stories in a really long time, but inspiration hasn't struck me for either When Tragedy Strikes or The Affair. I keep wanting to change the plot and when I settle on a direction for it, another idea pops up. It'll probably be a while before I post another chapter for those. This one's just a one-shot (I think). The idea came to me when I heard a song I really liked. I have a bunch of one shots saved and I haven't posted them, but I think I'm gonna while I settle on plots for my other stories.
Today was the day. The day I will always remember. Till the day I die. Your happiest day, right? It was.
You were getting married. You were supposed to be ecstatic. I don't know why you wouldn't be. The girl of your dreams. The one you were about to exchange vows with. Your future wife. The mother of your future children.
My whole family was invited. So was I. But you knew I wouldn't show. How could I? I couldn't see you get married to her with that expensive ring. I bet she was overjoyed. She's the luckiest girl.
I could have been the luckiest girl…
I stare at the clock. Three o'clock. The familiar need to cry engulfed me. I ignored it. There was no point anymore. Any hopes we'd be together again fully died right there.
I'm a coward. I could have done something all these years. But I didn't. I rejected you so many times. I should've been fighting for our relationship when it crumbled. I just let you do all the work. You got tired and left. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant for us to become me and then you. I never meant for us to end.
I love you. But it doesn't matter anymore. You're a married man. You belong to her now. She's the only one who will ever feel you next to her in the morning. She'll find all your scars and you'll tell her the stories that go with each one. Like you told me when we explored each others soul. I still remember the day I found that tiny scar under your ear and how you told me your cousin had thrown a toy airplane and it had stabbed into your skin...
In that split second, I jumped up and ran to the shower. I was going to the reception. Just to see you one last time. I threw on the dress you loved. The light green long, floor-length gown I had worn when we united our love. Back when we were just foolish kids.
I enchant my hair into loose curls. Just the way you loved it.
I put on the pair of heels to go with the dress and leave my house. With the ring you gave me on my left hand ring finger. The one I never took off. It always hung on my neck or on my finger. My last connection to us.
I stand outside the reception and panic. I was unsure if I really wanted to go in and see you be happy, happy with her. I was going to turn around and leave, but stupid Neville had spotted me and hugged me.
"I didn't know you were coming!" He says, smiling brightly.
"Neither did I,"
He links his hand with mine and leads me in. I can tell he understands me. He knows why I'm here. He's wise. I did the same for him when Luna got engaged to Ralf. I helped him through the engagement party. And I was happy when he moved on and started seeing Hannah Abbott.
"Where's Hannah?" I ask.
"At home. She couldn't come. Her due dates so close,"
I was very close to Hannah. You become very close to your best friend's wives or husbands.
We enter the building and I see a bunch of fancy tables set up, filled with people. Neville leads me to a table near the dance floor. My family is in the next table. They all greet me with that pitiful look.
Hermione spots me from the main table. She smiles at me. She also knows why I'm here. She knows everything. I can't hide anything from her.
She makes her way towards me, but gets interrupted by Ron. They whisper to each other. She gives me an apologetic look as she heads off the opposite direction with Ron.
"I still have hope in both of you," Neville says.
I look at him and shake my head, "He's a married man,"
Neville shrugged, "That's why there is divorce and marriage annulment if a person is already married,"
I was shocked. I had no idea how he knew. No one knew. Except Hermione and Ron. But they probably hadn't thought about it.
"He only needs to make the right choice," Neville added.
Hermione and Ron appear again. She grabs the microphone.
"Can eveybody pick up your glass?"
They all did. Me, included.
"Here's a toast to the newly-weds!"
Everyone took a drink except me. I was too focused on you entering the room, followed by your wife.
You looked amazing. All I could see were your deep green eyes, dancing..
I couldn't. I had to go somewhere. I excused myself to the loo and ran there. I found it by the entrance hall. I stayed there for ten minutes, calming myself and learning how to breathe again.
I could leave, I remind myself. I could leave and never see you again. Or I could stay and be happy for you.
I went back to the hall. And as I entered, our eyes met. I couldn't stop staring. You smiled and waved at me. I couldn't get my hand to move. I just stayed still and let your eyes travel down my body. You recognized the dress and your eyes snap back up to mine.
I quickly left back to the table. I didn't look at you anymore. Hermione came back and pulled me to a corner.
"How are you?" She asked me.
I plaster a smile on my face, "I'm great! I'm happy for him! He looks happy,"
"You're wearing the dress," She points out.
"It was the only one I liked," I defended myself. I knew it was pointless. She always knew.
"Why didn't you go to the ceremony?"
I gave her a pointed look, "It was just too hard,"
She nods knowingly.
"You can stop this anytime, Ginny. You know he'll do it. What happened then was different. You know it was,"
I shook my head. What's done is done. You are happy. I'm not ruining that.
"He's happy, isn't he?" I ask.
"He's content,"
"Who am I to ruin that?" I ask. I turn away from her before she could get another word. I head back to the table and stare at the dance floor. It's empty.
Ron takes the mic, "It's time for the bride and groom to share their first dance as Husband and Wife,"
You lead Ella to the dance floor and the song starts playing.
At last
My love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
I always disliked this song. It's so cliche. I hate it even more now. I will curse anyone who plays the song in my presence.
The guests stand up and applaud as the song finishes. You kiss her and my heart breaks even more. I clap because it's over. Bitter ex.
Couples start heading to the dance floor.
"Come on, Ginny. Let's go dance," Neville says, grabbing my hand and leading me to the dance floor.
I smile at him, "You're amazing, you know?"
He smiles back, "I know. I'm going to pay you back for getting me with the love of my life,"
I shook my head, "You only needed a little push. The rest was all you,"
After the song finishes, we head back to the table. I see you lead her back to your table, bright smile on her face.
Neville gets up and excuses himself. He heads towards the bar. I stop watching his every move and go to my parents.
"Mum, dad,"
My mum smiles at me and I sit down in the seat next to hers.
"How are you, Ginny?" Dad asks.
"Good," I respond.
"Decided to come, huh?" Mum asks.
I nod, "It's Harry's big day. I'm happy for him. It'd be terribly rude if I didn't come to his wedding,"
"You didn't go to the ceremony," She points out.
"I was at work late and wouldn't have had time to go without getting ready,"
My mum nods. She never knew about you and me. She knew of our relationship and why it ended, but she didn't know of that trip we took with Ron and Hermione to Las Vegas in the United States with the excuse of needing a break from all the attention.
You were 19, I was 18.
What happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas... Or so I thought.
Viktor Krum was here at your wedding. You invited him out of respect, despite Ron's insults. He came up to me. I thought he must want to talk about Hermione.
"Would you like to dance, Ginevra?" I did not expect that. I don't think we've ever shared a word.
Too startled to process, I accepted.
He lead me to the dance floor and we swayed. He kept me rather close to him.
"You look beautiful, Ginevra,"
I wanted to say something about my name, but I held back. He was paying attention to me. And he genuinely didn't seem to be using it to piss me off.
"Thank you, Viktor,"
He smiles. Charming.
"I've been admiring you for quite some time. I have been wanting to dance with you since Fleur's wedding to your brother,"
So it's been a while. His admiration for me.
"Why didn't you?" I ask curiously.
"Your cousin told me you were seeing someone. A jealous, big bloke,"
Cousin? I don't recall any cousins knowing I had a boyfriend... Well, if you could call him that.
"Which cousin?" I ask.
His face scrunches up, remembering, "I think his name was Barny Weasley,"
I freeze. Barny Weasley... our fake cousin. Harry Potter in disguise.
I laugh quietly, "He just said it to scare you off. Male Weasley's are a bit..."
"Overprotective?" Viktor finishes off.
I nod.
The song ends, but Viktor made no move to head back to the table. He only pulled me in closer and continued swaying with me.
"I figured out who the boyfriend was when your relationship with Harry Potter was announced in the papers. Even in Bulgaria, you two were on the front cover,"
I stay silent, uncomfortable with the topic.
"I was a bit jealous. You were with Harry Potter, the most famous bloke. My fascination with you only increased. I knew I had to meet you. So when Harry invited me to his wedding to Ella Woolridge, I had to come. I figured you were free again,"
I blushed. I didn't know I had a secret admirer. I felt... weird.
"That's a little stalker-ish, don't you think?" I ask.
He shrugs, "I do whatever I need to get what I want. And I want you,"
I smile at that. I don't answer right away. I instead seek out your eyes. I find them, transfixed into Viktor and me.
Hermione is next to you, talking. You nod and pretend to listen. I smile at you and look away, back to Viktor.
"I don't know what to say,"
"Don't say anything. Just dance with me,"
I wrap my arms around his neck and look up at him, my ring catching the light. I don't get it. Viktor Krum, famous and handsome, going after me.
"Any girl would kill to be yours, Viktor. You're a very famous Quidditch player. Why in the world are you going after me?" I ask.
"Simple," His hand goes up to my cheek and caresses it, "You don't know the power you can have. Any man would kill to be by your side."
He stares into my eyes with admiration.
"You're very kind, but I don't think I can return the feelings. I'm a bit anti-relationship and men at the moment,"
He smiles and laughs briefly.
"Want to go talk about it somewhere we can hear each other?"
I nod. Why the hell not? He lived in a different country and I needed someone to talk to. Desperately.
He leads me out and I can feel your eyes on me. But I'm probably just imagining that. We sit in the couch in the lounging area.
"Tell me, Ginevra. What happened to turn you off relationships and men?"
I sigh, "It's a long story,"
He leans back, "I got time,"
I smile, "My previous relationship didn't end well. We started dating when I was fifteen. And we broke up few months later because he needed to go off and save the world," I look at him and I know he knows who I'm talking about.
"We got back together after the war. And everything was great. I went back to school to finish my seventh year and he joined the Auror program. When I graduated, we spent all the time we could together. I spent my eighteenth birthday in his house. And then we had the brilliant idea to go on a trip with Ron and Hermione. We told my parents we needed a break from all the attention and we went to the States. Have you ever been to Las Vegas?"
Viktor chuckles and nods, "Oh, yeah. Gambling, women. Every man's dream,"
"So you know what it's most famous for among American couples?"
He nods, "Elopement,"
"My boyfriend and I left Ron and Hermione and we went to the casinos. We played roulette and we gambled on the number 31. We were borderline drunk and so we made a bet. If we won, we'd go and elope. I'd get a dress and he'd get a suit. And luck was on our side," I say and I smile at the memory, playing with my ring.
Viktor looks shocked, "So you got married,"
I nod, "We did,"
"How come this wasn't on the news? I imagine 'The Great Harry Potter Got Married' would have made every single front page,"
"No one knew. We kept it between the four of us. Since the wedding didn't happen in the U.K. and we didn't get married through a Wizard church, no one found out. Not even my parents,"
"That's a very well kept secret,"
I play with the fabric of my dress while I continue to speak, "We got very good at keeping secrets. Anyways, we decided to stay married as long as we wouldn't look at it as such until we were ready for that commitment. Two years passed happily. We were very happy together. We were reckless, in love. And on his 22nd birthday, we spent the night in our new home. We didn't think of any consequences. We thought one time wouldn't be enough. We were wrong," I snort and rest my head on my hand, propped up by the pillows, "I'm a Weasley. We're very fertile. I should have known better than to believe..." I wipe my eyes before any tears fall, "I got pregnant,"
"Do you mind if I ask what happened to the baby? If you would have kept it, it would have been all the talk for months,"
I ignore his question, "I found out I was pregnant when I was a month along. My period was late and I just had a feeling. I sat in the bathroom for a whole twenty minutes, in shock. I threw the test away and threw out the trash. I didn't know what I would tell Harry. We weren't ready for kids. He was just starting to get his career on track and I had my Quidditch career. I told him a week later, when we both had a free night and I had gone to a muggle doctor to verify. I blurted it out. I was so nervous. I forgot the plan I made to tell him," I run my hand through my hair and tuck the front strands behind my ear, "He was in shock for a while, but when it had processed, he jumped up and hugged me. It turns out he wanted children all his life, no matter the time. He told me we'd work it out. And I believed him,"
I didn't give Viktor time to ask questions. I jumped back to my story, "Since Quidditch preseason had started, I took a vacation. I didn't tell why. I just said medical reasons. I had told my parents and family a week after I had told Harry. I stayed home, Harry went to work and came home in time for dinner. I was very happy, we even decorated the nursery. Everything was set up for the baby. Then, when I was five months pregnant, I went to my appointment at the muggle clinic. The nurse told me something seemed wrong when she couldn't find a heartbeat and I froze. They did an ultrasound and then looked at me. All they said was 'I'm sorry',"
He sits there and doesn't say a word. I expected him to stay quiet. It's a huge revelation. I continue my story. I'm almost done, "I screamed and denied everything. I had a meltdown. They calmed me down and told me I needed to go into an induced labor the next day. I called Hermione to come pick me up. I was in no state to drive. She took me home and I refused to talk to her. I made her leave after she dropped me off. And I pretended nothing was wrong while I was alone. When Harry got home, he smiled at me and hugged me. He kissed me then he kissed my stomach. Where the baby was supposed to be, alive and healthy, " I feel my eyes start to water, "I pushed him away and started crying. He asked me what was wrong and I lost it. I screamed at him and kept repeating it was my fault. I killed him. He asked who. And I said the baby. I killed it,"
Viktor scooted closer to me and smiled reassuringly, "He froze up and I told him about the appointment and going back the next day. He tried to calm me down, saying we'll be fine. We weren't fine. After that happened, I went mental. I spent the days in the nursery. I never stopped crying. I gave up on life. He tried to hold us together, but I didn't want to fight anymore. I got sent to a psychologist and had to stay at a mental ward because I tried to harm myself. Harry came everyday. But we slowly started drifting away and our relationship became too toxic for us to continue. He reminded me too much of the baby. We ended and here we are now,"
Viktor's arms go around me and hugs me. I hug him back.
Hermione chose that moment to come find me. Her eyes widen. She coughs loudly to get my attention. I jump away from him and wipe the welled up tears from my eyes.
"Hermione!" Viktor exclaims.
She smiles at him, "It's so nice to see you, Viktor. I heard you were here. It's so nice of Ginny to keep you company," She shot me a look, but I pretend I don't notice.
"I was just telling her of how great it is to be back in London," Viktor responds easily and I am grateful.
"We have to catch up. I know Ron will be ecstatic to see you,"
He snorts, "I bet,"
"I'm really sorry to have interrupted you two, but I need Ginny,"
She grabs my hand and pulls me away. I look back and give him an apologizing look.
"What do you need?" I ask her, irritated.
"Ron wants to dance with you,"
I groan. I see Ron and he smiles at me. He and Hermione share a look and he takes my hand and lays the other hand on my back.
"How are you?" He asks.
"Good. I was having a lovely talk with Viktor when Hermione interrupted me,"
Ron stiffened at the mention of Viktor.
"Why are you talking to him?"
"He's interested in me. And to be honest, he's very attractive," I answer casually.
"NO! You may not date him,"
I giggle, "I'm only joking, Ron,"
He visible looks relieved, "That's good,"
"The Maid of Honour is dancing with the groom,"
I look away as he talks, "I kind of want to dance with Hermione now,"
My face blanks. Oh dear Merlin, these cunning mother...
He grabs my hand tight and leads me to where Hermione is dancing with Harry. He calls her name and they stop.
I avoid looking at Harry.
"Mind if I dance with my wife?" Ron asks.
Harry smiles and nods. Hermione winks at me and goes with Ron. I stand there awkwardly, a few inches from Harry. He's the one who asks me to dance. I agree. It would look bad if I ditched him.
When our hands connect, I feel sparks. He's staring at me, but I'm determined not to look at him.
"You look beautiful, Gin,"
I stiffen when he uses my nickname. It's been so long...
"Thank you,"
An awkward silence.
"Congratulations on your marriage. I bet you're so happy," I say. My lousy attempt at making this normal.
"Thanks," Harry says, "How have you been? With the therapy?"
"I haven't been in therapy for a year," I tell him softly.
I look up at him and he looks deeply ashamed, "I'm sorry. I haven't been there for you. I didn't realize how much time had passed since then,"
I stare into his eyes. A fatal move.
"Yeah, seems like so long ago,"
The tears threaten to fall without warning. I don't even know why I'm getting teary.
He knows me too well. I can see it in his eyes. He knows I'm close to coming undone.
"How I wish this was our day," I think.
I stopped. I said that out loud. Oh fucking god..
"Ginny..."
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean for that to come out!"
"I wish we could have worked out too, Gin. You're the only girl I ever truly loved,"
I smile sadly.
"You'll always have a place in my heart. But we both know it was for the best. I hurt you too much,"
"Selfless git. You didn't hurt me. I hurt myself. You just tried to hold me together,"
You stay silent.
The song ends. And our song comes on.
When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case...
Our eyes meet slowly. We don't stop swaying. My head rests on your chest and I hide my face from view. The tears come.
When did I become so weepy?
"I love you, Gin," You say.
"Can I ask you a question?" I ask. My head's still resting on your chest.
"Of course,"
"Why did you marry her?"
You sigh and take a moment to respond.
"She's the first girl who made me forget about our relationship. I felt myself again after what happened,"
It breaks my heart. But I know it wasn't his intention. He's just honest.
We stay silent the remainder of the dance, hearing the lyrics.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong,
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry,
I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue,
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do,
To make you feel my love,
Ooohhh mmmm
The storms are raging on the rolling sea,
And on the highway of regret,
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet,
I could make you happy,
Make your dreams come true,
Nothing that I wouldn't do,
Go to the ends of the earth for you,
To make you feel my love,
To make you feel my love,
I lift my head and wipe my tears. I plaster a smile on my face
"I should probably get going now. I have an early practice tomorrow morning,"
You look as if you want to say something, but you don't. You stay quiet and nod.
"Have fun on your honeymoon. Tell Ella congratulations for me, OK?"
You nod again, "I'll lead you out,"
I shake my head, "It's fine,"
You insist, so I agree. We walk out to the door. We stand outside, in front of each other.
"She's a very lucky girl. She's married to the bravest guy," I say.
You smile, "Thank you, Gin,"
"I'm really happy for you, Harry," I tell him, and I continue before he can respond, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for screwing us up, for falling apart, for not being strong enough, for killing-"
I was near shouting when you wrap your arms around me.
"You don't have to apologize for anything. You didn't do anything wrong. Everything happens for a reason. It wasn't our time for a responsibility like that,"
"I'm sorry for ruining your day,"
You shake your head, "You didn't ruin it. You could never ruin it,"
You look down at me and lean. Our faces are so close. I make the final lean and our lips meet.
We both know what this kiss means. It isn't a kiss to start something again.
It's a goodbye kiss.
A kiss of closure.
Oh, but I so hoped it wasn't.
