A/N: Usually I try to give a witty author note...
But right now, after iLost My Mind, all I can provide you with is this...
"I don't know, Seddie happened."
That's all my brain can process right now. That's all.
Oh, BTW, iLost My Mind did NOT occur in this fic. iOMG did.
Inspiration: Gravity by Sara Bareilles. (Not that it really matters.)
"you're o n t o me"
FanFic by: KeyLimePie14
You groan, rolling over to shove your face into the pillows, not wanting to get up and go to Carly's like you're supposed to, and silently praying that you'll accidently suffocate and this nightmare will be over, a distant memory. You wish, sometimes (most of the time), that you would have never fallen in love with him. He's the prey, you're the predator. Last time you checked, lions don't search for a mate in a gazelle, they eat them. Oh, if only you could be a lion. Things might be simpler, might make more sense. But maybe, deep down inside you there is a feeling that tells you that you and he were never enemies, that maybe you were always destined to be friends…or something more (if he would allow it because lord, you're already on board).
No matter how hard you try you can't get him out of your head. You like to think that he can't get you out of his, but there's always a little tug at the bottom of your heart that tells you he probably doesn't think about you as often as you do about him. You did the thing you promised yourself you would never do; you brought your walls down for someone to enter the sanctuary you'd built around yourself. And for some reason you can't comprehend, you trust him with your heart. Even though he will probably break it, you trust him to hold onto it, and clutch it for dear life.
Carly doesn't understand what you're going through. It's so easy for her to show her feelings- she wears them on her sleeve. Sometimes you wish you could be more like her, not afraid to feel, not afraid to love. After all, that was part of the reason he fell in love with her. She's everything you're not, how could he not see past that? You admit that it's crazy to hope that he'll love you, but that's just it, maybe all it takes is a little hope?
All of the boys who you've been attracted to in the past seem insignificant to Freddie, but you don't want to sound cliché in saying that it seems as if the stars have aligned for you. It's anything but that; you don't believe in fate. Everything happens for a reason. One action leads to another, causing a domino effect. Bad decisions result in outcomes likewise. Good decisions… well, you haven't made many of those. You used to consider your kisses with Freddie good (great) decisions, but you aren't so sure about that any more…
You would never say it out loud, but it's less of the stars aligning as it is gravity pulling you towards him…
Sooner or later you're bound to crash in a cloud of fire and smoke.
Once in a while you stare. You can't help it, really. His smile, (oh god, help you because you're starting to sound - think – like Carly) as cheesy as it sounds, is one of your favorite things to look at. Although a close second is his eyes (please, someone needs to fetch you a barf bag).
It's been a few weeks since you kissed him (but he didn't kiss back) and now every time your eyes meet with his (which isn't often; you like to avoid it) something weird happens, something even weirder than the butterflies that erupt in your tummy, making you want to vomit, or cry out your feelings in hysteria. His eyes will drift down your face to rest on your lips, then they trail on past… down your chest to your legs all the way to the toes of your shoes. You can always feel the heat rise to your cheeks when he does that. It makes you feel naked even though you know he couldn't possibly be thinking about slamming you against a wall and kissing you hard and fast, his warm breath trickling across your neck…
"Puckett, come on. Carly's outside waiting for us," Your eyes snap to the door, where Freddie is standing, holding your jacket in his hand and looking impatient. You huff in annoyance and stride across the room and grab your jacket from his hand, not bothering to shrug it on as you exit the apartment. Behind you, he laughs and you imagine him shaking his head, his brown hair shaking as he does so. You smile a little as the door slams shut and he nudges your shoulder with his, challenging you to a race to Carly.
Panting heavily, you latch onto Carly's side, "Hah! I win, Benson! Mama is forever the champion!" Carly swats you away and begins to straighten her jacket out as she gives you both a look of amusement and disapproval.
"Can you guys go one minute without challenging each other or fighting?"
You smirk, knowing that he's doing exactly the same right behind you, "That would be boring, now wouldn't it?" Freddie chuckles lowly, and your smirk fades a tad as you feel his breath hit your neck.
"Yes, it would," he agrees, stepping up beside you and Carly. You fall into step with one another quickly as he continues, "Very boring, indeed," His eyes are watching your face, you can feel them.
You pull your jacket on as you feel a shiver run up your back at the intensity of his gaze.
Somewhere along the way from the Groovy Smoothie to the corner of the avenue you're now standing on, you've lost Carly. Well, you haven't really lost her more than she's probably caused herself to be lost along with the guy she started flirting with in the Groovy Smoothie. Truthfully, you were happy when you could no longer hear Carly's loud, too loud, laugh resonating behind you. Everything the boy said was not that funny.
You glance at Freddie and see that his face is slightly more relaxed as well, probably for the same reason that yours is. "Looks like we lost her," you breathe, smiling over at him.
"Or she lost us," he laughs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his suede jacket. You nod in agreement and watch the concrete pass underneath your beat up sneakers as you walk. Without purpose you glance up at him every so often, partially to be sure he's still walking step-by-step with you and partially just so you can look at him. He's wearing a red shirt today, a normal polo, but there's something about the way it fits snugly in all the right areas- his biceps, his chest- that make it so you can't look away. "Sam?" He's looking at you confusedly, his head slightly cocked to the right.
"Quit staring, dork," You roll your eyes, looking anywhere but his face. He steps, irritatingly, closer to you and chuckles.
"I should say the same thing to you. I was afraid you were staring so hard that you were going to burn a hole right through me," He pauses, eyeing you curiously, "What were you looking at, Sam?" You swallow and focus on something other than the blush you feel rising up your neck making you feel hot.
"You have a booger," You reply, smirking. You watch in amusement as his face changes to one of shock and his hand flies up to his nose so quickly he hits himself. He wails out your name in annoyance- a sound that you have become accustomed to hearing- and you laugh at loud. "I've done that to you so many times and you still believe me!"
"I'm not gullible!" He shouts, for no reason at all. You both know the truth. He's probably the most gullible person you've ever met.
"Right, and I'm not violent," You snort, shoving his shoulder. He glares at you for a moment before he smiles. "Get the look off your face, Fredloser. Eyes straight ahead," He shakes his head, disobeying you, and slows his footsteps causing you subconsciously to follow him when he stops.
Softly he speaks, "Why were you staring at me, Sam?" He steps ever closer to you and meets your eyes and something about his stare keeps you from averting them. "I've… wanted to talk to you alone."
You look around, a small smirk resting on your lips, "We're alone now," You look around again and noticing a hobo lying on a set of stairs to an apartment building you giggle and point at him, "Minus that hobo, of course." He follows your finger and laughs upon seeing the hobo.
"Yes, minus him, of course," He's looking at you again. The butterflies return with a vengeance, and man, you know that Carly thinks butterflies are so pretty, but you're beginning to think that they are evil creatures, out to destroy you from the inside out. "Sam…" He's staring you up and down again, only this time you're close enough to see the way his eyes darken as he skims over certain places of your body. Habit tells you that you should punch him in the groin for it because he can't be having clean thoughts about you, but for some reason it only makes you blush that much harder.
"Freddork?" You question, trying to sound nonchalant like this isn't having such an effect on you.
He looks panicked for a second, and then he takes a deep breath, "Sam, will you, um, do you want to, uh," He stutters, looking like he might vomit right on your shoes.
"Spit it out, Benson."
"Willyougoonadatewithme?" He rushes all in one breath, making you pause for a moment to make sure you've heard him correctly. Your eyes widen slowly as it sinks in and your mouth opens and closes, gaping like a fish. His panicked look from before intensifies and he reaches out as if he's going to grab you. You stare at him in disbelief, but you fight the urge to run away. Under any other circumstances you would have given in to the fight-or-flight response, but this time you know you have to answer, and that means putting your insecurities behind you. After all, you want this- him- so badly.
You nod rather stupidly, but you still can't find any words that wouldn't ruin this moment in one way or another, so you decide it's best to stay silent.
He blinks and stares. His eyes roam to your lips, and oh, you think your heart just stopped. He's going to kiss you. He's going to kiss you. You bite your lip and hope that your internal gushing isn't apparent on your face. There are some things that need to be kept to yourself.
"Can I…?" He trails off as he leans in, his lips catching your bottom lip in a soft kiss. Your eyes close and suddenly you realize that it must have been gravity all along.
Fate doesn't exist. But gravity and love sure do.
~The CABAL~
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From fluff, to face melting angst.
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