Title : Just Friends
Author : Me
Rating : PG-13
Warning : Slash. AU.
Disclaimer : Don't Own. Don't Sue. Don't Tell. Never Happened. Only in my dreams.
Pairing : Sirius/Remus
Chapter : 1/?
Summery : Remus and Sirius hid their true feelings about each other from each other, which begins to destroy not only their friendship, but all the other friendships they made with it.
Author's Notes : Read and Review please. Its my first crack at a Sirius/Remus ship. And I loved to read them. And I haven't written in ages so just please..read it..
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Remus John Lupin, known as Moony to his closest friends only, tossed and turned in his bed. It was happening again. That dream..that nightmare. He wasn't sure what to call it.
Remus was walking into a room, closing the door being him. It was somewhere in Hogwarts. An Empty classroom. An empty guest room. He didn't know. It was just somewhere that was empty.
There was a bed in this room. He slowly padded his way over to it and sat on the edge of it. Taking off his robe (as his shoes had been removed at some point in time), Remus rose and walked to the door.
There was someone on the other side of the door. Remus didn't know who it was..yet. The person on the other side of the door was defiantly male. Remus knew that much. It always was.
The Milli-second Remus' fingers brushed the doorknob everything was spinning. It looked like a movie, changing scenes..changeing places. First he saw the blue sky, filling with clouds. It was moving, and fast.
The moment he managed to take it all in he was in a room, there was a small girl on the dusty wooden floor playing with 2 dolls. One was a male doll and the other was female. They were rag dolls. Remus watched her as she slammed the dolls together, as if forcing a kiss.
Then Remus saw his hand, tearing at the skin on someones back. He saw this then a kiss. He was kissing someone. More than likely the Mysterious Mr. On the other side of the door.
Then he saw two people. He knew what they were doing. Their legs were tangled together as they rolled in the bed. Their body's covered by a large white sheet. He also knew who those people were.
And He knew he was one of them.
Thats when the image changed to two piercing blue eyes. The image gradually zoomed out so he could see the face of his would-be-dream lover. Sirius. His best friend Sirius. Padfoot..
And him.
That thought was enough to jolt the 16 yr Lycanthropy out of his slumber and wide awake. He was panting. A light coat of sweat covered his body and he was shaking horrifically.
But yet he had a smile on his face. A small smile. And he just wanted to be able to wipe it away. He knew his subconscious had scared him. But the overall mood of the dream had been..pleasent..to say the least.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the sandy haired boy slide out of bed. It took him what seemed like an hour to make it out of the boys dorm quietly, though in reality it was only a few minutes.
Remus sighed softly as he sat down on the scarlet couch, curly up comfortably in front of the slowly-dieing flames in the fireplace. It had to be about..1..maybe 2 a.m. It felt much later. And Remus felt tired. But could he really risk falling asleep again and slipping off into a more..detailed dream? The dream that had startled him wasn't that detailed. Everything had always been covered up.
Remus had always thought of his padfoot as his padfoot. Best Friends forever and all that sentimental shit. And Remus always thought himself decidedly straight. Even with the very rare thoughts that tended to slip into his mind about other guys..
But this dream was different, this dream was pleasant. This dream had made him feel good. And Remus couldn't handle that.
Remus perked his ears up as he heard footsteps in the boys dormitory. Someone had awoken and was coming into the common room. Remus heard a bump followed by a, obviously failed attempt, muffled "Fucker!"
Sirius.
Slowly the footsteps made their way to the door of the dormitory. And down the stairs. Halfway down the stairs Remus heard Sirius bump into, more than likely, the wall and murmur a "Fuckshitbuggerprickarseheadedhole!"
Remus' small smiled widened a bit. Sirius did always have the colorful language.
But what could he do now? Sirius would come down and ask what he was doing up so late.. and Remus couldn't just lie to his best friend.
Right then.. he couldn't just leave and be found by a prefect. And Sirius' footsteps were getting closer. He could see Sirius in his mind. He had to be close to the bottom of the stairs.
With a panic Remus closed his eyes and flopped over in a ball sideways. He was almost crying. He felt awful. He should be sharing the nights events with the one person he felt he could share anything with. And now they had a secret. 'Our First Secret' Remus thought with a grimace as he heard Sirius walk over to the couch and sit down next to him. 'Don't move' Remus' mind told him, and he was listening intently.
Sirius just stared at Remus for a few moments before murmuring, "I wish you were awake, Moony. I had this awful dream." Did Sirius suspect Remus of being awake. Remus held his breath as Sirius continued, "I was in Knocturn Ally when someone came up to me...you know those old Muggle Movies I used to watch in first year? This guy went all funkafyed Chinese on me..He unleashed all this Wiggy Shit.."
Remus had to fight off a snort. When Sirius was drowsy Remus sometimes suspected he didn't know what words he was using. Sirius gave a small sigh, "He got on my neck and started hopping on it..Like a trampoliene.." Sirius shook his head, "The Mother fucker picked me up, bounced me, then threw me into fucking oblivion."Remus couldn't help it. At that he snorted. Sirius chuckled a bit. "He was all The Microwaves defrost Hot Dogs, and I was all 'What the fuck is a Microwave' and he was all 'arr, yeah De do!' Where the fuck the Caribbean accent came from I have no fucking idea.."
Remus' snorts turned into deep chuckles as he fought to contain himself. Sirius remained silent as Remus tried to do the same. After a few minutes the awkward silence filled the room.
Sirius stared at Remus for a minute. Which seemed like eternity. He let his eyes roam over Remus' body while he ran a hand threw his saggy hair. He couldn't admit it openly, but there were feelings there that he could not describe. And he didn't want to feel toward his friend.
'Just Friends' Sirius thought as the hand which had been preoccupied with his hair moved to lightly touch Remus' soft cheek. 'Just A Touch. A Meaningless tough' Sirius' mind thought as his hand begged to differ. Sirius' fingers lightly ran back and forth over the soft cheek it was touching, and Sirius was, quite literately, aching with trying to not turn it into a caress.
Remus froze. Sirius was touching his cheek. He didn't know what to do. It had been a rough night and this was only making it worse. He couldn't help but blurt out, "That feels good, more please."
Sirius jolted his hand away as if it had been burned. Remus held his breath again. Sirius tried to dismiss the thought that Remus had meant what he said. He needed to build his confidence in the statement, so jokingly he said, "At least one of us is having good dreams tonight, eh Mate?" as an afterthought, and after casting a wistful glance at the stairs, he said "Well, I'll leave you to your dream girl. G'night" before standing and hurrying up the stairs and back into the boys dorm.
Remus slowly sat up. Sirius couldn't wake up and find Remus sleeping in his bed, so Remus would have to sleep on the couch tonight, as Sirius would expect. "What have I done?" Remus murmured as he tried to find a comfortable position for real this time, "Butchered our friendship to bits..And burnt the bits into ashes.. and dumped the ashes in a sewer where a rat ate them and.." Remus' thought trailed off as his eyelids closed and he feel back into slumber.
