a/n form Claw: I wrote this since I love Chess and it is lacking in fics. Well anyway, I hope you like it. Sadly Blondie was not harmed in the makeing of this (:D) , because she was away for the week.

This is pre-chess, so they are still dating.

Florence sat down on the bench, wondering where Freddie was. They were supposed to be going on a date, however he was about 30 minutes late. 'Maybe he blew me off.' Florence thought. 'Or maybe he is just stuck in traffic.' She laughed at the mental image of Freddie with road rage.

Florence sat for a few minutes, her concentration broke when she heard "HEY SEXY!" yelled at her direction.

She immediately thought 'please don't be…'

"IT'S ME! FREDDIE!" the voice yelled. Florence turned to see Freddie standing there, punch drunk.

He walked (more like stumbled) over and sat on the bench with her. "Hey, babe. Kay, where ya wanta go?" He asked, his voice slurred.

Florence put her head down on her hands. "Freddie, have you been drinking?" she asked, knowing it was a dumb question.

Freddie tried to look her in the eye, but his vision was blurred, so he ended up staring at her shoulder. "No, course not, baby. How irresponsible do you think me is?"

"I am" Florence corrected "Freddie, damnit, you know I hate when your drunk!"

Freddie smirked. "Oh really, you didn't hate when I was drunk on Friday night!"

Florence quickly glanced around to check if anybody had heard. "Come on Freddie, you need to sleep this off."

Freddie chuckled and hugged her messily. "Aw, babe. Sex already? Wow, you get horny fast."

Florence's eyes widened. "Freddie, quit being a bastard. You know perfectly well that's not what I meant."

Freddie wrapped his arms tighter around her. "Sure, babe, sure." he said.

An old couple who sat across the park stared at them. "Freddie, ehy the hell did you have to get drunk now?" Florence asked, irritated. Freddie didn't answer, instead he moved his hands to Florence's breasts. "FREDDIE!" she yelled as she quickly moved his hands. She looked at the old couple and blushed.

"Aw, you know you loooooooove it!" Freddie said smugly.

Florence narrowed her eyes. "Not in fucking public! Of all days to get wasted! How much did you drink?"

Freddie got up and walked to the fountain. And then barfed in it. "Pleasant." Florence mumbled "Tell me how much you drank."

Freddie smiled and spread his arms as far as they could go. "Just this much." he giggled. "HOLY SHIT! THAT IS SEXY!" He ran to a statue and began to hump it. Florence stood mortified. You would be too, if your 24 year old chess champion boyfriend was humping a statue in a public park. Scratch that. You would be mortified if he humped a statue anywhere.

The old geezers kept staring at Freddie and shaking their heads, murmuring things like "poor boy."

Florence walked over and ripped him away. "Bad Freddie, no humping anything."

Freddie smiled and his eyes went in different directions. "But it so fucking hot! It has nice boobs!" he argued.

"Umm…Freddie, the statue is a man." Florence said quietly.

Freddie's mouth formed an 'O' shape. "Well, you have nice boobs! Hehehe! I like that word! Boob! Boob! Boooob!

"Freddie, shut up, please." Florence begged, although she knew this was going nowhere. Freddie wandered back to the bench and sat down. Florence quickly sat down next to him. "Well, so much for a for a romantic walk in the park." Florence mumbled.

Freddie smirked slyly (and Dunkley). "Oooh, Romantic you want, romantic you'll get." He wrapped Florence in a bear hug and began kissing her neck. Then he began to nuzzle her shirt sleeve down.

"Freddie, no!" Florence said while fixing her shirt. The old people were still glaring at them.

"Whaaat?" Freddie asked childishly.

Florence rolled her eyes. "Come on, even you should know not to undress people in public."

"But what if they are soooo hot that you cant help it?" Freddie argued.

"Yeah, I don't think this has to do with my looks. I think this has to do with your drunkenness. Besides, too much public affection is bad."

Freddie looked shocked. "What are you telling me this is bad?" He asked as he kissed Florence.

"No, that's okay." she answered.

"Well, how bout this?" He asked as he picked her up and placed her on his lap.

"Um, I guess it okay, kind of." she answered. Freddie began to try to make her wiggle her hips. "What the hell are you doing?" Florence asked.

"Making you give me a lap dance, duh." Freddie answered as if it was the most common thing in the world.

Florence rubbed her eyes against the heal of her palms. "Freddie, no lap dances in public."

"Aww." he pouted. "But your lap dances are fun."

Florence raised an eyebrow. "I've never given you a lap dance."

Freddie looked confused. "Oh," he stated dumbly "Well, you should start."

Florence had decided that this date wouldn't get any less suggestive, so it was best he go home and sleep it off. "Come on, we're going home." she said. Freddie followed Florence to the car. She looked at the old couple who were still starring. Freddie wrapped his arms around her waist and the old people stared with disgust.

"OKAY! WILL YOU STOP GAWKING! YOUR JUST JEALOUS, CAUSE WE ARE YOUNG AND IN LOVE. YOU CAN SUCK IT!" Freddie yelled to them.

Florence smiled and thought, 'Sometimes Freddie can be one of the most helpful people without realizing it.

Oh, and sometimes he can be one of the most embarrassing people without realizing it. Like for instance, humping a statue.

But, you gotta love him.'

a/n: Review please. Click the pretty button.