Dear Diary,

Today I was awesome on the battlefield, and won, as usual. Today we fought some guys up north, you know near 'winter' (England). After the battle I met a strange man who said that he came from farther up north than my empire. I wonder if he comes from that 'Scandinavia' place I heard of. He introduced himself as 'Germania' but did he look so strange! Especially for a fellow nation. His skin was so white, his hair was yellow and incredibly long, and get this, his eyes were blue! Still, I have the feeling that he's an awesome warrior. Perhaps, I'll try to make friends with him. Well wish my luck!

From the diary of Rome

Rome closed the book that he named his diary that he bought from some trader only a few years before. He had written that particular entry when his diary was new. Rome rolled over in the grass to look at his now close friend, Germania. "You know Germania..." Rome began.

"This better not be about some battle you had, or women," Germania interrupted.

Rome laughed joyfully, "No, I was just thinking that when I first met you, I thought you were a freak!"

Germania glared darkly at Rome, not finding it very funny, "Really? you thought I was a freak did you?"

Rome shrugged, "of course, I had never met a person that looked like you, but now that I think about it... You must so popular with the ladies!" he exclaimed.

After Germania smacked his companion across the face he asked, "and do I want to know why you think so?"

"Your hair!" Rome declared, "Like isn't it, like so totally fabulous? If I had a mane like that imagine how popular I would be, and how useful it would be when making love~ Gimme some of that lovely hair of yours!" Rome added getting close to Germania with his grubby, and perverted fingers.

Germania smacked Rome again. "Do. Not. Think. Of. My. Hair. As. A. Sex. Toy!" he yelled at the brunette adding another slap for each word.

Rome pouted "Aww I'm so jealous of your hair Germania, can't you just give me a little bit of it? I am your friend right?"

"No." Germania responded firmly.

"But..!"

"NO!"

Rome sighed, Germania wouldn't give him any of his long, blond, and flowing hair... at least with not willingly. Rome grinned evilly. Germania had to go to sleep at some point, and that would be when Rome would make his move.

That night Germania fell into a deep sleep, despite his suspicions of what Rome intended to do to him. Once Rome had confirmed that Germania wouldn't wake up, and that they wouldn't be disturbed he snuck into Germania's tent. Rome started to drool in anticipation as he approached the gullible sleeping German. Slowly Rome brought out out his weapon of choice and began his nocturnal activities.

The next morning Germania woke to find himself naked, and bald. Appalled he grabbed grabbed his sword and yelled, "Why am I bald, why am I naked, and most of all why am I wet!" as he burst out of the tent.

Rome, wearing a wig of Germania's hair chuckled as the German approached his tent. "Oh why hello Germania~" Rome teased Germania as he entered his tent "Rather breezy today isn't it. By the way have you noticed my beautiful hair? And, don't worry about your clothes I made sure the ladies will return them when they're done with them~" Rome scoffed.

Clearly irritated Germania held his sword up towards Rome's head and yelled, "Rome! You are dead!"

Thus was the end of the Roman empire.

Author's note- This story was inspired by something I read in a book about Europe in the barbarian days. Apparently the Romans were jealous of the German's hair, and so they wore wigs in order to copy the Germans, imaging Rome trying to copy Germania was so funny I couldn't resist writing something like this.

My dad once mentioned that when the Romans came to England they hated it, and so called it winter because they thought it was too cold.