"FIX"
by AishiExcel
I honestly don't have much to say about this one. The pairing is bizarre; this was just a concept I came up with over thanksgiving break and I decided to finally post it. I don't own Deathnote. Enjoy.
"You 'fixed' him, damn it, now 'fix' me," B begs.
Matt turns away; B is too close. His hands are bunching up the collar of Matt's striped shirt. B's breath smells like strawberry jam and the copper bite of blood.
"I don't know what you mean. Do you mean Mello?"
"YES!" B snaps. "Mello. You fixed him. Can't you do the same for me?"
Matt somewhat understands, but he asks just to be safe. One can never be too safe where B is involved.
"By 'fixed', you mean…"
B buries his face in Matt's throat and releases his collar. A soft groan, then: "He was like I was… barely all there, barely holding his mind. And then YOU came along, and he's holding better, and his eyes are clear and he doesn't smell like blood anymore…."
A soft smile breaks across Matt's face as he realizes. His stance is still awkward, tense, but he tries to relax a little. "I don't know HOW I fixed him, though, B… I didn't set out to do all that. I just loved him. That's all I did. I loved him."
B looks up into Matt's eyes. Even through the glass-tint of Matt's goggles he looks… so very desperate.
"Couldn't you just love me too?"
Matt looks B over carefully. The eyes-those are desperate and wavering, pleading. His crooked spine makes him shorter than the redhead, although Matt knows he's older. He looked bent, worn, frayed from years of forced laughs and diets and bad posture.
His hands are smaller than he makes them look, Matt notes. He spreads his fingers in spiderlike movements, but his hands aren't much bigger than Mello's.
His nose resembles Mello's.
His mouth looks more like Matt's.
Matt WANTS to love him, in that instant, like he wants to love every wounded animal and broken car he stumbles across. He wants to love B like he wants to love any thing that 'needs' him- he wants to take him home. He can hear it in his head-
It only needs a new fan belt and it'll be running perfectly again; I can sell it once I've fixed it.
It followed me home, meowing; just a few days to make sure it doesn't starve to death and then I let it go.
I promise I won't get attached.
Matt had to stop caring for wounded animals because they kept biting him. Too many cat scratches, too much blood lost. He had to stop bringing home project cars because the garage got full; he never wanted to sell them when they were repaired. He gave up on all of them- all except Mello.
He tentatively reaches up. Touches B's hair. It's not as soft as he expected- it's hard and full of gel and spray. What looks like natural bedhead is a carefully styled lie.
But he's so much like Mello.
"My love won't fix you. Not like you want it to."
"It fixed Mello."
Matt smiles softly again, thinking of long nights and guns pressed to his head and soft, loving threats. "No it didn't. He just loves me is all. He's not okay, but he loves me."
