For You
Author's Note: So, this randomly came to me while I was listening to a song that has absolutely nothing to do with what's happening here. "If You Only Knew" by Shinedown. Go figure. Please, be gentle! I'm still new to writing TVD fic and I'm just rusty in general.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries
She wasn't thinking of Stefan when she did it. Her mind wasn't worrying about him leaving with Katherine. She wasn't thinking about all the bad things she did or the people she threatened. No, Elena Gilbert only had one person on her mind as she drove a stake into the vulnerable vampire's heart.
Damon Salvatore.
Tears stung her eyes as she watched her doppelganger stumble backwards before falling to the floor with a loud thud. Elena could barely watch as Katherine perished. She should have felt happy, ecstatic even, that the one person that could tear her life apart was gone. All she felt was guilt.
The feeling rushing through her veins didn't even make any sense. Elena Gilbert did not feel guilty for taking away the one girl Damon 'loved'; she felt guilty for doing it for personal reasons. She couldn't explain it, not even to herself.
"Are you okay, Elena?" Alaric Saltzman's voice shocked her.
She almost forgot he was the one helping her. After she crossed the threshold into the temporary residence and found Katherine it was like he didn't exist anymore. But that was silly; he was, after all, the one to hit her with a vervain dart.
"Fine," she muttered halfheartedly. The petite brunette turned away from the lifeless body on the floor and wiped her eyes. The guilt was consuming her. What would Damon do? Get even?
Alaric closed the space between them and gave Elena's upper arm a light squeeze. "Should I get Stefan?"
"No!" She cried, surprising not only the teacher but herself as well. "I mean, I should tell Damon first. Can you get him?"
The words sounded foreign, even to her ears. Alaric reinforced that with raised eyebrows but he didn't say anything. In the past couple of months he, much like everyone else, was well aware that Elena had grown close to the older, much more dangerous Salvatore brother. It was no secret that she was almost spending more time with him than her boyfriend.
The teacher gave a slight nod before turning on his heel and walking out of the house. As soon as she was sure he was far enough out of earshot, Elena allowed herself to fall to the ground. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, a soft tear slipping from her right eye. It slid down her cheek and tasted salty on her lips. She wasn't sure why she was crying. Having Katherine out of her life was a good thing, right?
She knew that was true but if she looked a little deeper within herself, she knew that wasn't why she was crying. Elena couldn't have cared less that Katherine was dead. It was more that she was the one to kill her and the biggest piece of reasoning she held wasn't as selfless as she'd like others to believe. Somewhere down the line she bonded with Damon in a way she had never bonded with anyone else. With that came unfamiliar feelings; she didn't like the way he was with Katherine or how she felt she was losing him to her. The good thing about having such a connection was that she was privy to the information that he didn't like it either.
But that wasn't all of it.
Elena also didn't enjoy the way she was stealing both of the Salvatore brothers away from her. It was silly; she had them first. But in the seven months since her arrival, Katherine had both brothers at her every beck and call. Especially Stefan. It was unnerving and upsetting and she was threatening to kill everyone Elena cared about. So if anyone asked or if anyone just looked into it, they would know Elena had good reason to drive the stake through her heart. They wouldn't, however, realize that the main driving factor, the one reason that shoved her over the edge had nothing to do with 'the greater good'.
"Elena?" Damon's silky smooth voice rumbled through her but she couldn't look up. She felt him kneel beside her, his cool hand gently touching her back. "Elena?" He repeated, his voice rising just a little in what she desperately hoped was concerned panic.
"I killed her," she mumbled into her knees, unwilling to move to look at him.
Damon let out a hearty laugh. "I'm not blind, Elena."
He didn't sound too upset but with Damon, she never really could be sure. Words she wished to speak flooded her mind, marinating as they twisted and turned in an effort to find her tongue. They never came; raucous sobs replaced them. She couldn't hold it together anymore. The guilt was consuming her.
In just an instant Damon had her scooped up and in his arms. Just months ago the very action would have sent her in a frenzy of panic. The simple action would have sent her kicking to get away but she relished in the comfort his arms gave her.
"What happened, Elena? Are you hurt?" His voice was dripping with concern. It sent a shiver twirling up her spine and goosebumps sailing over her skin. She let her arms fall away from her legs before twisting in his embrace on the floor.
"No," she lied. She was hurt; her heart ached and her head was pounding but those were things he didn't need to hear about. "I killed her, Damon. I'm sorry."
His brow furrowed as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "Why are you apologizing? I was going to do it myself eventually."
Elena didn't believe that. But she gave him a half smile anyways. It felt to her as though he was just saying such a thing for her benefit. "Mr. Saltzman was talking about doing it but I couldn't let him come alone."
Damon snorted in disbelief. "Ric told me you went to him. You can't lie to me, Elena. What really happened? Getting sick of dear little brother spending time with her?"
Much to her surprise, his words didn't make her feel anything. She wasn't outraged or upset at the mention of Stefan being at Katherine's beck and call. She didn't even feel the need to defend him or say anything about it at all. Instead, she found herself pushing away from the elder Salvatore brother.
Elena stood up, her long brown tresses swinging behind her. She turned her back to Damon and wiped her eyes. If he didn't care there was no use in being upset.
"I thought you would be upset," she stated after a long moment of silence passed between them. "I thought she was your lover?"
Before she could even blink, Damon was standing in front of her, blue eyes blazing. "That was a long time ago."
It was almost weird to her, having a conversation with Damon where he was being a smartass every five seconds. It was almost nice. "What are you talking about, Damon? You've been spending more time with her lately than anything else."
Damon smirked. "Were you getting jealous? Is that why you killed poor Katherine?"
"In your dreams," Elena spat, a little too defensively. A soft blush tinted her cheeks as she realized just how jealous she sounded.
The elder Salvatore brother smirked again and Elena's breath was snatched from her lungs. She hated that he began to have such an effect on her; his blue eyes and seductive smirk always managed to make her tingle. "I did it for you," she blurted without thinking. For a second she wondered if he compelled her but she knew she was still wearing her vervain necklace.
Damon's eyes grew wide but as quick as the bewilderment came, it was gone. His trademark smirk was well in place as he took a step closer. "Why would you do that?"
The brown-eyed brunette shuddered under his gaze but she couldn't look away. "Y-you said it yourself; you hate what you are when she's around."
"So you confronted a killer by yourself to fix the problem? That doesn't sound like the Elena my brother loves so much."
Elena shook her head and tried to avoid the thoughts plaguing her mind. She was telling half-truths and she knew it. "No, Mr. Saltzman was with me."
"Ah, yes, good 'ol Ric, our resident vampire hunter." Damon grinned and took another step closer. "Why don't you tell me your real reason?"
Before she could stop herself, she reached for her necklace. Even Damon couldn't hide the hurt in his eyes at the simple gesture. She immediately regretted it. This was Damon she was talking with. In the last couple of months she learned that if she could trust anybody it was definitely him.
"I don't know," she lied, unwilling to admit the true reason. "Maybe because she's a menace and it was the only solution." Another half-truth.
Even when she was being honest with herself and writing in her journal, Elena couldn't bring up the true reason for her actions this evening. It was too painful and really, it just made her to be the bad guy in the whole thing. It was true that Katherine was nothing but bad news but she could deal with that. She could deal with the threat she posed and while all of the things she did; threatening Jeremy, nearly killing Bonnie, injuring Tyler and Matt.
"I think you do know, my dear Elena," Damon drawled, clearly having fun with the whole situation. It was like he knew and he just needed to hear her say it.
"I said I did it for you, isn't that enough?" Elena questioned before turning away again. She walked a few feet away and wondered just where Alaric was. "If you're going to kill me just make it quick."
Arms wound around her from behind before she could even take her next breath. A soft gasp passed by her lips as she waited for the world to go black. When nothing happened she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Damon. His bright blue eyes were boring into her. They were filled with many emotions but none of which seemed to be anger.
"I can't explain it," she whispered. Under his gaze, vervain necklace or not, Elena felt like she had to be honest. "She was taking you away and she was going to kill everyone I love."
"Me?" Damon smirked. "Don't you mean my dear brother?"
"No," Elena snapped as she pulled away. "That's the funny thing. I wasn't thinking about him as I drove a stake through her heart. I wasn't thinking about him when I called Mr. Saltzman. I wasn't thinking of him after it was all done. You were the only one I could think about, Damon."
A wave of silence crashed over them, blanketing them in the room. When he didn't say anything after several minutes, Elena continued.
"It's been like this for awhile. Nobody makes me feel like you."
"You could have been killed, Elena," Damon sighed. His ring glinted in the dim light as he ran a hand over his face.
"I guess that was a risk I was willing to take," she offered meekly. It felt like her parents died all over again; his complete lack of reaction to her words made her feel more alone and rejected than ever before.
His fingers brushed over her cheek lightly as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "I've got to take care of the body. You should go find my dear little brother."
Elena froze. Her feet felt as if they were cemented to the ground. I don't want to find Stefan, she wished she could say. I just want to be here with you.
"So Isobel was wrong after all," she mumbled under her breath before starting towards the door.
She half wished he would stop her but she knew he was right. Stefan was her boyfriend and until that changed there couldn't be anything between them. Elena knew that but it still hurt as she opened up the door.
"I wouldn't count on it," Damon whispered, his lips pressed softly against the corner of her mouth.
Where did he come from? Before she could say anything, he was gone. Only once she reached the Salvatore boarding house did the smile he gave her fade. Faking it with Stefan was getting a little hard.
El Fin! I'm not sure what to feel about the finished project. I'm sorry if the characters seem a little OOC or if it doesn't make sense. Like I said, I'm rusty with writing fan fiction and I'm really super new to writing TVD fic. That being said, reviews would be loved! Constructive criticism is also love.
