Title: Now I Know

Author: Femvamp

Disclaimer: American Horror Story: Asylum belongs to Ryan Murphy and other people who aren't me.

Spoilers: Season 2 Episode 9: The Coat Hanger

A/N: This is a bit AU. What would have happened it Thredson had been there when Lana had shown up the second time to kill him. Her thoughts and some background on her past.


Lana had always been an inquisitive person. She had annoyed her parents to no end asking them questions about things little girls had no business asking. She had been an only child so they had let her get away with things they probably shouldn't have. She had followed her father around always questioning how things worked and why they didn't; Why the world worked the way it did.

She was the kind of child, the kind of person who touched a hot stove or put a fork in an electric socket because she wanted to know what would happen. When her mother yelled at her and asked her why she did it after they told her not to her answer was always the same, "Now I know."

It was the same answer she gave when they caught her kissing Sally Jones when she was fifteen years old.

After that her parents stopped asking her and she stopped explaining herself to them. It wasn't long until they stopped talking all together. Lana didn't mind though she had learned all she needed to from them anyway.

College had been a great experience for her. It was a whole new world that she soaked up like a sponge. It was there that she had met other people like her. It was there that she learned something that she never expected to ever learn.

It was there she learned how to love.

The first time she made love to a woman it took her breath away. It made her feel all the things that the movies and books told her she was supposed to feel but never did. She had always thought that it was just some stupid thing that people wrote to make people believe. Like Santa. Then she felt it herself. That first time it happened she whispered in the woman's ear the words that meant everything to her. The words she always said. The woman hadn't understood and Lana hadn't tried to explain. It didn't matter anyway. The relationship didn't last very long.

Because now she knew what she really wanted in life. She wanted someone to share her dreams with. It was fun to try new things, but she wanted someone to share them with. She wanted someone to come home to who understood her. She wanted to know what it felt like to know someone completely who knew you just as well. Who loved you just as well.

And then she met Wendy.

Everything was great for so long. Perfect in her life. Then the murders happened and Kit Walker got arrested. Lana wanted to know what would make a man kill. What would turn a man into a monster. What went on inside a monster's head.

What made a monster?

Lana wanted to know.

It had taken such a short time; such a short time. She had been wrong about Kit Walker. He was no monster. It had been Oliver Thredson who was the monster and she had gotten into his head but good but he had also gotten into hers. She knew what made him tick. She knew what made him into the monster he became. She understood him better then anyone else ever did.

She knew who he killed.

She knew how he killed.

She knew why he killed.

And more then that she understood his urge. His need. She looked at him sitting helplessly on the floor of the asylum that she was trapped in and felt nothing. Not even rage. She wanted to hate him. it would make it easier but she didn't.

That's when she understood. This wasn't about getting her revenge. This was about something else. There was only one way to truly understand the mind of a killer. There was only one way to get what she needed. Lana kissed him on the head and then stabbed him with the sharp end of the coat hanger and as he took his last breath she whispered in his ear, "Now I know."