Title: Hostile situations
Ratings: PG-13
Spoilers: Invisible evidence
Pairings: Cath/Sara
Disclaimer: They're not mine. I don't have money. Therefore I'm not Jerry Bruckheimer or Carol Mendelsohn.
A/N: I wrote this for a challenge on simplycsr lj community.
Not enough.
Your words are still ringing in my ears. Never have I thought that you were capable of such animosity, but then again you always never fail to amaze me.
I don't know what prompted me to want to listen in on the interrogation but I went anyway. You and Grissom must not have heard the door open, or else you would not have spoken in such manner. I backpedaled out of there so fast some of the officers had to scurry out of my way.
Ever since the first day I met you, you were nothing but hostile to me. And just when I have you figured out, you turn the tables around and leave me confused. All it takes is just a smile, a fleeting touch, and I fall for you all over again.
We just left the courthouse, and I decline the invitation to have breakfast with the rest of the guys. There's still a murder case to be solved, and I'll be damned if I let this case slip because we were working on a high profile case.
"You're going back to the lab."
I should be at least insulted at your taunting tone, but I'm not. You've got me all figured out, but I won't let you see just how deep your words sliced into me. I will not give you the pleasure of a reply, so I politely smile and walk away.
However hard I try, I can't bring myself to hate you. No, I can never hate you, for I have fallen too deeply for you. It is your touch that I yearn, your smile that I see but only in my dreams. You will never see me the way that I see you, of that I am sure.
You've made it clear you don't think too highly of me, and after overhearing what you told Grissom, I'm not sure there is even an ounce of respect for you in me left. I don't mind you making comments about my personal life, because I know you don't know the real me. But when you attack my professional work, I will fight you tooth and nail.
Just because we have different perspectives does not mean that either one of us is wrong. Science and logic tells us what and how it happened, but it doesn't tell us why it happened. I know your hostility is a residual of Eddie's case. Even though you had mentioned that you understood the circumstances, we both know you never did forgive me. That's ok, I have yet to forgive myself, so I don't expect you to do the same.
The dayshift just got done with their meeting, and most of them are not surprised to see me there. A few of the lab techs were even waiting for me. Good, that means I can finally work on the case. Before I know it, my shift has started. That means seeing you again.
I'd like to think that I'm used to your snide comments, but the one is still fresh in my mind. You're in the break room with Warrick, and when I walk into the room, the two of you eye me suspiciously. At this moment I'm too tired and too hungry to bother with a sarcastic remark, so I ignore the two of you.
Grabbing a fresh cup of coffee, I sit down on the couch and munch on an apple. I don't feel too sociable at the moment so I focus on the TV in front of me instead. Ever so often I can feel your gaze on me, but when I turn around you would turn away quickly. Warrick looks almost apologetic, but my blank expression threw him off.
I head to my car, getting ready to go to a crime scene after getting my assignment slip from Grissom. From the corner of my eyes I can see you walking toward me, and I wonder what acidic words you have come to offer me.
"Sara."
I know it's childish to ignore you, but I don't care. After all the hurt that you have put me through, still is putting me through, I'm done playing nice with you. I don't want to have anything to do with you outside of work.
"Sara." You try again, and this time I don't have the heart to deny you.
"Yeah?"
"Can we talk like adults here? For once?"
"Funny, coming from the woman who talks behind other people's back."
I heard the sharp intake of breath, and my comment must have taken you by surprise. I turn around to face you, crossing my arms and taking a defensive stand.
"Too late to play nice now, Catherine." My voice is laced with so much venom it shocked you to hear it from me.
"You didn't even notice me..." Your voice falters slightly, but I choose to ignore the gentle tug at my heart. Not the time to be weak.
"Was that why you were so cold to me? Why you were being a royal bitch to me when all I did was show up here? Because you wanted me to notice you?" I'm on a roll now, and I'm trying my best to keep my anger in check. "You're too late, Catherine. Just like Grissom, you're too fucking late."
And just like that, I walk away from you. It's not as hard as I thought it would be, but it hurts a hell lot more than I can imagine. The pain doesn't bother me at all. I've had four years to get used to the mind-numbing pain, and I'd like to think that I'm prepared. If only I can stop the tears from falling as well.
