AN: What… have I created…?
Utter Crack….
Set the Stage
By: Rejected Royal
Elsword: Lord Knight
Aisha: Void Princess
Rena: Wind Sneaker
Raven: Blade Master
Eve: Code Empress
Chung: Iron Paladin
Ara: Sakra Devanam
Elesis: Grand Master
Add: Lunatic Psyker
"So… if I do that… You'll stop chasing me?"
"Yes."
"….. Fine…."
A small theater had been set up in the forests of Elder, where two stumps were placed side by side. A small red curtain was drawn between two large trees, stretching about twenty feet tall and thirty feet wide. Some hushed voices were coming out from the opposing side.
"Right this way, Elesis!" Rena cheerfully spoke, letting the noble warrior walk ahead of her. Elesis struggled to hold her giant sword, her skirts, and her popcorn all at the same time. Rena had offered assistance and grabbed her soda before attempting to help Elesis. Never the less, she remained stubborn and sat down in the further most seat. She stuck her sword in the fresh dirt and leaned back into the half carved tree stump.
"Come on, Rena, sit next to me." Elesis giggled. "It'll be a girl's fun time."
Rena chuckled, "Well, Add wanted more of an audience, so I can join…." She promptly took a seat next to the swords-lady and took a sip of her soda. "So, what do you think the story is about?"
"With Add…" Elesis started, hearing the drum roll of the show starting, "… It can't be good." A small light directed their attention to the front of the curtain. Rena started clapping for joy while Elesis crossed her arms and smirked. When the drum rolling started…
… Nothing happened.
"Oi! I thought this was a show!" Elesis shouted out. Some heated whispers were heard from behind the curtain before a figure was thrown out. The two woman looked at the figured curled up, and then promptly started laughing. Whoever it was had been dressed horribly! Green and red stripped shirt with puffs at the figure's shoulder and elbow. Skin tight tights showed off finely sculpted legs, indicating it was a guy. Finally the person's head was adorned with an awful looking multicolored hat with a giant feather sticking out. Whoever it was knew they looked bad and hid it from the rest of the world. "START the stupid SHOW!"
The figure quickly stood up and turned. "I didn't sign up for this!"
Both girl's eye widened in shock. "Raven! What in the – "
"Rena! I didn't- I mean- What are you…"
Rena just blinked in shock then covered her mouth, trying to suppress the giggle coming out of her mouth. Raven's face turned a dark cherry red and he attempted to find the edge of the curtain. Suddenly, Aisha's voice echoed throughout the forest.
"SAY YOUR DAMN LINES!"
Raven sighed and started his lines, keeping his voice nearly monotone the entire time. "So, we begin in a place long ago, where a beautiful princess was placed under a sleeping curse. Thus the whole kingdom fell into ruins. That is until a prince from a neighboring land heard of the sleeping woman. So he quest begins…" Before the last word was said he was running to the side of the stage, trying like hell to get the hat of his head. Rena couldn't help the giggle that left her mouth. Suddenly the curtain were drawn wide open, and the two girls stared in amazement. It was a miniature stage. To the left seemed to be a doorway, where characters could enter and exit at will. On the far left of the stage, a tower was seen. At the very top, looking bored and sleepy, was Eve.
"Eve, aren't you suppose to be sleeping?" Elesis calls up.
"Yes." Was her curt response.
"Then…"
"I will not do all these stupid acting rituals."
Elesis and Rena look at each other in worry, before another voice echoes through the forest.
"I will save you, dear princess!" Out from the gate comes Add, dressed in his normal outfit, holding a small pink rose in his hand. Rena claps her hands in excitement, to which Eve sends her a deathly glare, and Elesis smirks. "Fear not! I will endure the three trials to rescue you."
"Take your time." Eve just looked down to her nails, blowing on them and checking them for blemishes, "I'm not in a hurry."
"To free the princess!" A smirk toward the audience has both of the spectators squealing (Or is it laughing, can't tell anymore) before he makes a quick jump as if giving effort to reach the tower not even thirty feet in front of him.
"Halt!" A voice – probably planned – startles the "prince" and he looks around furiously (instead of running the twenty feet to the princess, thought Elesis). Suddenly Ara jumps out from the bushes behind the set and looks Add in the Eye, "Ey, pray tell w-argg ya doing?"Everyone remains silent for a second, before Ara sighs and stops her feet in frustration, "You said I could take some acting liberties. So, I want to be a pirate! Arrg!" She waves her staff as a warning, her eyes getting watery with tears.
Add blinks, "But, I thought you were going to be the wise fox that wishes me well?"
"Ohhhh!" Ara's face lights up, "So, can I be a pirate fox?"
"….No…?"
Suddenly Ara starts crying on the stage, dropping to her knees and dropping her spear to cover her eyes. Rena attempts to get up but Elesis holds her back. "This is getting good." They both take a glimpse to see what Eve is doing and nearly facepalm, watching her play tic tac toe with Oberon on the tower walls.
"Ara, "Add tried to get her to respond, "Ara…" still more wailing, "ARA YOU CAN PLAY A PIRATE FOX IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR BLESSING!"
"Yes! Score!" Ara quickly stood up and bowed, "Avast ye maties, this man be wanting err blessing!" She slurred out, waving her finger in his face. Add just looked at her, bored. "Arrg, I wonder if ye do deserve… " Add's Nasod Dynamo opened up and started sparking. Ara quickly squeaked and bowed, "I'm sorry-I'm sorry- I'm sorry! I give you my blessing!"
The dynamo closed up and Add sighed. "Finally, now, off to free the princess!" He looked up to Eve who was paying attention to something in her lap, slightly giving off music. Striking a heroic pose, he bent down and held the rose up to Eve, "I will free you from your accursed prison!"
Eve waved at him, "Sure, take your time… he, he… Shurelia…" In the audience, Rena and Elesis couldn't help but facepalm at Eve's nonchalant attitude.
Add just laughed wholeheartly and, once again, pretended to put effort into getting to the tower that was only twenty feet away. Half way past the stage, he stopped and looked around. "I think I hear something..."
Silence.
"…. I THINK I HEAR something!..."
Still more silence.
"Elsword! THAT'S YOUR CUE!"
"OH COME ON"
"GET YOU ASS OUT HERE!"
Elsword appeared out of the bushes behind the stage and the girls resisted the urge to squeal. Out walked Elsword, bare-chested with nothing but a furry pair of tight pants. A small tail was seen behind him and his face was framed with more fur. His eyes promised retribution to anyone that commented to him, but it only made him look cuter!
"Daawwww," Elesis squealed, "My brother looks so cute!" Elsword nearly tripped and fell.
"Elesis, shut up!" He waved his fist at her, but she kept squealing.
"But you're so cute!"
"I wanted to be the end boss!"
"Trade you Elsword!" Aisha's voice echoed out
"Better than the ending person!" Chung chimed out as well.
Elsword sighed and turned to the acting prince, who pretended (pretty badly, according to Rena) to be startled by the creature. "I am the lion who lives in the wood. Stop now and I shall spare your life."
"Never!" Add said, holding the rose against his chest, "I swear to my love I shall save her!" In the tower, Eve just scoffed as she pulled out a laptop and started to play her character in the Korean game 'Elsword'.
Elsword rolled his eyes, "Then face my wrath." Held up his arms and let out a pathetic roar. Elesis couldn't help but laugh at her brother's pathetic acting and bent over in her chair, laughing her butt off. Even Rena had taken to laughing, placing her soda next to her on the side of the stump. Add lifted up his arm and brought it down quickly to Elsword's shoulder. Elsword yelped in shock and fell down. "Owe you jerk, that hurt!"
"Oh grow up you idiot!" Elesis shouted, standing up and yelling to Elsword, which caused the few people on stage to look at her, "If you get hurt by that, we need to go back to training!"
"Uh… Elesis," Rena pulled her down, trying to stop her giggles, "It's just acting."
"Right, and I'm the duke of Sanders." She scoffed and looked back to the show. Elsword was holding his shoulder while Add stood above him, laughing.
"I have defeated the mighty lion! There is nothing that can stop me!" Add laughed and, once again, pretended to do some weird moves to get to the tower that was literally less than ten feet from him.
"Halt!" Add stopped as he reached at bottom of the tower and gasped in mock surprise. A bunch of fog started pouring out from behind the bushes and a tall figure started to come out from behind them. "You shall not touch the princess. Buwhahaha!" Long arms came up and reached out. Rena quickly hid behind Elesis, while Elesis grabbed her sword from her spot, ready to strike. The figure moved forward, clothed in darkness, before a hiccup came from the figure. The mist cleared and there stood Aisha, with Angkor balanced on her head. Angkor was holding his belly, looking quite large-ish while Aisha held her arms against her chest, and glared at Add. "You aren't getting the princess."
"And, pray tell, who are you!?" Add asked in a princely manner. Rena looked out to the stage again from her hiding place.
"I am the witch who cursed the tower!" Aisha jumped up and down, laughing, "You cannot fight me!"
Add's Nasod Dynamo opened, "I will fight you for my love!" He sent a spark to Aisha whom just teleported out of the way and laughed.
"You cannot defeat me!" Aisha stuck out her tongue. "I'm – " A sudden sound caught everyone's attention. We all turn to look at Angkor, who now started looking very green. "Angkor?" Aisha asked.
"I- I don't think I should have had that candy." Angkor moaned out. Before anyone could say anything else, a huge amount of black miasma poured out from his mouth, drenching Aisha in the liquid. Everyone remained quiet until after Angkor finished his bout, before swiftly apologizing. Aisha stood there, her mouth opening up and down before getting covered with a lacey handkerchief thrown down by Eve. Almost as if that was the cue, Aisha started crying, to which Angkor quickly was trying to make amends, promising her more power and a chance to wear what she wanted…
"O…k? Add's voice made the audience's eyes turn to him, "That wasn't planned."
"NO KIDDING!" Elesis yelled, startling the four people on stage, "NOW WALK YOUR BUTT FIVE FEET AND FINISH THIS PLAY!" Next to her, Rena was doubled over in laughing at the misfortune of her fellow comrads. Add's eye lit up like a child on Christmas.
"Sounds like a plan, person number one." Add laughed while Elesis facepalmed. He, once again, made his way to the extremely close tower and, after arriving at it, got down on one knee and held out his rose, looking at the top of the tower…
… Eve wasn't there. Instead, a small note was hanging off the side, which claimed she would be back after a small coffee break.
It was quiet on the stage, minus Aisha's wailing, following Add's revelation that Eve was no longer up there. He stood there, quietly, still frozen in the same position – until Elesis started breaking out in laughter.
"Eve, that is hilarious!" Add's head whipped toward the audience as quickly as he could to see Elesis doubled over in laughter, Rena covering her mouth and snorted. Eve sat down next to them, Oberon on his hands and knees holding her up while she sipped a cup of tea.
"I'm glad you approve of the joke, Rena." Eve replied in her normal monotone voice.
"Eve! What about our deal!" Add shouted, mouth agape and hands waving like a maniac.
Eve turned to look at him, "I preformed in the human performance of Sleeping Beauty. Wasn't that enough?"
"No!" Add yelled, "I was suppose to kiss you!" Eve's head cocked to the side.
"But that is a human emotion."
"Kiss or I keep chasing."
Eve remained quiet for a second before sighing. She stood up and walked over to Add, who's smile now registered thirty Watts. Eve looked up to him and blinked, "Close your eyes." He quickly closed his eyes and pushed his lips toward the nasod queen. She turned around to look at Ophelia and, in turn, Ophelia quickly came forward and placed her lips on to Adds, before backing away. Add didn't notice the apparent switch around and started cheering.
Elesis came up from behind Eve and placed her elbow onto Eve's shoulder. "So, how long until he realizes you didn't kiss him?"
"…. I give him a week."
Rena was about to speak up before a person in a floor length gown came running out. "So, Add got me in this freaking dress for nothing!?" A squeal came from Rena and she quickly ran up to Chung, surveying the pretty dress. Eve looked around the clearing and sighed
"Humans are so weird..."
Utter crack, I know, but after two killer midterms, I needed to vent somewhere. This'll get beta read sometime in the future. Currently mine is on hiatus and looking for a new one.
Next two items are requests, then the next chapter of Birth of Masters.
Read and Review. My fingers type for you.
-Rejected Royal
